


Sleepy Boi's Oneshots (mostly Tommy centric)

by Toephe



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Among Us (Video Game) Setting, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amputation, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author is a TommyInnit Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Bird Hybrid Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Blood, Blood and Injury, Brother Technoblade, Brother Wilber Soot, Dadza, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explosions, Family Feels, Fix-It, Found Family, Ghostbur, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kid Fic, Manipulation, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Nightmares, Platonic Relationships, Raccooninnit, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tommyinnit needs a hug, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27538807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toephe/pseuds/Toephe
Summary: A pile of Oneshots. They'll probably often be hurt comfort because I love that shit.Everything strictly platonic.Please read tags for triggers. I have memory issues and will often forget to put them.If any of them claim to be uncomfortable with fan fiction it will be taken down.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, No Romantic Relationship(s), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 60
Kudos: 725





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wilber blows up Manburg and Tommy gets lost in the rubble. Luckily a winged figure is there to save him.

Tommy doesn't know what's happening. Everything is so warm. Everything hurts so much.

The fire around him burns so hot. He coughs and struggles, trying to open his eyes.

Then he feels the weight lifted a bit and someone grabbing his arm. He can't help but whimper; feeling scared and hurt.

"Tommy! Tommy can you hear me?" A familiar panicked voice asks him. There is a hand on his face and he pushes into it. He cracks his eyes open a little bit and looks up at the short figure.

"Dad?" He can barely croak out. The figure makes this panicked laugh and pulls him up. He's struggling but soon enough gets a tight enough hold. "Phil... What?" He can't grasp why he is here and why he hurts all over.

"We have to get out of here," Phil mumbles and just like that he puts his wings to use. He struggles to get into the air with the extra weight but he manages

Tommy feels the safest he has felt in a long time.

\---

When Tommy wakes up he's confused. He isn't in Pogtopia or Manburg. He feels the sheets of the bed, they are soft and comforting. When is the last time he slept? Wilber and Techno would always stay up tell they passed out somewhere. He sort of just followed what they did so his sleeping habits got worse. To be honest, he can't sleep without nightmares anymore.

He starts to sit up and he feels like he got hit by a bag of bricks. He lets out a small,  
"Fuck," and pushed through the pain. He looks around the room and feels like he's lost his breath. His childhood bedroom.

He's home. His home before he left with Wilber to the Smp.

He forces himself to his feet and drags himself to the door. He can do it. He's a big man. He can do anything he sets his mind to.

He stumbles to the living room and finds Phil reading through old letters. Tommy frowns, he got to busy to keep sending letters. Honestly he had forgot. He got so busy with the wars and trying to stop Wilber that he just neglected it.

Phil finally looks up and notices his youngest son. He notices the guilt all over his face. He immediately races to stand up and get Tommy to sit.

"You shouldn't be walking around like this," he tells him gently.

"Phil... What happened? Why am I back home?" Phil sighs and sits next to his son. He puts an arm around him protectively. The thought of what would of happened to Tommy if he didn't get there in time is still fresh in his mine.

"Tommy.. Manburg is gone," as Phil says this he watches Tommy's face drop. He watches his sons eyes fill with panic and worry.

"Shit! Did Tubbo get out? What about Techno and Wilbur? Is everyone okay?" He rushes out, tears welling up in his eyes. The thought of being the only surviver is terrifying.

Phil stops for a second and tries to think about how to handle this. He takes a deep breath.

"I didn't see anyone else besides you Tommy. I, uh, tried to go to the hidey hole you guys have been staying in but," Phil stops the worry clear in his eyes, "it was all rubble. Everything was destroyed." He watches as his sons face crumbles and he lets out a heartbreaking sob. Phil quickly pulls him into his chest, hand on the back of his head.

"We- we gotta go back! Please! I-I," he chokes on a sob. He pulls back trying to wipe his eyes furiously. They sting and hurt but not as bad as the rest of his body aches. He has to be a big man. Big man Tommy. He needs to make sure no one quit and gave up.

"Tommy your injured, we can't go back right now."

"No! Please! I-I'll do anything! Tubbo needs me! And- and you need to get Wilbur! Please!" He watches as his son falls apart and tries to decide what to from here. Tommy watches his eyes light up and heads to his chest room.

Tommy wants to follow but Phil shouts to him to stay where he is.

Phil comes back and gives him a healing potion. It won't fix everything but will sure help.

Tommy downs it as quickly as possible. His nose wrinkling at the horrid taste. But you gotta do what you gotta do.

After he quickly stands, "can we head out soon? Please?" He practically begs.

"Let's go save your brothers Tommy."

\---

On their journey to the Smp Tommy updates Phil on everything. He explains how busy he got after he stopped writing letters. He explains the fights he would get in with Wilbur and Techno. He even describes this one time when Techno hurt Tubbo's feelings they fought it out.

"What do you mean The Pit?" Phil interrupts.

"Oh... Ha, yeah. Um, we fought tell I was bloody and bruised," Tommy lets out an awkward chuckle. He can feel the anxiety filling his chest with the small lie. "It's how Techno settles things. With dueling." Tommy paused and Phil looks like he's about to speak when Tommy adds, "I'm tired of fighting."

Phil can feel his heart break at this. He remembers when his son was so full of life and spirit. Now he just looks tired. He should of never let them all go alone.

"Tommy I'm so sorry. When Technoblade left I told him to protect you both. I sent him to help you. Not do this. I-"

"But we asked him to come!" Tommy interrupts, glancing over to Phil, the gears slowly turning in his head.

"I knew once your letter came in that you would need him. I told him to protect you both. I never even considered he might get caught up in the violence like this." Phil signs. He never thought his sons would be lead this far astray.

"But your back Phil," Tommy grins, "if anyone can help it's you."

\---

When they finally get back to Smp they go straight to Manburg. Tommy insists on not resting before heading over.

The sight they find makes Tommy's heart race.

There is Wilbur, Techno and Tubbo searching through the rubble.

"Wilbur!" He hears Tubbo yell and he watches as Wilber runs over to Tubbo  
He jumps over the rubble. His trenchcoat is filled with dirt and is overall gross.

Then Tommy sees all the blood. Tubbo has moved some rocks and the dried blood looks like a murder scene.

Wilbur collapses upon not seeing Tommy.

"Fuck! No no no no! I-I don't get it! He should of respawned. Where the hell is he?" He shouts, he sounds like he's in agonizing pain. He can't hear what Tubbo said but Wilbur's reaction is telling, "No! He couldn't of quit! This is Tommy. Tommy. Big man Tommy. Tommy wouldn't quit. He wouldn't quit Tubbo!" He watches his brother break down. He gets off the horse and before Phil can even say anything he's off running.

It hurts like a bitch; but seeing everyone's faces while staring at his blood hurts more.

"Wilbur! Tubbo! Techno!" He shouts and their heads snap up immediately. Wilbur's on his feet and is running. When they meet Wilbur grabs him and pulls him close. The hug is tight and hurts a bit but there is no where else Tommy would rather me.

"Fuck! Tommy. Tom. Fuck," Wilbur breaks down into tears, shoving his head into his brothers shoulders.

The others soon join him, Tommy in the middle. Tommy goes to grab Tubbo and pull him close. Tubbo sobs

"Big T! Oh god your all okay!" Tommy lets out a happy laugh, one of relief. "Did they all get out? Is everyone okay?"

"Schlatt got what he deserved. He respawned but no one has heard from him. He connected the button to Pogtopia," Techno supplies and looks up to see someone else approach.

Wilbur glances up hearing the foot steps. His eyes widen and he lets out a small gasp. Tubbo frown and pulls himself alway from Tommy a bit to get a look. He frowns not knowing who the hell this may be.

"You boys got a lot of explaining to do," Phil shakes his head approaching them. Techno and Wilbur look guilty.

"I did what I had to," Wilbur tries to say with strength. But his voice shakes a bit.

"What you had to do? No Wilbur. You never had to do this." Phil gestures around him.

"What was I supposed to do? No one ever told me how to do any of this!" Wilbur cries out. His voice trembles, that crazed expression he had been wearing for the past week is gone. Now he just looks lost. You can see his regret washing over him.

"Wilbur," Phil takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry I didn't come with you when you left." And that's all that needs to be said for him to breakdown.

Wilbur is on the ground sobbing.

Tommy is immediately by his side. He sits besides him in a side hug. He nuzzles his head into Wilbur's shoulder.

Phil quickly crouches down in front of him and Wilbur falls into Phil. He wails apologies of how he never meant for any of this to happen. He cries about how he use to want the best but how bad his head is.

If Tommy had to describe it he would say that he is watching a broken man's head cracking open with a thunder storm pouring out.

"I know you always wanted the best. You always meant the best," Phil comforts him.

"Well actually it started with drugs," Tubbo points out. Tommy's head snaps up and he makes motions of "why the fuck would you tell my Dad about this." Then Phil starts laughing. It's a gut laugh and it has the others joining in.

Tubbo lets out a, "wait that's your Dad-"

The soon adjust so Wilbur is besides Phil. Phil has one of his wings wrapped around Wilber. He feels protected and safe, lik he use to when they where kids.

"Of course you two move here, try to start selling drugs and start a nation," Phil grins at his two children. He then looks up at Techno.

The air suddenly gets thick.

Now usually Techno doesn't react to things but the thought of his father being disappointed in him makes him want to claw his skin off.

"Techno I told you when your left to protect them. But you fed into this. Why?"

"I-," he trails out, guilt written all over his face. "I got distracted."

"No, you wanted to blow it up and kill everyone!" Tommy buts in. He frowns at his brother and crosses his arms.

"Techno how does getting distracted mean beating the shit out of your little brother in a hole," Phil gives him the look.

"Oh so he told you about the pit," Techno lets out a little laugh. His usually monotone voice sounds anxious. "I don't have an excuse," his voice sounds small.

"I- I told them to fight," Wilbur buts in, looking at Phil. His eyes are red from crying. "It's my fault Phil."

"I don't know what's gotten into you boys," Phil sighs, his voice filled with disappointment. Even not being directed at Tommy or Tubbo it makes them cower a bit.

"I'm sorry Dad," Techno is clearly trying to hide his emotions as usual. He reaches up and pulls off his mask. Phil looks at his face than then opens his arms to his middle son. Techno awkwardly shuffles over and kneels down into his Dad's arms.

Tubbo smiles at the small family and Tommy motions for him to get over there.

"Hey Dad you've never met Tubbo!" Tommy grins, throwing an arm over Wilbur's shoulder.

Wilbur lets out a small laugh, "he has a lot of catching up to do."

\---

They end up in the mini Pogtopia. A little cave that they found and built up.

Immediately a bunch of the survivors of Manburg rush up to him.

"Tommy! Big man!" Quackity grins, "hell yeah the drug cartel isn't over!"

"Tommy! Your okay!" Bad hugs him gently, "they found you?"

"No and yes, Phil found me! I'm gonna have some awesome scars too!" Tommy grins but you can see the little bit of anxiety.

"Phil? Who's Phil?" Bad looks up to see the group now. Phil still had a wing wrapped around his oldest son with Techno trailing behind him.

"He's our Dad," Techno supplies, mask now fastened tightly on his face again.

"I heard voices, what's going on?" Niki rounds the corner and sees Tommy. She rushes forward and pulls him in for a hug, "your okay!"

"Drug cartel?" Phil asks and Tommy laughs nervously.

"Jokes all jokes!"

\---

Phil hates seeing everyone living in the small cave. So he suggests once everyone is feeling better building L'manburg back up.

Everyone besides Wilbur and Techno seem excited.

He needs to talk to them about it. But he tells them how there isn't going to be one or two leaders. They all decide the laws and rules as a group. They all vote for them. Everyone is an equal.

He sighs and enters Wilbur's and Tech is hole in the cave they share as a room. Wilbur is sitting on his bed, playing around with his guitar. Techno is sharpening his sword.

"Hey," Phil says, leaning against the doorway. Wilbur stops strumming and looks up.

"I just wish we had old L'manburg back Phil," Wilbur frowns, immediately saying what's on his mind. "It was once so nice and then it got so big and," he trails off, "I miss not feeling like and outsider."

"Wilbur-"

"They all think I'm crazy Phil!" He suddenly shouts.

"Wilbur you blew up their home," Phil walks over and sits on his bed, "you hurt them. They are scared."

"I just am so tired! They where hunting us Phil, Tommy and I. I put two kids through so many wars and I don't know what to do! I've hurt them all so bad." Wilbur moves his guitar and pulls his knees to his chest.

"Wilbur, there is no better time than now to fix things," he puts a hand on Wilbur's back, trying to meet his eyes. "Now Techno why are you upset about rebuilding."

"Huh?" He frowns.

"A father can always tell," is all Phil says.

"I don't know Da- Phil. I was so down for anarchy. I wanted to see the chaos. Unless there is something entertaining me, I feel empty," Techno tells him. Phil can see his mistake sending Techno here alone. Techno has always been a thrill chaser. He has a certain hole he is always trying to fill. His dull, calm voice a reflection on it.

"Well," Phil pauses to think, "what if we set up a fighting rink in L'manburg? Like how you and Dream use to always spar." He can see techno smile from the memories. "We'll have competitions."

"I heard my name," a voice suddenly pipes up from the door way. Phil looks over at the masked figure and shakes his head.

"Dream, when I let my two boys come on this server I never thought you would be one to kill them," Phil starts. Dream tries to go to say something but is stopped, "you are a ruler. How big was L'manburg Dream? You couldn't give up that tiny piece of land?"

"Phil they started the war. They where literally drug dealers," Dream points out.

"And killing them was the way to go?" Dream let's out a long sigh,

"Have you ever seen how often Tommy dies? I bet the pain doesn't even affect him anymore," Dream shrugs. Phil can feel the anger well up inside of him,

"What-"

"I don't even feel it anymore?" Tommy comes out from around the corner. There is a dull look of pain in his eyes.

"Tommy-" Dream starts but Tommy cuts him off, pulling his shirt up. His body is littered with scars. The bandages from yesterday soaked up and bloody. It's a miracle it hasn't bleed through to white on his shirt.

"I die all the time," he drops his shirt, "I feel each time a sword goes through me. Or I bleed out from arrows or when I don't make the jump into the water. Every time I can feel it Dream. It doesn't get better." Tommy looks away from them. He shakes his head and walks off.

"Holy fuck," Techno mumbles, never really noticing all the scars. Looking at Wilbur you can see his heart break a little more. He looks like he was about to start crying. It seemed like no one knew about the scars. Phil just sighs, already have seen them while dressing his wounds from the other day.

"I think sometimes you all forget Tommy is a kid," Phil stands up. He keeps his gaze cold, "Dream, I expect you won't fight us on rebuilding L'manburg?"

"I can't, I granted them freedom."

"Good," is all Phil says as he walks out.

He looks around Pogtopia 2.0 looking for Tommy. Just with a quick glance he can't find him. He looks to Tubbo and knows the boy already can tell what he's going to ask.

"Oh, he uh left. Said he wanted to go in a walk. I tried to go with him but he wouldn't let me," Tubbo walks with him to the entrance. By then Phil waves him off, wanting to talk to Tommy alone.

Now where Tommy may be. Pogtopia is underground so there is no where to go after the bombs. L'manburg seems like a good idea so he heads in that direction.

When we gets there he scopes through the rocks. It's dark so he tries to look for the white in Tommy's shirt. When he spots the boy the spot looks familiar. While walking over he realizes it's where he was stuck under the rocks.

Phil holds back a sigh and sits by his youngest son.

They sit there in silence tell Tommy speaks up,

"I have nightmares all the time. I can't sleep."

"You've been through a lot; it makes sense that you wouldn't be able to get a goods nights rest," he gently puts a hand on his back.

"Dad, I died in the pit," he admits, "we fought to death." Tommy and Phil let the silence sit for a bit. Phil feels horrible. When did they all fall so far off track?

Tommy lays back to stare at the stars, "sometimes I wonder what they would think if I had just quit there. Do you think Techno would of felt bad?" Tommy looks over at Phil. His eyes looks red and puffy. Tommy isn't one to show when he's hurting so this struck Phil in the heart. He moves and grabs Tommy from under the arms and pulls him into a backwards hug.

Tommy wraps his arms around Phil's and leans back into him.

"Techno would feel horrible. You saw them when they found the blood," Phil rests his head on top of Tommy's own. He can feel his shake in his arms.

"I've thought of quitting before," Tommy pauses and let's out a harsh breathe through his nose, "I mean, at least then I wouldn't die as much. And maybe they'd be happy they don't have to deal with my annoying ass." Phil can feel the sobs he's holding in. He holds him a little tighter,

"Tommy you aren't annoying. Your their little brother. What would Tubbo do without you, huh? Wilber would have gone mad without you!"

"Phil, he went mad with me around!"

"And we are going to get him the help he needs. He is just as scared and confused as you are. Everyone here is scared-" Tommy cuts him off immediately,

"Techno isn't." This makes Phil snort.

"He just has a hard outer shell. You should of seen the regret and fear in his eyes when he realized what he's done. He got blinded by war. Everyone has." He feels Tommy lean back into him. He moves his head when Tommy looks up at him.

"Remember when I would have nightmares and I'd collect everyone and force them to sleep in your bed?"

"Or course. You all where all so young back them."

"We should do that again." This makes Phil start laughing.

\---

Rebuilding L'manburg isn't as hard as some may think. They level out the ground and start working on their own houses.

Things start popping up everywhere. Where the white house once was is now Phil's house. Despite how they all grew up, they all decide to live in the same house. Of course they have their own houses that they go to, but it's mostly for storage.

Techno is the one that uses his house, or well, cave the most. The man prefers his privacy. Yet he is never always from home for too long.

He continues to build the fighting rink and other challenges. He had made them so you can't die, out of Phil's request. Though he is secretly glad about that.

Techno is now more protective over Tommy.

Wilbur still has his intrusive thoughts, but makes them into music. Some of the things he sings about are horribly dark and gruesome but as long as he isn't doing any of them, no one cares. Tommy will often sit and listen to him. It's the only time Tommy isn't moving.

Wilbur even forgave Fundy and introduced Phil to his grandson. Phil was ecstatic to have another person part of the family.

Wilbur is now the one who tends to Tommy's wounds when he does get hurt.

Phil spends his days decorating L'manburg. He keeps and eye out for the rest of the residents. Currently he's trying to get Quackity to stop selling drugs. It really isn't working.

Phil now has to try and stop Tommy from selling drugs as well.

Tommy is still the man he was before. He is loud and obnoxious but he loves when he can make people smile. He will often push people's buttons and get hurt but he no longer dies from it. It's a step up in Phil's eyes.

Tommy spends time watching for Schlatt, waiting for him to come back. He watches Tubbo's back and Tubbo does the same for him.

They all decided TNT was banned from L'manburg.


	2. Feral kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one in the family ever expected a third kid. But when Techno finds a kid stealing potatoes from the farm, dirty and starving, what else would they do?
> 
> -  
> Basically they find a feral kid that's been living in thr woods alone for a year.
> 
> Be prepared, it's a long boi.

\--- 3rd person

Tommy knows what it's like to be alone. He prefers it actually. If he's alone there isn't anything that can bother him. The only thing he has to worry about is food, water and a place to sleep. No one really payed attention to him and he already had trouble speaking.

Now days he usually just steals from houses gardens at night. He lives out in the woods by himself. Now if he was older he would be homeless, but Tommy is around six years old. So most people in the village just think of him as feral.

He left the orphanage around a year ago. He left because he was never treated fairly. The other kids would push and hit him. The adults running the facility wouldn't do shit about it. They would ignore him, wouldn't feed him properly and he was tired of being yelled at. He never properly got to grow up. He was never taught what to do.

So he decided in the woods alone and hide from everyone.

Well not everyone. There is one kid around his age who will come out and visit him. He'll often bring food for Tommy. His name is Tubbo. 

Tubbo doesn't understand why Tommy is so dirty and weird but he loves him anyways. Tubbo doesn't mind that Tommy can't talk much or that he smells horrible. Instead he just talks to him and goes swimming with him. It does a little bit for the hygiene problem. 

One day Tommy trusts him enough to lead him to where he lives, a small cave countered by vines.

Tubbo to show his appreciation gives Tommy one of his stuffed animals. Tommy sleeps curled around it now.

\--- Techno

The first time I notice something is off is when some of my potatoes are gone. They weren't replanted. Something is stealing from MY potato farm.

I heads inside to complain to my family.

"Techno, it's like 5 potatoes. Who cares?" Wilbur snorts and goes back to strumming.

"Phil you get it don't you? Every potato counts," I turns to my father figure, "if it keeps happening it'll slow down my production speed."

"Well, next time when we go in town we'll get some traps and fencing," Phil says, from his place at the stove. He's probably making lunch.

But I don't know the next time we will be in town? I couldn't let the village kid catch up on having the most potatoes. 

So I decided tonight I am going to guard my potatoes tonight.

\---

While watching he notices a small figure creeping out of the woods. I grip my bow and aim. I can't really tell what it is so I don't shoot yet. I start to move forward slowly but a leaf under my foot gives me always.

The thing immediately looks up and it's a kid. He can't be more than five. He's so small and malnourished, even in the dark lighting he looks tiny.

How the fuck did a kid get this small? I've never been good with kids.

"Hey... Buddy?" I drop the bow and arrow. The kid flinches at that, but keeps an eye on me. He isn't running so that's a good sign, "where are your parents?" The look on his face doesn't change. I don't think he can understand me.

"What's your name kid?" I take a step closer and I watch his body tense up. He hisses at me.

What the hell. What kid hisses? Oh god, is he a furry?

"Techno, what are you doing up so late?" Phil calls from the door.

I watch the kid turn and sprint. He is surprisingly fast.

"Fuck Phil, I found out who is stealing potatoes. It's a kid."

\--- Wilbur

After hearing from Techno about the kid I started keeping an eye out. I'm the next one to see him.

I'm off in the woods playing guitar. I like to go out of the house to practice so they don't hear when I mess up.

I sit on my stump and practice a new song I came up with. I strum, eyes down on my hand.

I'm interrupted by soft giggling. I look up to see the boy Technoblade described. The boy is way more skinny and dirty than I thought. He looks like he hasn't showered and has been rolling around in dirt for months.

I can't tell what color his hair is supposed to be. His eyes are a piercing blue. His clothes are a little too tight on him but they do the job. Where the hell is this kids parents?

Before I can say anything though, the kid is frowning. He lets out a small grunt. He looks at me expectantly. 

"Hey, kid, what you doing out here?" I give him a gentle smile, not wanting to scare him off.

The kid frowns harder, his expressions are very telling. Then he says something,

"N-noize!" He squeaks out, pointing at my arms. I look down at the guitar and strum it experimentally. That makes the kid grin. I decide to play him one of my upbeat songs. The kid giggling and dancing around is honestly super cute. If only he didn't look like he was starving to death. Or if he was clean.

Once I stop playing the kid frowns at me again.

"Say, you want to go get some food? You look hungry," I say, slowly standing up. The kid takes a step farther away. I sling my guitar over my shoulder and look at him hopefully. "Don't you want something to eat mate?"

I watch the kid take a couple more steps back then run. I sigh, knowing I couldn't catch up. He already disappeared into the thick brush. I need to tell Phil about this. We need to find out who this kid is.

\--- Phil

When I finally decided it was time to try and find out more about this kid. When I ask most people they have no clue what I'm talking about. The people that do know of him call him "The Feral Kid." All of them say they don't know where he came from. One even shows him a scar from when the kid bit him. 

I don't know how no one knows where this small child showed up from. Most of the people just say he probably some hobos kid. I don't understand how so many people can just accept there is a kid living in the woods, starving.

I make sure to buy a little extra from the markets. The kid hasn't been stealing potatoes as much but I think he would appreciate some dinner.

Later I'm watching the spot I left a plate of food and I see him. He's sniffing the air like a dog would. It makes me smile a little bit. He is just as dirty and skinny as Wilbur and Techno described.

He walks over to the plate cautiously, and then he sees me. I wave to him gently and lean back against the tree. He frowns and looks at the food again. I left him some cooked fish (without the bones) and some fried potatoes. He honestly looks like he is going to start drooling.

He grabs the fish with his hands and shoves it in his mouth. He chews with his mouth opens and eats quickly.

"Hey, buddy slow down, you don't want to throw up," I tell him gently. He stares at me and coughs. He looks confused.

"Can you understand what I say?" I ask him, he frowns more at me. He coughs again and says,

"B-Bird man." It's quiet and timid but it makes me smile.

"Bird man? Am I bird man? Well I'm actually called Phil, if you would like to know," I grin and watch as he shoves potatoes in his mouth. He looks like he is in heaven. He finishes the food quickly and has a small smile on his face. "What's your name little guy?"

He suddenly looks super offended.

"B-big man!" He says that quite loudly. His voice is far more raspy than any kids should be. How long has he been out here?

"Okay, does the big man have a name?" I ask again, slowly standing up. The kid sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry at him. He then turns and runs.

I want to run after him but the he is already gone deep in the woods.

\--- 

For the past month we keep leaving food out for the kid. Today we a decided to go to the spot Wilbur met him. Maybe today we can get him to come close. So I had Wilbur grab his guitar and Techno brought some cooked potatoes. I don't know how a kid this young survived this long alone.

When we get to the stop we see something unexpected. It's another kid. The new kid has to be older than the "feral kid."

"Tommy! I brought extra honey this time! Tommy!" The small boy sets the jar onto the stump. We all watch as the kid, Tommy I guess, races out into the clearing.

He throws himself into the boy, "Tubbo!" He giggles and hugs the small boy. He genuinely looks like a little kid who is just excited to see his friend.

"I brought more honey for you this time! And since I make it myself they won't notice!" The new kid, Tubbo, explains to the boy. When the words come out of Tubbo's mouth it seems like Tommy understands more.

Tommy grabs the jar and tries to use his teeth to open the lid. This makes Wilbur snort next to me. Immediately Tommy is staring at us. He pushes himself in front of Tubbo. Tubbo looks at us and smiles,

"Oh! Are you guys his brothers or something? Why you live in a cave?" Tubbo smiles gently at us. He is completely reading the situation wrong.

"Oh my God, he's an orphan," Techno mutters. If I wasn't dealing with kids right now I'd smack him upside the head.

"We both were orphans, idiot," Wilbur groans. I look at them both and they shut up.

"You are his brother right? You even have blond hair like him!" Tubbo exclaimes and Tommy whines. He looks uncomfortable and you can tell Tommy doesn't want them there. I take a step out towards the clearing,

"We just met him a month ago. When did you meet him?" I ask Tubbo gently.

"Like, a year ago! We are best friends!" Tubbo tells me proudly. Tommy just looks confused and huddles closer to Tubbo.

"Do you know where his family is Tubbo?" Wilbur speaks up.

"Huh? No! He just showed up out here! He use to talk more back then too!"

"Nuh uh!" Tommy whines out to the boy, pouting. Techno makes a comment about him speaking so loudly. With Tubbo here he seems more confident. I smile at them,

"How old are you?"

"Oh! I'm 6 and imma be 7 soon!" Tubbo tells me excitedly. Tommy frowns, I sit down onto the ground to make him more comfortable. I think the only reason he hadn't ran away yet is Tubbo.

"Tommy how old are you?" I ask him gently. He looks very confused. He looks down at his hands and tries to count. He keeps messing up and not being able to count. So I ask Tubbo, "how old was he when you first met Tubbo?" 

"Oh! He was five! Now we all grown up!" Tubbo seems to think for a second, "he use to talk more back then! Now he all quiet!"

"No! Big man!" He insists. I chuckle, looking back at my brothers.

"Tommy, you want some potatoes? We brought some for you," I watch the small boys eyes light up. I reach back and Techno hands me the plate. I hold it out in front of me. Tommy looks at Tubbo questioningly. Tubbo just nods and pushes him forward. Tommy creeps forward and reaches for the plate.

"Careful," I tell him and hand it to him. He takes a couple steps back and sits down. He shoved handfuls in his mouth quickly.

"So," Wilbur comes and sits next to me, "do we have a new brother?"

"I don't know Dad, he does have an appreciation for potatoes," Techno joins me on my other side. I laugh at the comment.

"I don't know if we'll be able to catch him. Who knows if he'd come willingly,"I say watching Tommy lick the plate. He looks back at Tubbo. Tubbo walks over to us,

"You give him a bath. He's gross!" He demands.

"Not gross!" Tommy rasps out and starts coughing. If he's sick and weak he could die out here. I don't know how he's survived this long.

"Tommy would you like to get clean? I can heat up water and even get you some new clothes." Tommy doesn't seem like he understands, so he looks to Tubbo who nods at him. He looks at me and nods.

I slowly push myself to my feet. Wilbur and Techno following my actions. Tubbo grabs the jar of honey off the ground where Tommy dropped it.

Tubbo reaches and grabs my hand. I smile at the young boy. I wonder if his parents know where he is. He is quite young to be going out the forest alone.

I'm surprised when I feel another small hand grab onto mine. I smile down at him and lead him towards our house.

When we get there Tubbo let's go if my hand and runs towards the potato farm. Techno quickly follows, not wanting the young boy to trample his crops.  
Tommy watches the boy closely. I gently guide him inside, Wilbur already out to go get a bucket of water.

Soon enough we get him in the bath. His reaction to the warm water we heated up is strange. He seems to know what's happening but I know it's been a while. The water seems to already be helping the dirt off his body.

"You want some help bud? I can help you wash your hair if you like," I lean against the tub, not exactly sure what boundaries he has. I mean this is the first time we are aloud to touch him.

He frowns for a second then grabs my hand and places it on top of his head. I chuckle and grab a cup from when Techno and Will were kids. I gently have him lean his head back and pour the water over. He makes a small whine and I shush him. The dirt that comes out I'd gross. What's worse is the fleas and ticks.

I sign and decide to deal with the bugs afterwards. I take some shampoo in my hands and massages it into Tommy's scalp. Tommy leans into my touch. I wonder how much contact he's gotten in his life. Besides Tubbo, he's been alone for a good year.

I'm not letting him go live in the woods again. 

I guess we have a new member of the family.

When we are done with his bath (after multiple water changes), I have him sit in front of me so I can pick the bugs out of his hair. He's now wearing some of Techno's old clothes. The clothes are way to big for him but he'll grow into them once he is fed properly. I even was able to find a old pair of shoes that would fit. He looks a lot more relaxed now that he's clean. 

Tubbo had to leave about an hour ago. We all went with him to the edge of the forest and Tubbo ran off into the village. While we head back, I keep Tommy's hand in mine and he willingly follows us.

I shake the thoughts out of my head and check his hair one last time. I then stand and ruffle his hair,

"Bug free now Tommy!" I motion him to follow me back inside. He sticks close to me, eyeing where Techno and Wilbur are sparing. Techno is winning at the moment.

I open the door for him and he scampers in. It's been a while since we've had a kid around, it'll be nice.

I head over to the counter to get started in dinner. Tommy watches from besides me, struggling to see above the counter. I set the carrots down and hold my arms out to him. He looks very confused on what this means.

"Can I pick you up to set you on the counter?" I ask him, not wanting to freak him out. He seems to think, probably going over the words that make sense, before he nods.

I can easily pick him up so I place him next to where I'm cutting the carrots. He watches me with interest. I look up and hold back a snort. I hand him a piece of carrot, knowing that's what he wants. He lets out a happy squeak and crunches in it.

"Thank you!" He squeals out with his mouth full. I can't help the smile that forms in my face,

"Of course buddy. No problem," I listen to his happy crunches tell he runs out of carrot. We sit in comfortable silence tell I decided to talk, "so Tommy," I wait for his attention to be on me, "I don't want you to be living out in the woods anymore." I make sure to say things slowly. He nods and frowns at me. I don't think he understands where I'm going with this. "I want you to live here with us. You'll get food and a bed. And you can see Tubbo more!"

"Tubbo! An food?" He questions. I nod,

"And baths, friends and everything else you'll need." Tommy frowns with thought. I wonder how his mind works. Is he just bad at speaking or does he not understand?

"Need Heny," he points out like it's the most obvious thing. I wonder what is "Heny" but I don't question him.

"Why don't I have techno and Wilbur bring you out to go get Heny-", Tommy interrupts me with a,

"No! Henrrrry!" He corrects me, like he didn't just say Heny. I just play along and nod, giving him my apologies.

"Sorry, Henry. Techno and Wilbur can go with you. That's okay right big man?" I sprinkle in the right words and he looks excited.

"Big man!" He grins. He slides down from the counter before I can stop him. He rushes out the door and creeps over to the two boys.

I follow after him, he suddenly looks very shy. I rest a hand on his shoulder and he swings around with a small weird growl or grunt. I let go immediately and he calms down. He then goes and grabs my pant leg for comfort.

Don't touch him unless he is prepared or he touches you first, noted.

I explain to the two that Tommy needs them to go with him so he can get something. The two immediately agree to doing it and put their swords away.

\--- Wilbur

I offer my hand to the small figure at Phil's hip,

"You'll have to show us the way," I tell him. He looks at my hand like it's poisoned. He reaches out and puts his tiny hands in mine. He is tense, ready to rip it out if my grasp. After nothing happens he settles down.

"You'll be fine with them Tommy," Phil reassures the kid, "they are my smelly sons. Couldn't hurt a fly." Tommy giggles at this statement. It's quiet and shy. It's good to see him clean and looking a little more alive. Technoblade lets out a little huff at Phil's last statement.

But soon enough we are off, Tommy guiding us through the woods skillfully. He then stops suddenly and let's out a small growl at Techno when he steps forward.

He quickly let's go of my hand and grabs a stick. He takes a few steps forward and then throws the stick forward. I watch as a bear trap goes off around the stick.

We almost stepped in that. People can lose a foot to that shit.

"Nice job kid," Techno ruffles his hair and Tommy looks proud of himself. I nod in agreement with Techno and Tommy looks so much more confident. He grabs my hand again and leads again. But this time he isn't as hunched over. He walks with confidence.

Soon enough we get to where Tommy wanted to go. It's a small cave covered by vines. The brush is thick at the bottom but Tommy gets in easily. Techno takes out his sword and cuts the bushes so we can get through.

Tommy glances at the sword wearily but once it's gone he goes back to the object in his hands. He mumbled things that don't sound like words to it.

I glance around his cave. There is a pile of leaves he is sitting on, which I'm guessing is his bed. In the corner it seems like he had a random assortment of things. I crouch down by the pile and find everything from a rusty bear trap, to some bottles of enchantment, and, hey wait-

"Is this one of my guitar picks?" I reach down to grab it. I see Tommy look scared and concerned, "oh no! I don't mind! You probably found it huh?" Tommy nods and holds, what I can now see is a stuffed cow, closely.

Techno let's out a grunt and leans down. I walk over to see what he's look at. It's a stash of food. There is empty jars of honey, rotting berries, and some old uncooked potatoes. Techno stares at the potatoes closely. I hear Tommy's breath hitch. I look back to see him watching us with worried eyes.

"Hey bud, we aren't upset," I smile at him, "we are just glad now you're gonna be eating good food with us." Tommy seems to think over the words before replying with,

"B-Bird man," Tommy replied, very seriously. Techno snorts and I can't help the belly laugh that flows out of me.

"He is a bird man!" I look to Techno and he just nods along, "ready to go little dude?" I know I did something wrong when Tommy's face forms a frown.

"No! Big man! Bigger man!" He points at me, Henry hugged close to him.

"Oh I'm sorry big man! I didn't mean to offend you," I apologise but that doesn't seem to get him to forgive him. He sneaks over to Techno and holds out his hand. Did my newest brother just choose Techno over me? Techno looks at me panicked. He has never been good with kids.

Techno then takes his hand and we are off back to the house.

\--- Technoblade.

When we get home Tommy walks in like he owns the place. But we all already adore him. He is the most confident yet unconfident kid I've ever met.

He walks up to Phil and shows him the stuffed cow. The cow is slightly dirty but seems well taken care of. Phil grins and greats the cow by name. That's a very Phil thing to do.

I go to head to my room when I hear Phil ask Wilbur, "could you work on making a bed for Tommy? We'll have to work on an expansion to the house." He says from his place by the stove.

"So he is officially part of Sleepy Boi's Inc?" I ask.

"I don't know, he seems like he has more energy than all of us combined," Wilbur smirks, looking over to the kid who is now under the living room table. He is whispering gibberish to his stuffed animal. 

"I don't understand how he can still have so much energy. A lot of shit has happened today," I point out. Phil shakes his head,

"Techno! There is a six year old in the room!" He scolds me, pointing the spoon he was using to stir the strew with. I shrug and glance over at the pot. It looks almost done so no point in heading to my room. 

I flop over the back of the couch and flop into the cushions. Tommy flinches from under the coffee table. He lets out a huff and whispers some more gibberish to the cow.

"What you saying to him?" I lean over to look at the cow more. He looks at me with a frown. He opens his mouth to say something but it looks like he can't get the words out.

"Home annna' Heny. An' bird man! An' food!" He explains to me. It kinda makes sense so I nod my head. 

"Yeah we're gonna have to teach him how to talk," Wilber says from behind me. I glance back and he's holding back a smile. This kid really has everyone under his spell, even me.

\--- Phil

Soon enough it's dinner time. I call out to the boys and Wilbur and Techno come over. I wonder this is going to look like.

We all go sit at the table by the kitchen. I wait for Tommy to head over.

"Tommy dinner," I call out to him gently.  
He watches the other two sit down from under the table. He sets Henry down and pats his head. I watch as Tommy sneaks out from under the table. He watches the stuffed cow for a second before deciding it's safe. 

He creeps over to the table and looks at us all weird. I don't sit down yet. I offer my arms to him like I did before. Tommy looks up at Wilbur and Techno. He then huffs at me and decided to try to climb up on the tall chair himself.

I watch to make sure he won't fall, but Tommy makes it up just fine. Tommy gives us all a wild grin. He looks so proud of himself. I sit down in the chair next to him.

I watch him look at the bowl in front of him. I had to made sure not to give him too much. If he eats too much he'll surely be sick. Yet I wanted to make him something that would help put some meat in his bones, so stew it was.

Tommy dips his finger into it and then sucks in his finger. He looks confused as hell. It's probably how he would eat the honey Tubbo would give him now that I think about it.

He looks at Wilbur and Techno who started eating and tries to mirror them. I watch as he grips the spoon clumsily. He dips the spoon in but drops it. The frustration on his face rise and I know I'll have to stop it quickly.

"Tommy," I say to catch his attention. He looks over at me, eyes wet. I take his hand into mine and show him how to properly hold the spoon. It seems familiar to him but he seems lost at the same time.

I help him lower his hand to get a spoonful to eat and we both are able to get it to his mouth for him to have a bite.

After that he gets the hang of it, well mostly. He is a very messy eater. But what can you do? He reminds me a lot of what Technoblade was like as a child.

After dinner I have to find Tommy a new set of clothes and luckily Wilbur was able to finish the bed. When we show Tommy it he curls up in the middle of it with Henry and passes out.

\---- 3rd person

Over the months Tommy stays with them. They have to work around his boundaries that came from him living alone in the woods. Like the many times he's almost bit them. They'll touch him, he'll get startled and try to nip them. So far he hadn't drawn any blood.

They had begun to work with Tommy's english. Normally at Tommy's age a kid would be able to speak sentences. In the morning Techno does flashcards with him. At the evening Wilbur tries to teach him the abc's (which he can not understand at all). Before dinner Phil works on teaching him important words.

They, of course, have ran into some problems with Tommy's survival induced behavior. One big one was Tommy trying to hide food. He of course felt like he was well fed with his family. It's just the need to make sure he has food stored incase be can't "find anything" is still with him.

Phil helps him get out of the habit (mostly). He helps Tommy understand that doing that will let vermins into the house (and not cool ones like him Wilbir added). Tommy doesn't understand it much but tries to follow Phil's instruction. If it's a really stressful week though there will probably be at least one potato in his room.

It was weird for Wilbur and Techno to get use to a younger brother. Sure when Phil brought home Techno it wasn't too big of a surprise. Phil always wanted to help people. But at that time Wilbur and Technoblade where about the same age. Now they have a younger brother.

If they are being honest with themselves they'd do anything for their family. Tommy could easily give the one of them puppy eyes and they'd do whatever he wanted. It was a dangerous power.

Phil adopts to his new son quickly. He truly just wants the best for him. He is teaching Tommy new things every day. Tommy mostly follows Phil around in the day.

Tommy's always had problems with names though. Names that were too long often had to be shortened. He called Wilbur, Wilby. Techno would constantly tease Wilbur for this, but Will held the name with a sense of pride. Tommy simply calls Techno, Tech. It's not as cute as Wilbur's name but he'll take it.

Now he started off calling Phil bird man, but now Phil is just Dad. After hearing the other two call him it, he just went for it. When it happened Phil could help the tears and smile. He bent down to Tommy's level and asked again what he said. Tommy said it loudly as usual and bounced on his feet. Phil couldn't help to happy laughs and the gentle hug.

\--- Phil

Today was a normal day. We were all going chores around the farm or house when I heard Tommy scream.

"Fuck! No! No! Bad touch! Fuck you! No! No no no! Bad touch! Fuck you die! No! No!" I quickly run into the woods towards the sounds. I can hear footsteps behind me. I glance back at the boys and they look just as worried.

"No! No! No no no!" You can tell Tommy is crying now. He sounds terrified, but he sounds close. He ends up in a clearing with two people he doesn't know, one looking familiar though. Tommy is in a random man's arms. He is squirming and crying. 

Upon seeing me, Tommy bites the guys arm. The guy let's out a yelp and drops Tommy who immediately runs into my arms. I scoop him up, holding him tightly. Tommy immediately buries his head into my chest. I feel a pang of anger towards the people that grabbed him. Who does that to a kid?

"What the hell is going on here?" I can't help when my voice shakes. I press my hand to the back of Tommy's hair, smoothing it over.

"That's Tommy Innit, he went missing from the SMP Orphanage a year ago. I'm surprised he is okay," the woman next to the man explains. I can feel her look over all of us.

"I found him starving to death a while ago. But how does a kid run away so young?" I question them. If Tommy was able to run away at the age of five and not be found, then how bad was this orphanage. SMPream Orphanage, why does that sound familiar.

"We thought he was kidnapped," as she tells us this I look at Tommy. What had he actually gone through? It's a mystery and even if he did remember, what would he say? 

"Wait aren't you Philza Minecraft?" She suddenly asks. I look up at her again and frown. She does looks familiar. Then another idea seems to flash in her head, "you must be Wilbur Soot then!" Wilbur lets out a hum of acknowledgment. None of us want to have to deal with this.

Wait wasn't Wilbur from the SMP Orphanage?

Tommy squirms in my arms, adjusting so he can whisper to me,

"They bad touch!" He whispers loudly. He looks back at them, mostly the guy. He whispers some more babbling to me but then he says, "he's a bitch." Techno bursts out laughing and Will is close behind. 

"No no no no, Tommy, bad word. We don't say that," I scold him gently. He just shoves his face in my neck.

"Wow, you really got him under control," the man speaks up, "I don't know why he bit me though." The woman besides him speaks up,

"Well he was labeled one of the problem kids." I hear Tommy whine at the words.

"Wait a second, a problem kid? He isn't a problem kid. He's been with us for a while and hasn't done anything," Wilbur speaks up. He looks pretty angry about what they are saying about his brother. "The only issues we've seen is because no one taught a, what, five year old how to speak!" He glares at them. The woman's eyes widen like he caught them.

"He always struggled but his behavior was horrific. But there is no point discussing this. We need to bring him back. Legally he is in our care," she explains to us. I hold the kid tighter in my arms and I hear Techno huff in anger.

"I'll officially adopt him. I already have the two other kids I brought in. There should be nothing stopping me," I point out, "besides, do you really think Tommy would do well anywhere else but here?" I watch her eyes land on the boy in my arms. 

It seems like Tommy can feel there eyes on him. He reaches up and grabs my bucket hat. He takes it and uses it to hide his face. I don't mind it. Tommy has always had a habit to hide himself when nervous.

"I mean, with your adoption of the other two, you are trust worthy," the woman points out. I still don't know either of their names but I really don't care. "All we need is the paperwork."

\---

So we set off to the orphanage. Techno and Wilbur insisted on coming. It's a good thing because once we got there Tommy started freaking out. It's like a switch in his head flipped. When we sees the front doors to the place he tries to take off running.

Techno was able to grab him before he could get far. He wraps his arms around Tommy and pulls him close.

But we all failed to think about Tommy's defense to these things. He immediately bites on the arm closest to his face. Techno curses and let's go. From a quick glance I can see he drew blood. Then Tommy then takes off running.

I quickly follow after him and find him hiding under the slide around the back. Luckily there is no other kids outside at the moment. He looks terrifed.

I crouch down to his level and I can see the tears streaming down his face. I sit down besides the slide, not wanting him to take off running again.

"I know your scared bud, but we aren't getting rid of you. You're my son, I could never get rid of you," I tell him and watch him carefully. He sobs but stays where he is. "I know your scared but you got me and your brothers to keep you safe. We won't let anything happen." 

I listen to him when he cries mostly nonsense, I'm able to make out a few words though. "Annna' mean! Hungy an' mean! Tommy bad!" He is able to say between the gibberish and sobs.

"Tommy your a good kid. We will not leave you here buddy. I promise you. After we do this we are gonna go home. We can get some lunch when we get home and you can even have some hot chocolate. How does that sound?"

"Choco," he mumbles he watches me for a couple more seconds then crawls into my lap. He looks so tired and defeated. I wipe away his tears, but they don't stop falling. 

"Yeah, I know you like hot chocolate," I push his hair back gently. I need to brush through it when we get home. Maybe even cut it? It's getting getting long. When we first found him his hair was almost to his shoulders. After a while of him pulling it and itching, I got him to let me cut it.

I lean and rest my head in stop of his, "now Tommy, I have to go inside. But either we all go in or you stay out here with Wilber and Techno." Tommy pushed himself farther into me, so I guess I got my answer.

After a while of sitting there letting him cry into me I start to stand up.  
"When did you learn to swear by the way?" I ask, still carrying him. I would rather have my arms get tired from carrying him then have him run off.

Tommy just snickers at my question. 

When we get inside the other kids around whisper.

"Who is that?"

"Isn't that Tommy?"

"I thought they said he was dead?"

"Oh, he didn't die."

"Does he have to come back?"

"Did he get adopted?"

"Are they returning him?"

The amount of kids that seems to know him is surprising. The thought of leaving him here with all these kids makes me uncomfortable. 

Tommy notices a certain kid and sticks his tongue out at them. The kid stares at us. The kid looks like he knows something everyone doesn't. I head the way the woman from earlier guides us. Wilbur looks on edge being back here and Techno seems to be keeping an eye on his brothers.

We enter an office and the Lady in the chair in front of us tells us to sit down.  
I sit in the middle seat, the other two opting to sit by the door.

Tommy glances at the older woman and I feel him stiffen. We do introductions quick and get right into it.

"So, how did you come about an orphan that disappeared over a year ago?" Miss. Ziff starts.

"We found him a couple months ago in the woods. He was covered in dirt, fleas and was acting like a wild animal. We couldn't leave him out there, he was starving to death," I answer her.

"And why didn't you bring him back?"

"To be honest I feared where he came from. He was starving and dirty. He can't talk or read. Not to mention that when people touch him he would bite them. I mean, upon seeing this place he ran. He even bit someone he sees as his brother," I can't help the anger that seeps out of my voice. I stop from yelling in hope it would keep Tommy calm.

"We believe he was kidnapped. He probably had phycological problems from it," she answers.

"That's bullshit," Techno speaks up.

"Excuse me?" Ziff looks very offended at his words. I look back at him, raising my eyebrows.

"What six year old can barely talk? I mean, I met a kid who said Tommy had been surviving out in the woods for however long. He's obviously smart. But if he left around five he should of been able to speak," Techno explains to her. His voice is as blank as usual. I check up on Wilbur and he looks uncomfortable. I make eye contact with him and he nods at me, telling me he's okay.

Tommy then looks at Miss. Ziff who smiles at him. He frowns and looks confused. He reaches up and grabs my hat. I let him put it on his own head and he gives me a shaky grin. I smile at him and watch his grin fade.

"Look, maybe trauma from the kidnapping did it, I don't-"

"Trauma from your orphanage," Wilbur finished for Techno. Miss Ziff let's out a long sigh and pinches between the bridge of her nose.

"You know what. Let's just get the legal papers so you can adopt him. We can't handle to have him back again, this place is already full," she says reaching into her drawers. She looks like she just doesn't want to deal with this anymore.

Wilbur looks at me and gets up. He nods at me and leaves. I don't know what he's going to go do but I trust him.

I feel Tommy adjust and pull me down so he can whisper to me. This time it's an actual whisper, "Zif meanie." I nod but he pulls me back down so he can say more, "an' Tommy go. Zif meanie," he explains. Is he saying she was mean and left or he wants to leave now?

"You want to go?" I ask him gently and he just shoves his face into my shirt and holds me tighter. I guess it was the first option. So he did run away, at the age of five. How bad was it that a kid that young felt the need to run away?

\--- Wilbur

Once I step out of the office I go looking for the kid I saw earlier. He was the one that Tommy seemed to recognize. He was older and if anyone knew what happened to Tommy, it might be him. It seemed like none of the grown-ups where going to tell us what happened.

I soon find him and walk over to him. Once I am in front of him he looks nervous.

I crouch down to talk to him,

"Hey I'm Wilbur," I introduce myself, "I think you know what happened to my brother Tommy." I get straight to the point. 

"Why should I tell you anything?" The kid has a facade of anger hiding the fear and anxiety under it. I sigh,

"Because then you'll have to live with what you knew he went through, but held back the information to get him proper help." The kid looks immediately guilty. I can see a bit of myself in this kid.

"Uh.. so everyone was mean to him. He was annoying and loud and even the staff didn't like him! So we would, um, you know. We would push him around and we weren't the nicest. And I guess eventually he didn't leave his room? I never saw him come down for dinner anymore." The kid stops to think for a moment. I motions for him to go one.

"I mean, Miss. Ziff didn't even like him. He got the closet room even, and that's for the bad kids. But one day I watched him leave. He slipped out the door and a couple of weeks later the staff said he was dead," the kid sighs. "I didn't mean to be mean to him. I was just a kid."

"Still are. Thanks buddy," I stand up, "now we can actually help him."

\--- Phil 

On the way home Tommy ends up passed out with Techno holding him. Wilbur explains what he had heard from the kid and it makes me feel sick. The fact that they isolated a child makes me wish the place was burned to the ground.

Tommy is still wearing my hat but I don't mind. 

After an hour horse ride we are back at our place in the forest. Techno easily carries Tommy inside and sets him on the couch. I head to the kitchen to start in lunch. Techno is soon back outside working on his potato farm.

Once I start heating up the milk Tommy is by my side. He is on his tippy toes to look over the counter at what I'm making.

Like usual I hold out my arms to him and he accepts being lifted up. He watches over the stove, hands tucked in his lap.

I remember one of the first times we would do this he tried to stick his hand on the stove. Now he has to have his hands in his lap to make sure he doesn't try and grab or touch anything dangerous.

I smile and hand him a small slice of cheese. I decided to just make some sandwiches, today being tiring. Tommy hums and nibbles on it. He is weirdly quiet. It makes sense though, today was a lot for him. 

When I'm finished I plate everything and call Techno inside. It looks like it's going to rain tonight.

Everyone is settled at the table (Tommy chose to let me help him into his chair today). Everything is nice. Tommy sipping on his hot chocolate happily. Techno is picking off certain things in his sandwich that be decided wasn't what be wanted today. Wilbur is just tiredly chewing.

Afterwards we all end up in the couch to nap. The stress of the day draining all of us down.

\--- 

I wake up hearing my door creak open. I grunt and sit up a bit. I look and see crying blue eyes staring at me from the foot of my bed.

I can hear his bad attempts to keep quiet. His sniffling and choking back cries hurts.

"Big man? Did the storm wake you up?" I ask him gently, sitting up. Once I sit up Tommy backs away. I hum softly, "you wanna come up on the bed? It's comfy and I'll even let you use the soft blanket." With the mention of a blanket Tommy immediately hops up on the bed. Once he gets close enough I wrap him in the blanket and pull him towards me. Surprising he doesn't mind me touching him without a warning.

In fact he snuggled up close to me. I hug my youngest son close to my chest and start to doze off. When Tommy speaks up it snaps me out if it,

"Tommy bad?" His question is so genuine it hurts.

"No, your a good kid," I rest my head on his. 

"Tommy bad," he sighs, he sounds so sad and sure that's how it is.

"Son, you aren't bad. Anyone who thinks you are is crazy. We love having you here with us," I comb my hand through his hair. He looks up at me with teary eyes,

"Orfan bad tommy. Innit bad. Mad at me. An- an say... Say... No one want.. want-" he tries to tell me but starts to sob. I hold him closer and guide his head to my chest. I feel his tiny hands clutch onto my shirt desperately. I'm surprised he was able to say that much. Tommy isn't one for words. I wish this wasn't the longest thing he said. I wish I could take all the hurt away.

"No Tommy, your not bad at all. And now you're with us. Your part of our family. You're my son, before you even knew it. We found you stealing our potatoes and you where then my son. Now your all ours buddy, they can't get you now." I rub his back, feeling his ribs still slightly poking out. He cries into my shirt and I hear him mumble a couple of "Dads." 

"Yeah, I'm your Dad and your my son. Nothing will ever change that. You're with us now." I then look up to meet my oldest sons eyes at the door. He seems to be begging to do something for Tommy. I already know that we've all gotten attached to this little fucker.

So I mouth "Henry" at him and he scurries off to go find Tommy's beloved stuffed animal.

When Wilbur comes back Techno is with him. Techno looks tired but upon hearing Tommy crying he seems to wake up more. Wilbur creeps in and kneels by the bed.

"Tommy," he says softy, "I brought Henry for you." Hearing this Tommy looks up, snot nosed and everything. He holds out his arms for Henry. Wilbur hands over the cow and Tommy holds the cow closely. When Wilbur starts to move his hand away Tommy grabs his sweater. 

Wilbur looks so confused and Tommy just tugs in it. Tommy sniffled and tugs on it again. Wilbur questioningly sits on the bed. Tommy seems a little satisfied but not completely. He looks at the door way and huffs.

I smile and motion for Techno to come over. Techno awkwardly shuffles over.

Tommy proceeds to get them all in the bed. He doesn't look satisfied. I think for a moment and then say,

"You two remember when you where little and would sneak into my bed at night? Wilbur you always said there was a ghost." Techno snorts at that and I raise an eyebrow, "Techno you where scared of a witch coming into your room at night."

Tommy doesn't seem to understand out conversation but he grumbles at us.

"What do you want big man?" Techno asks, ready to aid him. Tommy looks at him liked he's stupid. So the little dude squirms out of the blankets a bit to push Techno's shoulders down.

"Techie," is all he says. We don't get it tell within the babbling we hear a, "stay!" It melts my heart. The thought of him being sad and wanting us all here with him.

"Looks like it's a night in Phil's bed," Wilbur grins, "like when we were kids."

"I'll go grab more blankets," Techno stands. Seeing this Tommy starts to whine and squirm. I gently hush him,

"He'll be right back kiddo." Tommy settled down a little bit but keeps his eyes on the door. "Soon we won't all fit in my bed. Bloody hell you guys are growing like trees," I comment, my other two sons are very quickly growing taller than me. 

"Just because your short dad doesn't-" Wilbur starts but is cut off by Tommy.

"Hell?" He frowns at the new word, eyes still locked in the door.

"Damn it! Not another one. He's already swearing like a sailor."

"Damn it!" Tommy turns to us and grins. Wilbur holds back his laughter,

"Tommy those are bad words!" I watch my son snicker and try to look serious. He really did grow up fast.

"Fuck? No no? Bad touch... Bad word?" He seems to be slowly stringing together his words. 

"Yeah bad word buddy. Especially the first one," I lean in to wipe some of his drying tears off his face. He leans against my hands and soon Techno returns with a bunch of blankets.

Soon enough we are all curled up together, Tommy in the middle. He looks content and happy. He finally falls back asleep.

While I'm drifting off I hear Techno say to me,

"Love you guys." That's a special one to hear from the infamous Technoblade.

"Aw, love you all too," Wilbur teasingly says, yawning. 

"Love.." Tommy mumbles, eyes opening for a second and he's out again. I pull him a little closer.

"Love you all. Sleep well."

And we all fall asleep, together and safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling that's wrong, I wanted to get this out.  
> But thank you for the comments, likes and bookmarks! I'm glad to see that people liked the first one shot.


	3. A Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of angst from The Revolution  
> Philza and Tommy get into an argument.

"What do you mean you might join Techno," I look at my father, feeling sick.

"He needs someone on his side. And, well, I kinda agree with him mate. Another government when each one you have fails?" He gives me a look I don't understand. Like I'm a kid again.

I take a deep breath and shake my head at him.

"So first you kill Wilber and now are joining a terrorists side. Your betraying your son's left and right."

"Tommy-"

"No, let me speak. I have always fucking known Techno was your favorite. First you kill Wilbur and now your joining Techno? What's next Philza Minecraft? Are you going to kill me next?" I hold back a sob. Tommyinnit doesn't cry.

"Tommy, it's not like that-"

"Do you think Tubbo will be that bad of a president? L'manburg is already looking better. Do you really think Tubbo will become corrupt?"

"Tommy listen-"

"Let me speak! You're going to leave me for someone who killed my best friend."

"Tommy it isn't like that."

"Stop trying to be my fucking Dad if you don't act like it."

"You don't mean that."

"Philza, Techno sent Withers after me. And you're going to join him. You don't deserve the right to be my fucking Dad anymore."


	4. Just Traveling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy leaves after he almost get exiled from L'manburg.

When I get home I make sure to not slam the door like usual. Phil greets me but I just mumble a hi and head up to my room.

I close the door and make sure it's locked. I don't want to deal with people right now. Well I guess I'd only have to deal with Phil. Wilbur can just walk through my walls and Techno is out doing whatever he does.

Today was hard. I was out on trail for burning down George's house. Which it would of been fair if it was for robbing but I didn't burn the place down. Or at least I didn't mean to.

Now I can handle anything. I'm big man Tommy.

It just hurts when you get publicly humiliated in front of everyone. Being trapped is one of the things I hate most.

What's sticking with me is what all the other cabinet members were talking about. I need to be responsible. I shouldn't start wars.

L'manburg would be better off without me.

I'm always causing the trouble. I was selling drugs that started the original war. I tried to help Wilbur rig the election. I helped over take Schlatts rule. Now that L'manburg is back and looking better, I'm just making things worse.

I hear a knock on my door,

"You good mate?" Phil asks. Phil honestly has done so much good for L'manburg. He can take my spot. Everyone loves Philza Minecraft.

"Yeah, don't worry! Just tired," I call back to him. I wait tell I hear his foot steps, walking away to do anything. I grab my old backpack out. The one from when I originally moved here with Wilbur. I haven't used it in so long. There was no time when we got banned originally.

I start to pack things that are important to me into it. Some tools and valuables, my last disk, some gifts I've gotten over the years.

I can only carry so much with me so I make sure to pack light.

My actions have consequences huh? Well... Not anymore. I'm done. Who gives a shit if I'm vice president. They think I'm going to start more wars? Dream started them with the disks. I'll never get them back.

"What are you doing?" I hear the horse voice of my older brother.

"Hey Ghostbur," I sigh and turn around. He looks tired, but now that he's dead he always looks tired.

"Tommy where are you going?" He looks at my bag, I think he spotted the disks.

"No idea big man," I chuckle and sling my bag over my shoulder, "I'll figure it out as I go."

"You're going to travel?" He's so much more naive as a ghost. He's not the Wilbur I knew. He's just the good bits. I wish I had old Wilbur back. What Wilbur was like before we moved.

"Yeah, kinda," I open my window and look out at L'manburg. It's doing so much better. Why not let it get better? I'm a horrible vice president. I slip out onto the roof. I kinda wish I didn't move in with Phil. It would make leaving a lot easier. "I hope your trip goes well!" Wilbur calls after me as I leave.

\--- 3rd 

No one notices for a while when Tommy leaves. Some even see it as a blessing that he hasn't shown his face.

After a couple days Phil gets concerned. Sure he's always done what he wants but he isn't responding to anyone over the intercoms.

Tubbo only notices when Fundy comes to him saying Tommy hasn't reported to him. They both go to Phil's house only to find out Phil had no idea where he is. They go to Tommy's old house and find the place is still abounded. They even check Pogtopia, the place is just a mess of buttons.

Tubbo : Tommy where are you? Tubbo finally messages him. There is no response.

Tubbo : Dude stop being an asshole. Where are you?

Tubbo : Seriously

Tubbo : You can't just disappear because you did something wrong and we got angry.

When Dream hears he's disappeared he doesn't care. He'll show up eventually right? Tommy isn't one to give up.

George feels guilty and sends him a message.

Georgenotfound : Hey I know you didn't mean to burn down my roof. I forgive you. Just come back. Please

Most people keep doing what they usually do. Tommy wouldn't leave. It's Tommy, he's probably out fucking around like usual.

Then Fundy mentions it to Wilbur. He frowns at him,

"Gone missing? No, he went out on a trip!" The ghost tells him, looking through his small library. Fundy feels his breath get caught in his throat.

"Did he say he was going on a trip?"

"Oh! I saw him leave! He said he was going to travel," Wilbur stops to think for a moment, "said he didn't know where he was going though."

"Wilbur, you where the last person to see him. Do you have any idea what's actually happening? He burned George's house and then left. We had to put him on trail."

"Oh," Wilbur frowns, obviously thinking. His little brother did seem upset that night. He did have that sad look when he looked back at Wilbur once he made it to the ground. "He did look sad when he waved goodbye to me. And he took his stuff," Wilbur trails off. 

Fundy frowns, Tommy ran away. He had to of ran away, right? He isn't going to come back is he? Fundy sighs and pulls out his communicator.

ItsFundy : Guys, I think Tommy ran away.

Tubbo : What do you mean he ran away?

Fundy : Wilbur was the last to see him. He took everything of his.

Ph1LzA : shit

Ph1LzA : I'm going to message Techno.

Ph1LzA : I told you something was wrong

Phil messages Techno hoping he's heard from Tommy but he just gets a, "haven't seen him."

Phil feels panicked. None of them have ever ran away before. He tries to message Tommy again.

Ph1LzA : where did you go?

Ph1LzA : are you okay?

Ph1LzA : please just tell me your okay.

He doesn't get a message back.

\--- Tommy

I watch as the finally figure it out. It took them a week to figure out I left. I look at Phil's messages and just sigh. 

He can have Tubbo as a son. He's smart and successful. He's funny and can fill in for me. 

At least he's not as annoying as me.

Fuck L'manburg.

Technoblade : hey, where the fuck are you?

Technoblade : Phil is worried

Technoblade : I know your reading this. Just fucking say something.

Huh, he swore. Techno doesn't swear much anymore, he's serious. Whatever, let him be angry.

Wilbur Soot : I thought you where just traveling

Wilbur Soot : Dad's worried

Wilbur Soot : please don't make him lose another son.

I choke back tears reading that. I almost go and message Phil but decided against it. They will get over it. They can be happy and live in peace again.

Technoblade : I'm serious. Tommy where are you

Tubbo : tommy where are yoi

Tubbo : your my best fjrne

Tubbo : plese

Tubbo : where are you

Tubbo : you cant just leave

Tubbo : we need you here your vice preident

I sigh and type back

Tommyinnit : not anymore

Tubbo : wtf are you talking about

Tubbo : please j need u

I watch the global chat

Tubbo : tommy resonded to me he is okay

ItsFundy : where is he?

Ph1LzA : tommy respond to me

Wilbur Soot : tommy come back

Technoblade : I knew you saw them

Tubbo : he says he's not vice pres anymore. Meet me at whitehouse

I set down my communicator. Just seeing it hurts. Before I can think logically I take a stone from the ground of the cave I've settled in. I raise it up and smash the communicator. It's over. I look down at the pieces and sob.

The next day when I leave the cave I leave it there. I need to get farther away.

I travel for a couple days. The nights are cold and the days are warm. 

Crossing this snow biome hurts. The cold nips at my hands. They hurt and feel prickly. I keep walking and see a snow village.

Shit I need to get out of here. I turn and walk to the right of it. The faster I can get away from here the better.

I heard from Phil that Techno was settled in a snow village. I can't have Techno finding me. He shouldn't have to deal with me.

Once I get far enough away, to the next biome over I decide to rest. I make a small place in a tree and settle for the night.

\--- Techno

I frown when I see footprints by the village. They are too far away to be a villagers and they aren't mine. I search around a bit and find a red piece of fabric. I dig it out of the snow and stop. I roll it over in my hands. Yep, this is definitely Tommy's bandana. I quickly search around the immediate area and village.

I sigh and head back to my base.

Technoblade : Technoblade

Technoblade : but seriously I found Tommy's bandana

Tubbo : is he okay?

Technoblade : found the bandana not tommy.

Ph1LzA : I'm going to come out there and see if I can find him

Dream : I checked and his communicator is broken. It isn't active.

Tubbo : what if he's hurt?

Ph1LzA : I'm taking the nether portal way, Techno expect me soon

ItsFundy : what has the child gotten himself into

Quackity : this is getting concerning

Quackity : it's been weeks since we've heard from him

Quackity : who is going to run the cartel with me

Badboyhalo : do you want skeppy and me to go looking?

Technoblade : me and Phil are going to look

Wilbur Soot : I'm coming too. Be there soon.

I sigh and settle back against the farthest wall. His footprints lead away from the village so he probably left. Does he know I live here? Did he purposely break his communicator?

\--- Phil

I walk through the secret nether path I made to Techno.

"Wait up!" I hear the scratchy voice of my oldest call after me. I slowly down so he can catch up. Soon we are back to the hurried pace.

"Wilbur, did he say anything else that night you saw him last?" I finally speak up. Sure I'm on Techno's side but Tommy running away has hurt me. I refuse to let them destroy his old house. Some of them are trying to move on, but I can't. They kept the caravan from so long ago, why do they have to act like Tommy is just gone? He isn't dead. Even if he was, Wilbur is still here even after death.

"He just said he didn't know where he was going. Phil I'm sorry I didn't stop him. I thought he would be back. He's never left before," I hear Wilbur's voice crack. I turn and see golden tears running down his face.

"I get it Ghostbur don't worry. We'll find him."

After a while of walking we get there. We meet up with Techno and he shows me the bandana. I hold it in my hands, running my hands over his name that I embroidered. He's had this since he was a kid. The fact he doesn't have it on him makes my chest clench. He never liked not having it.

"Phil the foot prints lead this way," Techno motions us to follow him and we head out. We travel for a while tell we get to a oak forest. Techno and Ghostbur handle the mobs easily. Ghostbur distracting them while Techno kills them. I call out Tommy's name but don't get a response.

\--- Tommy

I wake up hearing people calling my name. I sit up quickly and put out the torch I had to keep the monsters at bay.

I sit and listen to Phil desperately calling out my name. He sounds so sad. The message Will sent me rings through my mind.

Don't make him lose another son.

They don't deserve to have to deal with me. I just ruin everything. I started the wars. Before I came here there wasn't any wars. I messed up all their lives. I came in and infected them.

"Tommy! I know you're here somewhere! We found your bandana!" I hear Techno yell out. I freeze and go to grab where it last was. Fuck, no. My bandana, I need it.

I bite my tongue tell it bleeds, holding back sobs. I need it, the only way to get it back would be to see them. It's the last piece of comfort I had. Running my fingers over my name always helped me calm down. It reminded me of when we where younger and things where good.

I just want things to be okay again. 

I freeze hearing leaves crunch from somewhere near by.

Shit I need to be quiet. They'll find me. I hold my breath when I hear them call out for me; they are way to close. If I were to run Techno would easily catch me. Fuck what if L'manburg imprisoned me? I broke probation.

I can't go back. That would be so shameful.

"Tommy! Please!" I hear Phil's voice crack and he sobs. It's a broken plea. He's practically under the tree I'm in. I hear Techno go up to him, his boots making him loud.

I hear Wilbur whispering to Phil. I hear Phil sniffle and call again. 

I wish I could comfort him.

They walk away from my hiding place. I wait tell their calls are distant and start to pack my things. I slowly climb down the tree. I head in north while the others are traveling east. Techno's place is back west so they shouldn't head this way. Unless they hear me.

I pick up the pace and hope they just think I'm another monster. I dodge my way around mobs and then when I'm far enough that their calls are distant I break into a sprint. I want as much distance between them.

I hold back the tears at the thought of my bandana. I really don't want to leave it behind but I don't have any other options.

"Tommy?" I hear a low call that sounds closer than before, Wilbur. I break out into a sprint, quickly climbing up a small hill. "Guys! I think I hear him!" The hope in his voice hurts my soul. I run despite my lungs telling me to stop. 

Soon I hear Techno's heavy boots and Phil's wings. Shit I'm screwed. I need to find a place to hide.

Then I fall into a cave. I feel my ankle screaming at me when I stand again. I force myself deeper into the cave but reach a dead end.

Fuck, I'm screwed.

"Tommy?" I hear Phil's voice from the entrance. The panic is interrupted by a hissing noise. Before I can register what it is I feel it. I fall into the rubble and can't get up. 

It would be better if it just killed me. I can't go back. Wait what, no. I don't want to die. I don't.

Soon I'm pulled into a familiar person's chest. I try and push away but the person holds me tightly.

"Hey, hey, I got you. You're okay. You'll be okay. It'll be okay bud, I got you." I feel a familiar fabric being pushed into my hands and I hold it close to me. I break down in sobs. I can't breathe. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to die. I'm going to die and that'll be okay. Then I won't have to see them. At least they won't have to deal with me. Maybe when Tubbo pulled that damn leaver I should of died in the lava.

"Tommy breathe," I hear Wilbur say. He's always had a way of brings so reassuring. His words commanding and it makes you wanna listen. 

I gasp and trying and get s breath in. It's not working.

"Can't! I can't," I choke and try and push way again. Phil holds me a bit tighter, like I'm going to disappear.

\--- Phil

I hold my youngest son close to me. Its like I can't let him go or he'll disappear. Wilbur is besides me, trying to help him through his panic attack.

His words break my heart. Seeing him so disheveled. He's a lot thinner than when he left. I can feel the bumps of his spine. I hush him and push his head to my chest. His tall frame hunched over, he seems so frail. I wrap my wings around him. I feel him clutch my shirt and sob against me. 

"We got you. It's going to be okay," I tell him and place my head on top of his. His movement stills. His breathing is ragged but a bit slowly. I look down at him so see his eyes pressed shut. He passed out.

"Let's get him back to my place," Techno says from behind me. "I can fix up his wounds then.

I'm hesitant to let go of him, like he might disappear if I do.

We slowly help Techno put him on his back, to carry him home. Before we leave the cave I pick up Tommy's bandana. 

When we get back to Techno's base Tommy is on the bed and Techno is going through his chests for healing potions. His ankle is in a weird position and the creeper has left open wounds on him. His favorite baseball tea getting stained with blood.

When techno starts to tend to hid wounds and he stirs I press his bandana into his hand. He seems to settle. Wilbur his behind him, he looks sad.

Sad isn't something Wilbur feels often anymore after he died.

He seems to keep his hand on Tommy's head. He's not one for touch since he died. Now that people will sometimes faze through him he's been more distant.

When Techno has to lift Tommy's shirt we see more of the damage. His ribs are bruised, one so dark it has to be broken. There is scratched and open wounds from the creeper explosion I heard.

Tommy looks just as weak as when I first found him. He whimpers when Techno pours the healing potion directly on the wounds. The bruising looking better and the cuts stopped bleeding. 

That night we all sleep around and on the bed.

\--- Tommy

I wake up feeling confused. I was in a tree right? Why is it so soft? I slowly realize there is a hand in my hair and someone's weight on my legs. 

I slowly open my eyes and find my family surrounding me. Fuck, I got caught. Memories of last night come flooding back. The running, the creeper, the fact I would rather die then go back to L'manburg.

They all look so peaceful. The Blade looks so much more harmless while he's asleep. I start to sit up but Techno stirs and his eyes flick open. We look at each other for a bit before he speaks up,

"What happened to your communicator?" His voice is more raspy from sleep.

"I broke it," I answer quietly, not wanting to disturb them.

"Yeah but how?"

"Smashed it to pieces with a rock."

"Tommy what the fuck." I look away from him, feeling guilty. They weren't supposed to find me. I was supposed to just disappear. "Bruh, they've been worried sick."

"I... I know."

"Techno don't scold the child before we can all even wake up," Wilbur grumbles next to me and shoves himself farther against me. Phil stirs a bit and his hand on my head seems to relax at the fact he can still feel me.

"What exactly happened Tommy? You've never ran away from a fight," Techno asks me, clearly ignoring what Wilber said. I just shrug,

"They didn't want me there anyways. There first idea was to banish me. Being exiled again wasn't what I was going for." I watch as Techno's face turns to a frown. "Said since I was vice pres I was going to start a war. Dream can do whatever he wants, but I can't. Because I was vice president." I sigh, rubbing my finger against the fabric of my bandana.

"Told you government sucks."

"Ha! I should of listened. Tubbo was ready to throw me out. I didn't see the point in it so I left." I decide to leave out the parts of them constantly telling me to just be quiet. Or the points of being just a nuisance to people. But Techno seems to pick up on these unspoken words.

"You're welcome to stay here if you want. It's away from all the drama of L'manburg," he offers. But I can't say yes.

"Techno," I take a deep breath, "I honestly just want to go home. Not L'manburg, just," I pause. Am I really going to whine like a little kid about being homesick? I mean, I was honestly going to camp back at our old childhood home. That's where I was heading in the first place. "I just want to go home." I decide to leave it at that.

I feel Phil's hand scratch my head slightly. The touch is nice.

"So your saying we should just ditch and go home right?" Ghostbur speaks up again, "I'm tired of people telling me I destroyed everything." I wonder if there is a way to bring Wilbur back? So he can be himself again and not a ghost of his former self.

"We should go home," Phil speaks up. I glance at him and scooch over so there is room for him to sit on the bed. Wilbur grumbles a little bit but readjusts himself

"You guys let an old man sleep on the floor? Shame on you," I grin and Techno jabs one of the bruises on my leg. I grunt and kick him with the foot that isn't rapped up. Phil climbs up and wraps an arm around me. I lean against him. I missed them all while I was away.

"Tommy, if you ever run away again I'm going to take away your feet. They'll just be gone," he mumbles so only I can hear. I laugh, trying to ignore the pain that comes from it.

"Well, big man in my defense, they where planning on kicking me out anyways." I watch Phil frown and pull out his communicator.

Ph1LzA : found tommy. He's safe

Tubbo : wooo! Is he coming back? I miss him

Phil looks at me and hands me it. I sigh and start typing.

Ph1LzA : hey tommy here. Probably not. You can visit but I cant come back. 

Tubbo : why

Damn that was hard to answer and open ended. 

Ph1LzA : I'll just cause more trouble then you need over there big man

Ph1LzA : besides, one wrong move and I was out anyways. I just sped up 

I hand Phil the communicator back. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I lean farther into Phil. I need to figure out what I'm going to do next. I'll probably continue my travels back home and send the others back to the home they made.

I'm the youngest but they shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes. 

"Wait, I need to say something to Dream," I hold my hand out for the communicator. It's handed back to me.

Ph1LzA : hey, this is Tommy. I'm leaving the smp and L'manburg. Keep the fucking disks I guess. Just had to say one last thing. Fuck you

"Okay I'm done again," Techno snorts at my message. The disks mean so much for me but I don't think I'll ever get them back.

For as long as I can remember Dreams been against me. He can do whatever he wants and get away with it. I make one mistake and they all want me exiled again.

"Am I really that annoying that no one wants me around?" I finally ask what's on my mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO! This will have a part two! I have a bunch of different Oneshots planned and started. I just need to finish them.
> 
> Most of these Oneshots are Tommy centric because.... I JUST- TOMMY ANGST.
> 
> But a Tubbo chapter is coming up :D


	5. It was never meant to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy follows his oldest brothers steps. It was never meant to be.
> 
> Tw suicide and death

"Tommy, step away from the button," I turn to see Phil. I told him to get out of here. I told him Technoblade wanted him and that he had to go.

"Phil?" I keep my hand near the button. It's safety.

"Tommy you don't have to do this," he takes a step forward. It makes my hand twitch and almost hit the button.

"I told you to leave."

"I knew you where lying. I'm not stupid."

"I have to do this," I shake my head. They kicked me out. They all deserve this. I have always fought, even to the point of death, and they just threw me away. They told me to shut up, be quiet. He gave my disc to Dream.

"You want to be like Wilbur Tommy?"

"I'm finishing it. I understand them now. Techno said government would ruin it and he was right. Wilbur was right to want this place gone. It'll never be our L'manburg!" I watch my father look more and more anxious. I guess the last time he tried this it didn't work. He ended up killing Wilbur. Is he going to kill me too? I kind of hope it'll all just end.

"Tommy you've gone mad. What about Tubbo? All your friends here? They don't deserve to die."

"They got rid of me Dad! That's what always happens isn't it?" I shout at him, "Tubbo tried to kill me. He pulled the lever! He made his choice. And for the rest of them, why would they be my friends? They let me get kicked out. I had no where to go. They left me."

"Tommy-"

"No listen to me! I won't be quiet! No one can tell me to be quiet anymore!" I clench my jaw, my hands are shaking.

They all chose to leave me.

"Tommy, why don't we go to Techno's? I'll make hot chocolate for you like when you where younger. I can't lose another son Tommy," he pulls his bucket hat off his head, holding it to his chest. He goes to take a step forward but I interrupt him,

"No! Don't you take a step forward! You'll kill me just like you did Will! I'm not letting you fuck this up for me!" I pull out my crossbow and point it at him. It shakes along with my hands.

"Tommy, you don't need to be the villain."

"Villain? Oh I'm not the villain Phil! I'm just finally putting a stop to it! All of it needs to stop! It's the only way to fix it. If I'm going down it's going down with me." I briefly think about my discs. If I'm going to hell there is no point in my caring about them. Despite this I say, "Phil, when I die I want you to have the discs. Dream will have to give them to you then. I mean, what monster would do that to a father who lost two of his sons! I know Wilbur will be more missed but-"

"Tommy shut up! You matter just as much as Wilbur and Techno. You are my son and even if you press that button it doesn't change that. Now Tommy, you don't need to do this. We can go home. I'll go with you. We'll fix this," Phil practically begs. I can see the tears in his eyes. It makes my own eyes water

\- Option one -

"I'm tired Phil. I'm tired of it all. I just want to be happy again. I just want to go home and have people actually give a fuck," I lower my crossbow slightly. "I don't get it! They just kicked me aside like I was nothing! I-it..." I choke back crying. I can't be crying right now. I can't show him how much it actually hurts. "They said they'd never leave me. They all have. I've lost everything. I don't have anywhere to go. I have one disc left and- and when I die from this I want you to have it."

"Tommy, we are both going to walk away from here. We are going to go to Techno's and have some hot chocolate. We'll leave. I'm so sorry they exiled you. I should of been at the trail; I should of stopped them," he apologizes to me. He shouldn't be apologizing. Out of everyone he hasn't done anything. I choke back a sob and use the wall to stand. My legs feel so weak.

"I-I just want to be happy again." I don't move when Phil takes a step forward. I lower the crossbow tell it's pointed at the ground. Phil takes this as a way to get closer. Soon enough I'm in his arms, sobbing. He holds me close to him, like when I was a kid.

"We'll fix it buddy."

\- Option two -

"Phil, do you remember what Wilbur said before he pressed the button? What Eret said before he did?" I stare my father in the eyes.

"Tommy no-"

"It was never meant to be," I tell him and slam my hand onto the button. 

Before I feel it I hear it. The tnt and fire charges going off. I then feel the weight off the wall behind me land on top of me. The feeling of it breaking my insides and finally doing what should have happened so long ago.

Phil rushes over and grabs my arms, trying to pull me out of the rubble. I let out a dry laugh. It's over.

Slowly with my good arm I reach for my crossbow. It's still loaded, all it needs is for the trigger to be pulled. I stare at Phil and adjust it so it's pointed straight at my head. Before Phil can say anything I hit the trigger.

It's over.


	6. Ghosting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if exiling tommy went.... A little different.

"Tommy?" Wilbur calls out to his younger brother. Tommy's sitting on the l'man tree. He's making these fake trumpet noises to the tune of the internet had ruined me.

Wilbur takes to slowly climbing the tree to join his brother. Despite being a ghost he can't float for fly (which he claims is bullshit). Once he gets up there Tommy turns to look at him. Only then Wilbur notices something that makes him want to vomit. The grayed out scale of his brothers face, the only color left in him is the bandana he brandishes around his neck. Much like Wilber's own sweater, it's the only color. Tommy looks at him confused.

"Tommy you died?" Wilbur asks shakily. Tommy stares at him for a moment before responding with his own question,

"Who the fuck are you?" Wilbur stops in his tracks. He immediately knows something is off. Despite him not remembering the bad things he still remembers his friends and family.

"Tommy, it's me, Wilbur. Or Ghostbur?"

"Nice to meet you ghostber, I'm-" Tommy stops himself. He seems to be trying to think. The thoughts seem so caught in his brain. 

"You're Tommy," Ghostbur answers for him, settling on the branch with him.

"Tommy," he mutters to himself. It seems like he's trying to store the thought in his brain for later.

"Toms do you remember how you died?"

"I died?" Tommy stares at his hands.

"That's why you're all gray."

"I just," Tommy stops and thinks, "I remember pain. And then coming here." He shrugs, like it's not a big deal. Ghostbur doesn't like this Tommy. He can remember the Tommy full of life from when he was alive. This Tommy just looks numb and confused. His voice doesn't have that brash, loudness that made him Tommy. This Tommy's voice is more quiet and calm. He speaks like how Tommy use to when he would catch a cold.

"Tommy you weren't supposed to die."

"Who cares? I don't know who Tommy is."

\---

Soon people hear wind of Tommy's ghost showing up. Now Tubbo is relieved when he hears that his best friend isn't gone. He can still remember the blood, the cheering and the screaming. Whenever he closes his eyes he sees Tommy's corspe.

So when Tubbo finally finds Tommy he starts crying.

"Tommy!" He runs up to him, going to hug him. He fazes through the ghost and frowns, wiping at his face. Tommy looks alarmed.

"Who are you?" Tommy takes a couple steps away from the president. For some reason he feels this pit in his stomach. Something feels wrong and he wants to get away.

"Tommy, it's me Tubbo. What are you talking about? We are best friends?" Tubbo explains, he finds himself staring at his bandana. That's the only thing left or real Tommy he has. Tommy's body has long been buried in the ground.

"I have no idea who the fuck you are? I'm sorry if you knew Tommy. I heard he was a bitch," the ghost stares at Tubbo. He looks confused. To be honest he is. All these people have a weird reaction to him. Some are very negative and some seem so relieved that he's here. What did alive Tommy do?

"Well yeah, but that's you! You're a bitch but we all love that!" Tubbo tries to explain. His best friend is right here and like hell if he isn't going to try and rekindle there friendship. Even if it's after death.

"I-... I don't know what that means but okay."

\---

When Phil finds out he feels a since of dread. He hurries back to L'manburg after Wilbur was able to tell him. He recently has been spending a lot of time with Teccno. While Ghostber would often hang out with him, his youngest son was angry. Tommy was always hot headed and stuck in his ways. He always believed he was right. So when Phil still hung out with Techno, he felt betrayed.

He then sees Tommy at his bench. There is a music disk playing. Tommy is sitting there, staring off. He looks calm for once in his life. Phil feels the sense of wrong that comes with seeing his him sitting there, unmoving. When he was alive he was always moving. He couldn't sit still.

What really hit Phil that this was real was Tommy's hair. Tommy had blond hair just like him. His honey colored hair was on Phil's favorite traits that his son had. It made him look like Phil's son.

"Tommy?" The boy turns and looks back. Phil can see in his eyes that he doesn't recognize him.

"Oh," Tommy pauses, "hello?" Phil takes a deep breath and walks over to sit next to him.

"Do you really not remember anything?" Phil finds himself asking.

"Only my name? But Ghostbur told me that. And the feeling I got before I died? But Ghostbur told me I was dead." Phil feels like sobbing. He only has one son left that hasn't vanished. Techno is the only one that remains. 

"W-well Tommy, I'm Phil. I'm you're Dad actually," when he says this Tommy smiled slightly. 

"I have a family?" He pulls his legs up to sit cross legged. It seems after death even his weird sitting habits follow him. It makes Phil glad to see parts of his son are still there.

"Yeah and you have two brothers. Technoblade and Wilbur."

"Technoblade is the one on the wanted posters though?"

"It was L'manburg's fault for misunderstanding." He watches as his son nods, seemingly soaking up the information.

\---

The first night Tommy remembers something his lawn gets set on fire. He wakes up from his empty sleep with a gasp. It wasnt so much of a dream as it was a flash. 

It was a flash of pain. The feeling of betrayal. The feeling of something piecing through his throat. 

Shakingly Tommy pulls his bandana down and feels at his throat. He feels the hole and wants nothing more to know it's not there. He hears yelling outside so he pulls his bandana up to hide it again. When he gets out there he sees the commotion.

"Tommy! Did you fucking set a fire? I thought you where fucking done with this shit after you died?" He flinches back at Fundy yelling at him. 

"I-I didn't start a fire? I was sleeping?" He watches Tubbo put out the fire.

"Do ghosts sleep?" Tubbo asks.

"Tommy, you can't just keep fucking lighting fires!" Fundy goes to push him but his hands go through him. Tommy shivers and shakes his head,

"I didn't! I was sleeping!" He protests, not understand why they are blaming him.

\---

"Oh so you actually did die," a voice confronts him when he's in the forest gathering wood. He turns and sees the one and only Technoblade.

"Oh, hello!" He greats.

"Do you really not remember?"

"I only know what people told me do far. Otherwise I'm completely blank since I woke up," he shrugs and continues what he was doing.

"How did you die?" Tommy stops and feels like there is a lump in his throat.

"I don't know." He hears Techno let out a shaky "bruh" and then after a couple seconds he asks,

"Is there a wound?" Tommy stops what he was doing. This man is supposed to be his brother right? He can trust him.

Tommy turns around and pulls down his bandana. Techno takes a couple steps forward to look at it. As he stares at it Tommy can see the anger start to show in the man's normally dull eyes.

"Techie?" He freezes. Why did he say that? Techno's eyes snap up to meet his immediately. Tommy goes to take a step away.

"Do you remember me?"

"No, it... Just seemed right," his voice shakes a little. He seems anxious so Techno steps away.

"You use to call me that when you where younger. You couldn't say my name right," Techno tells him, picking at his hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wish I could be the Tommy you guys knew."

"You can't help it," Techno sighs, "by the way, it was an arrow that killed you. A poison arrow actually." Techno thinks about the vanes in his brothers neck. They are turned darker and even after death looks painful. He turns away from his Tommy and starts to walk away.

"Poison arrow," Tommy mutters to himself. He then feels a sudden pain to his head and holds onto the tree for stability.

The arrow. The duel. L'manburg? It wasn't from the first duel. First duel? He can't understand where these thoughts are coming from. Is this his life? 

Tommy lets let's out a pitiful whine which makes Techno stop in his tracks. Tommy then smacks his head against the tree to try and get the thoughts to settle. He reaches up to grab at his throat. It's like he can feel the pain all over again. The blood rushing into his throat making it so he can't breathe. The poison making everything feel dizzy but oh so painful.

The victory yell. The happiness when he fell to the ground.

Techno hears Tommy scream and watches as the forest around them catches fire. He turns to expect to see Tommy holding something to start the fire but the boy just looks terrifed. He's hitting his head into the tree and clawing at his neck.

"Tommy stop," when Tommy doesn't he goes to grab him (it surprisingly works). He holds Tommy by his shoulders, when he looks into Tommy's eyes he can see the panic and pain. He pulls Tommy into a hug and his brother sobs. While holding Tommy he sends a message to Phil.

Technoblade : hey get to the forest outside of L'manburg. There is a fire and I can't stop it because I'm helping tommy

Ph1LzA : on my way

\---

They get settled in Tommy's house later. Now that he is calmed down only Ghostbur can touch him now. Because of this Tommy is curled up by his side, sleeping off the panic attack he had.

"So what happened?" Ghostbur asks, stroking Tommy's hair back. Tommy hums and pushing himself closer to Ghostbur.

"He found out how he died and started freaking out," Techno says from his spot on the floor.

"How the hell did a fire start then?" Phil watches his youngest son closely. He looks peaceful when he sleeps. Like the kid he is supposed to be.

"Dude I have no idea! All of a sudden the forest around me just set up in flames." Techno stares at Tommy. Sure Tommy has always loved fire but he couldn't of done that.

"I don't understand," Ghostbur rasps out, "he's the only other ghost but he's nothing like me."

"I think we all just need to keep an eye on him," Phil sighs.

\---

When Dream hears Tommy is back he isn't happy. So when he stumbles on Tommy he goes up to him. Tommy is just sitting in his house staring at a wall when Dream comes in.

"Oh hi-"

"Why the hell are you still here. You're dead," he gets straight to the point. Tommy frowns at him,

"What are you talking about? Who are you?" Tommy sits up, feeling a sense of dread.

"You died. You're supposed to be gone," Dream glares at him, "don't act like you don't know me. Ghostbur still knows who people are. Stop playing dumb."

"Dude! I have no idea who the fuck you are and why you are so angry. What did I do?" This seems to make Dream furious. When Dream takes a step forward Tommy can't help but scooch farther away from him.

"Tommy you ruined everything. You where supposed to be exiled. Gone. I thought you dying would make you leave but you're still here. You're like a parasite. You infect everyone you can find with whatever bullshit you are up to," Dream tells him. His normal calm demeanor replaced with rage. 

Tommy feels like a cornered animal. Why won't anyone just tell him what he did to make everyone hate him? Why was he so bad? Why is does this guy hate him so much?

"Did you kill me?"

"I wish I was! I wish I was the one to have shot that arrow through your throat. I was so excited when you collapsed to the ground. I thought I wouldn't have to see you anymore. Why can't you just stay dead?" Dream rants. The mentions of the arrow makes Tommy feel sick. The same feeling of pain and sorrow when he died, it fills the room. It's like smoke flooding his lungs so he can't breathe.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean- I don't. I just," he stampers out, pushing himself back up against the wall. He feels that sense of panic filling back up with him.

"Tommy when he killed you, we cheered. We all where do happy you finally-" Dream is interrupted by a sob. A loud choked sound of anguish. The room around them suddenly feels hotter and Dream sees the fire rise up. He's not to concerned about it because of his armer. "Wow, even after death you just keep-"

"Dream that's enough. Leave him alone," Tubbo interrupts from the door. He probably has only been there for a few seconds but he's seen enough. He regrets ever letting Dream steer him away from his best friend. Tommy had obviously needed him on his side but was abounded. Tubbo left him because of the fear of what Dream would do. The responsibility of president going over his best friend.

"Tubbo."

"Dream." They stare each other down before Dream leaves. He bumps shoulders with Tubbo aggressively as he passes him. Once Dream is gone Tubbo starts to put out the fire. Tommy stays against the wall, his thoughts filling up his head.

"T-Tubbo what did I do when I was alive? Why are so many people mad at me?" He grips his arms tightly, trying to ground himself.

"Dreams angry because of you robbed and burnt down George's house when you where alive. He also just wants your disks."

"If he wants them so bad, why don't I just let him have them? So he'll stop."

"No, Tommy listen to me," Tubbo goes up to Tommy. He meets Tommy's eyes and Tommy wants to look away but he can't. "Those disks are special to you. Don't let him have them. I have one that you gave me one, to show our friendship. The other one is held by Skeppy and Badboyhalo."

"Why are they special?"

"We all don't know exactly why. You never told anyone. But you once said they were always there for you. You need to keep them with you. They are your most prized possession."

\---

"What are you doing?" Ghostbur interrupts Tommy. He sits up from his place in the water.

"Oh hi Ghostbur. I made like a hot tub. I'm always so cold and since I can't get wet I stay here," Tommy motions to the lava covered by glass at the bottom. Ghostbur smiles and joins him. It still leaves them both feeling cold still but it is warmer than the air around them.

"Ghostbur I have a question," Tommy looks to him after a couple minutes.

"Yeah?"

"I don't remember anything as you know. But do you remember me being exiled?" He asks, staring away from Ghostbur. He feels a sense of shame that he can't even remember things.

"Um," Ghostbur pauses, "well I remember they held a trial for you. On the day you where supposed exiled I waited to see if I would go with. Cause' I told you I would! But that never happened."

"Oh, so I died and wasn't exiled."

"Yeah- let's not talk about bad stuff!"

"Okay, tell me stories from when we were kids?"

"Yeah, okay so-"

\---

Tommy wakes up one night so someone coming into his house. He sits up and sees Tubbo in the doorway. He's crying and looks horrible. Tommy then gets up to comfort him, wishing he could hug his best friend.

"Tubbo what's wrong?"

"You asshole! You told me it wasn't your last life! You fucking said that it wasn't!" Tubbo yells at him, hysterical. Tommy takes a step back but Tubbo keeps yelling. "You fucking lied! Did you think you weren't going to die in that duel Tommy? You are always so reckless!" He sobs, pulling at his hair.

"Duel? That was my first death wasn't it?"

"Tommy you challenged me to a duel to stay in L'manburg! Wilbur remembers his death why don't you?" He cries out. The room goes quiet besides Tubbo's sobbing.

"You killed me?"

They both look at each other before Tommy pushes his way past Tubbo and starts running. It's too much. Everything is too much. Tubbo was supposed to be his best friend; why would Tubbo kill him?

As he runs everything in his path gets set on fire. Tubbo calls out to him but Tommy doesn't stop.

\---

Dream is the one to find Tommy. He is in Pogtopia surrounded by lava and fire. When he snaps up to meet Dreams gaze he scowls.

"What the fuck are you doing here."

"Everyone is looking for you Tommy."

"I don't care."

"What about Tubbo."

"Dream shut up."

"No Tommy, what about Tubbo or Ghostbur, or-"

"Will you just shut up!" The fires seem to grow taller. "It's all your fault Dream. All of it is. You've never once done anything good. You ruin everything!"

"You don't mean that-"

"Oh but I do! I fucking hate you! You need to get it through your thick head. You know I thought Tubbo wouldn't shoot me but he betrayed me too. I don't know what aliveinnt did that was so fucking bad! What he burned a roof? He committed a crime, does that mean he- no I should of died?"

"Tommy we were going to exile you! You said it wasn't your last life and that if we really wanted you gone that he would shoot! We thought you would be back," Dream yells back at him, "your death is your own fault," he says harshly and this makes Tommy freeze up. Dream knows at that moment he fucked up.

"You- you know. I fucking hate you-"

"No you don't-"

"No I really do," Tommy says, pushing past Dream. He stops for a moment and then shoves Dream into the lava he left behind. It doesn't kill him, but damn it hurts.

"I hope you burn in hell, like me." As Tommy walks away fire is left in his footsteps.

\---

Tommy soon gets back to L'manburg. Everything around him burning. Lava follows in his path. He stops when he sees Tubbo. He is trying to put out some of the fire. Tommy watches tell Ghostbur runs up to him.

"Tommy! There you are! The fires have all started at random, we don't know why."

"Wilbur it's me."

"But-"

"Wilbur I destroy everything, just like when I was alive."

"Well you did but that was just you Tommy! You never meant it like that," Ghostbur smiles at him softly and it makes Tommy want to cry. He doesn't bother with the hot tears that slide down his face.

"Wilbur Ghosts stay when they have unfinished business. I don't know what my unfinished business is."

"Maybe it's destroying L'manburg," someone speaks up and Tommy turns to them. It's Techno.

"No. I love this place I don't want it gone." The fires lower a bit, stopping spreading.

"Then let's get you out of here. You can come back to my place. Phil is there tonight too." And that's how Tommy is lead away from L'manburg, Wilbur following. The others where able to put out the fires and get rid of the lava. Tubbo mouths a thank you to Techno before he leaves. Techno just shakes his head at Tubbo, looking disappointed in him.

\---

"Then let's duel Tubbo. It'll settle it. You win I'll leave, I win I can stay."

"Tommy-"

"No let's do it. None of us will die for real. It'll settle it." Tubbo has a look of anger in his eyes that Tommy has never seen before Tommy lies about it, it's his last life.

If Tubbo wanted him gone he would be gone.

"Do I shoot him Will or do I aim for the skies?" The thought plays in his head. Tommy would never kill Tubbo. Hopefully Tubbo would follow his actions. Besides, he knows what will happen if he's exiled. He'll be alone. Tommy doesn't do well alone. He knows he won't survive alone. He's never been able to be alone. He would rather die.

So when Dream starts counting down he feels the adrenaline rush through him. By the time he gets to 7 he is already aiming towards the sky. When he turns around Tubbo has already shot. He sees Tubbo's eyes widen. The poison arrow coming towards him. He doesn't bother to move, he just stares at his best friend.

He feels the arrow pierce through his throat. Dream cheers, Tubbo screams, and the others all cry out.

Tommy falls back onto the ground, dead. Tubbo waits for his body to disappear and for him to respawn but the body stays. He runs up to his best friend. He wails as he holds his best friends body.

\--- 

Tommy wakes up in shock. So that's what happened.


	7. Gloves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for bodily harm and slight dismemberment? (It's mentions of it)
> 
> Anyways-
> 
> Techno asks Tommy why he always wears gloves.

"Tommy," Techno finally speaks up. They are both sat eating dinner together. It's a routine they have created. Usually there is light banter but today it was just quiet.

"Yeah big man?" Tommy looks up from his food, stabbing the potato with a fork. He glares at it, why the hell do they always have to have potatoes?

"Your gloves. You never take them off," Tommy freezes at his words. Well shit he noticed. Of course he would notice, Techno notices everything.

"What about them?" He looks up.

"I mean come on bro, we are eating. You really that cold?"

"What the fuck! Wilbur use to wear gloves everywhere! Why is it so weird that I do?"

"His where fingerless. Plus he was in his edge lord faze or something," Techno points out. Tommy frowns, he didn't often like to think about that faze in Will's life. 

"Jeez fine. I'll take off the gloves, calm yourself. Not that big of a deal," tommy chuckles, anxiety building up in him. He starts with his left hand, cracking his knuckles once his hand is free. He can feel Techno's eyes on him. He then grabs his other glove and pulls it off, hesitating.

He shoves his gloves in his pocket and picks up his fork again. Tommy can feel his eyes staring at his hand.

"Tommy what the fuck," Tommy looks up, surprised by the swear. He looks at his left hand and laughs awkwardly. He moves the remnants of his ring finger.

"Haha you see-"

"Tommy your missing two fingers," he glanced down at his mangled hand. His pinky is cut down to nothing. His ring finger he was able to somewhat salvage. It's only cut down to his last knuckle.

"It's more like one and a half," he shrugs, trying to act like it isn't a big deal.

"What happened to it?" Techno reaches forward and grabs his wrist. He inspects Tommy's handy work.

"Ah well you see, when Logstedshire blew up, I was trying to save some of my stuff, you know? Cause' that was all my things! And I guess I got too close because my hand was kind of fucked?" Tommy explains rabidly. He tries to pull his hand back but Techno tightens his grip.

"They where blown off?" Techno frowns, inspecting the still healing wound.

"They where to mangled to be saved so I cut them off. And let me tell you, I was such a big man, fixed it all myself! I read those books back in Pogtopia that Will got for when we where at war. Even moved the skin-"

"God, Tommy that's enough. Have you been using healing potions on it?" Techno glares at the wounds. The voices scream for blood. How fucking dare Dream. No one in their family has ever suffered a wound like this and the fact that Tommy was the first, it makes his blood boil. The fact that Tommy had to cut his own fingers off makes him want to vomit.

"I did before you found me," before Tommy can even finish Techno is on his feet. He digs through the chests and pulls out a healing potion. He then grabs a bowl and walks back. He pours it into the bowl and sets it in front of Tommy.

"Soak your hand in it," he instructs and goes back to eating. When he stabs the slice of potato he uses too much force. His fork hits the plate harshly and Tommy flinches slightly. He stares into his food and puts his hand into the bowl. He grimaces at it stinging but that's how you know it works. 

They eat in silence for the rest of dinner.

Techno swears for revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been inactive. I've been writing and I have many things coming up :D  
> This just popped into my head and I had to.  
> Also requests are being made but I struggle to write from other characters perspectives.


	8. Feral kid random times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Random feral Tommy times.

\--- Phil (before Orphanage)

I'm making dinner with Tommy on the counter as usual. He is watching the stove and the veggies on it closely. My guess is he probably wants one but I already have him a raw carrot earlier.

I frown upon realizing I don't have any beetroot, which I use to season the food.

"I'll be right back buddy," I ruffle Tommy's hair and he grunt at me. I chuckle and head out to the barn. It can't be a minute later when I hear a screech from the house. I race back and find Wilbur holding Tommy while Tommy's freaking out. Tommy is sobbing and hissing. He goes to bite Wilbur but Wilbur adjusts him so he can't.

"What happened? Tommy, buddy your okay," I take Tommy from him.

"He burned himself I think," Wilbur supplies, looking worried. Tommy clings onto my coat with one hand, other tucked close to his chest. He looks so confused. His eyes are darting from side to side, like he's trying to find a way out.

"Tommy, Tommy, where's it hurt. Where do you hurt mate?" I ask frantically. He just makes his noises and curls into himself more. I notice him hiding his hand and slowly take his wrist into my hand, gently pulling it out so I can see. He hisses at me and tries to pull it back. His finger tips are red and some parts are white and puffy. Fuck he touched the stove.

I'm an idiot to have left him up there,

"Wilbur, go get the first aid kit," I say moving to the couch. Tommy stops squirming and cries into my shirt. I rub his back gently. "You'll be okay bud. Just a burn, we'll patch you right up," I comfort him. He looks up at me and shows me his hand. He babbles nonsense but I just nod along.

"I know bud, me and Wilbur are going to patch you up. We'll fix it." I push some hair out of his face and wipe away some tears. As I do this Wilbur gets back with the first aid kit. He sits next to me and opens it. 

I grab some stuff to sooth the pain and spread it on Tommy's hand. He flinches but relaxes a bit. He is still crying but Wilbur starts talking to him to comfort him. I wrap up his hand slowly with bandages and once I'm done show Tommy the handy work.

"See, soon you'll be good as new!" I kiss the bandages and Tommy looks confused at my actions. He moves his hand to see how the bandages feel. He doesn't seem to understand them but accepts it.

He grumbles and rests his head on Phil's chest.

Phil ends up over cooking the carrots.

\--- 3rd (after orphanage)

Tommy is quite talkative for someone who can't speak. Phil thinks he came up with his own little fraises for certain things while living alone.

They never really had a problem with it. Over time those fraises and babbling are exchanged when he learns a new word. The slow learning doesn't bother the family too much. Tommy is a smart kid and can usually communicate what he wants even if it takes him a little longer and.

He was learning.

The trouble came when Wilbur had a friend over though. 

Now none of them had ever had any problems with Schlatt before. He would come over, make some jokes and hang out. But now they had a six year old in the house.

Wilbur warns Schlatt about having a new sibling and how he can't talk much.

"Yeah he's new. He can't talk to much so don't mind his ramblings. He acts like a fuckin gremlin," he jokes. "Also don't touch him randomly. He doesn't like it."

"Your Dad just keeps picking up orphans? Weren't two enough?"

"It's Phil, what do you expect?"

When they head inside Phil is packing for a trip to town. Tommy is by his side, watching with a frown. Wilbur figures that he has to head into town. Tommy isn't aloud to go with him anymore after almost biting a lady who accidentally brushing up against him.

Tommy turns from hearing the door open and looks kinda disgusted by Schlatt. He grips Phil's coat and Phil looks up.

"Oh hey Schlatt. Wilbur sorry for leaving Tommy with you, I forgot Schlatt was coming over. If he gets too annoying send him out with Techno," Phil tells them and Tommy whines. He doesn't look like he's in a good mood today. 

Tommy is always upset when Phil leaves. Since he trusts Phil the most he always gets fussy when he leaves. The first time he left without Tommy he had a full on melt down.

"The little dude can hang with us when your gone." Everyone looks to Schlatt when he said that.

"God damn i-" Phil starts but Tommy cuts him off.

"Big man!" He argued with Schlatt, looking so offended. Wilber holds in his laugh and Phil looks tired.

"Big man? Your tiny," Schlatt fires back. Tommy lets out of his noises and huffs.

"Big man!" He protests again, now looking angry.

"Yeah your the big man, Tommy," Wilbur swoops in to stop a tantrum. He goes and lifts Tommy up, so Phil can leave. Phil shoots him a look of, can you handle this? Wilbur just nods and praises Tommy more.

"So what's with the big man thing?" Schlatt asks when Phil finally leaves.

"Oh, we don't know. He just gets very upset when you imply that he's not," Wilbur shrugs. Tommy is still glaring at Schlatt.

The boys settle in the living room, talking and joking like usual. Tommy tucked into Wiluer's side pouting.

Things change though when Schlatt goes to ruffle Tommy's hair. Tommy lets out a growl and nips his hand. Luckily it's not enough to draw blood but it has Wilbur panicking. He quickly pulls Tommy away from Schlatt.

"Oh fuck, sorry I warned yo-"

"What the hell? Is he a fucking dog?" Schlatt shakes his hand, it's definitely going to bruise.

"He gets scared when people touch him, we found him in the woods, it's like a survival instinct or something," Wilbur explains, holding his brother closely to his side.

"So he is like a dog? Like a wild animal-"

"Don't call him that dick head," Wilbur can't help the protective anger that goes over him.

"He just bit me!"

"You touched him! He didn't like it!" Tommy sticks his tongue out at the man. Schlatt frowns at Wilbur who looks at Tommy. Tommy doesn't bother to stop but then he looks up at Will. He tugs his shirt to bring him down so he can whisper loudly into his ear.

"Bad touch. He bad touch. Tommy.... weld. We... Wi... Wild?" He barely gets the word out.

"Nah your not wild Toms," I wrap my arm around him and he settles into me.

"Bad touch?" Schlatt questions.

"Phil taught him that early on, so we know when to back off," Wilbur explains, looking coldly at Schlatt. "The kid has trauma Schlatt."

Then Technoblade enters the room. Dirty from potato farming. He can immediately feel the tension.

"Did I come in at a bad time?" Is all he says.

"He bit Schlatt," Wilbur says simply.

"Ha! Want to see the scar I got from him biting me?"

"What the fuck? Is it just normal for him to bite people," Schlatt asks.

"It's Tommy," Techno just answers simply.

Things calm down for a while and the anger slowly lowers. Tommy gets comfortable snuggled into Wilbur's side. Boredom fill them so Techno speaks up.

"Want to play that hunting game? Like tag but you gotta catch them?" They all perk up at the idea.

"How many hunters?" Schlatt asks.

"Just one. Like tag I guess but once your tagged your out," Techno explains the rules. Once they get outside Wilbur bends down and explains the rules to Tommy more. Tommy is filled with excitement, him and Tubbo where always playing tag. Games like this where great for getting energy out of Tommy.

They did rock paper scissors and Techno is the first one to be the hunter.

The all run off into the woods, all having a 20 second head start. Wilbur sticks with Tommy for a bit but then the kid darts away. He's quite quick for being so small.

Wilbur decides to hide near the clearing he first saw Tommy.

He listens and hears Schlatt being found and then caught first. It's pretty close do Wilbur decides to take off running.

Techno obviously hears the movement and takes runs in that direction. They chase for a while until Wilbur slows down and Techno grabs him.

"Ha! Now it's just Tommy!" Techno is one of the best at this game but Tommy is also good. His time from being out in the wild and being so fucking fast his one of his biggest advantages.

Wilbur just heads back towards the house and speaks to Schlatt until Wilbur comes out of the woods with Tommy on his shoulders. The boy is laughing with pure joy, it makes Wilbur's heart warm.

"Schlatt you where first, so you're next."

Soon the pattern repeats and everyone is off.

Schlatt takes his time, strolling through the woods. He listens and hears a twig snap. He turns in that direction and sees the tiny figure with blond hair running. He course he runs after him but the young boy is unreasonably fast. He's barely able to keep up tell they are standing by a cave near the river.

Tommy sticks his tongue out at him and runs into the cave. 

Schlatt follows him expecting it to be small but it keeps going. Tommy runs down the tight spaces, knowing it like the back of his hand.

If Schlatt is being honest, it makes him nervous.

"Hey, uh, bud! We shouldn't be down here," he calls out, hurrying after the boy. If something where to happen to him he would be dead.

"Fuck you!" Is the response he gets and he's surprised. When would Phil ever let a kid this tiny swear?

"Jeez! What would Phil think?" Saying this makes Tommy stop for a second and but before Schlatt can grab him he's off again.

"No! Bad touch! Fuck you!" He hisses out and makes more of his noises. Schlatt stops dead in his tracks when he sees lava. There is a small cobblestone bridge built to get across. Tommy runs across with no hesitation. One small slip and your dead. Schlatt is careful when crossing it but then starts running.

"Kid what are you thinking? Your brothers are going to kill me! There could be mobs!" He yells after the boy. Tommy laughs and keeps running. Soon enough they are out of the cave from s different entrance. Schlatt can barely breathe and he feels like his lungs are on fire so he stops. He puts his hands on his knees and takes some deep breaths.

"Fine, you win kid. I'm done. Fuck.." he breaths out and looks up.

Tommy looks pleased with himself and starts running in the direction of home. Schlatt slowly following behind.

When they get there it looks like Phil is scolding the other two.

"Really guys? I told you when playing manhunt for someone to keep an eye on Tommy. He's still so young-"

"Dad!" Tommy yells in delight and runs up to hid father figure. Phil scoops Tommy up. "I won!" He tells him happily and claps his hands together. He's practically buzzing with excitement. Everyone watched as Schlatt stumbles out of the woods, looking exhausted.

"That kids fucking insane!" Schlatt tells them with a huff, "he went into a cave!" Schlatt is able to get out.

"Tommy!" Wilbur and Phil scold in union.

"Tommy win," the smaller boy looks confused and guilty.

"You know your not supposed to go in caves! They're dangerous! There could of been lava or mobs-" Phil starts but Schlatt cuts him off.

"There was lava! The little demon just crossed the little bridge like it was nothing!"

"Big ma-"

"Tommy you did what?" Phil quickly looks over Tommy worriedly. Tommy doesn't seem to understand what he did wrong but he looks guilty.

"Won!" Tommy emphasizes to him. 

"Tommy we know. You just put yourself in danger and that's bad," Wilbur says, putting more emphasis on the important words. Tommy frowns while trying to register what there saying.

"Tommy bad?" He asks looking more sad than confused.

"No, what you did was bad," Phil explains, carrying him inside. He can tell this is going to be a whole conversation of trying to get Tommy to understand.

Techno watched them head inside and turns back to the others,

"I can't believe you let a six year old beat you Schlatt."

"THE LITTLE FUCKER IS FAST"

\--- 3rd (after orphanage)

Now Tommy doesn't often get in trouble. He makes so many mistakes but Phil makes sure he handles them right. He doesn't get angry and tries to teach Tommy instead.

So the one time Tommy did get in trouble he doesn't react well.

It was for coloring on the walls. They got him coloring books a while ago to keep him busy. Phil ends up scolding Tommy more than usual. He didn't yell but Tommy still felt wrong.

Once Phil is done cleaning up the mess and can't find Tommy, he panics. He has the boys searching and they look for hours.

Then Wilbur thinks of something. He checks the closet they use for storage and digs around. He finds Tommy curled up in an old box. When he goes to pick him up he gets scratched at. Tommy freaks out and squirms. He refused to leave.

Wilbur takes a few steps back and calls out for the others, saying he found him. The other two come rushing. Before Phil can go to grab him Wilbur stops him.

"He won't leave. I tried to grab him, the little gremlin scratched me," he explains. When Tommy doesn't say anything about the little comment they get more worried. Phil goes and crouches in front of the box.

"Hey mate, the box can't be that comfortable. I'm not mad," he makes sure to not get into Tommy's space. The small boy doesn't move or even bother to look at him. "I'm not mad buddy, you don't gotta hide." He watches as Tommy brings his hand to his mouth and chews on his fingers. It's a habit Tommy picked up before he even left the orphanage.

"Tommy, you can't just chew on your fingers like that," Techno speaks up. Tommy up looks at him with no emotion and chews harder. Phil reaches out to stop him but of course he gets bit. He pulls his hand back and Tommy hisses at him. This is the first time Tommy has bit him hard enough to bleed.

Phil looks back at Wilbur, not knowing what to do. Wilbur looks back with the same amount of confusion and then his eyes light up. He grabs Phil by the arm and drags him to the kitchen.

"The closet. It makes sense. Dad remember he lived in a closet at the orphanage. He probably got scared and confused," Wilbur explains and Phil nods along. He sighs,

"I hope we didn't lose all the progress we made. He hadn't bit me this hard before." Phil looks at the bite, feeling like he failed.

"I'm sure he'll be back to normal soon."

So while Phil and Wilbur run into town for dinner Techno stays by the closet. He sits their sharpening his sword. Tommy watches over the box. Whenever Techno looks over though Tommy looks away.

After sitting there for a while Tommy speaks up,

"Tommy bad? Make Dad mad." He coughs and shoves his fingers back into his mouth.

"Dad's not mad. Dad doesn't get mad often. He was just annoyed," Techno says bluntly as usual. He doesn't really know how to talk to kids.

"Make pretty," Tommy explains himself.

"Pretty stays in the coloring books."

They both sit there in silence. Once they get back home the spots are switched. Wilbur replaces Techno. Techno heads back out to the fields to continue farming.

Tommy lays curled up in the box while Wilbur plays guitar. It's quiet strumming while Phil works on dinner on.

"You know Tommy I came from the same orphanage," Wilbur stops strumming and looks over to the box. He hears Tommy shuffle and watches Tommy's head pop up.

"Orfff," is all Tommy says as a response.

"Yeah. I was there before you where even born. The place sucked. But here will never be like there," Wilbur looks Tommy in the eyes. Tommy looks confused but seems to be understanding so far. "We care about each other here. We will never do what they did. We love you Toms." Wilbur finishes. Tommy sniffles and lifts his arms up. Wilbur gets up and slowly lifts Tommy up. Tommy shoves his face into Wilbur's neck. Wilbur goes to leave the closet but Tommy starts to kick. So he settles for sitting on the closet floor for a while with his little brother in his arms.

Slowly Wilbur is able to get Tommy to leave the closet. Tommy is basically attached to Wilbur's hip for a few days. Soon enough though he is back to being himself. 

He's back to following Phil and getting fussy when he leaves. He chases the farm animals around again. He just now had a certian fondness towards Wilbur now. Phil is glad to see everything going back to how it was. 

\--- Techno (after orphanage)

I strike the training dummy with skill. Someday I'll convince Dad to let me spar in the village. Or I'll just become old enough to do it without his permission.

Despite having lived with him for so long, I'm terrified at the idea of getting kicked out. It's not something Phil would do, but the thought still stays in my head.

I strike harder and stop when I hear a noise. I turn to the bushes,

"You can come out now Tommy." I watch as he bursts through the brush.

"Fight!"

"Phil doesn't want you fighting yet. Maybe when your older," I watch and he grabs a stick.

"Fight! Please!" He recently learned the word please. Now he tried to use it on all of us. It easily makes Phil give in, Wilbur it takes a little more convincing. For me, I like to pretend it doesn't affect me. Sure I have a harder but his puppy eyes are what affects me the most. So of course he looks at me with his big blue eyes and I can't help but sigh.

"Fine," I turn and grab another wooden sword. It was mine from when I was younger. It's a bit lighter and smaller compared to my other swords. I hand it to Tommy and he swings it around a bit.

Once he settles down some I teach him about stance, how to hold the sword properly and to swing from side to side. He is a quick learner with this stuff. Soon I have him sparring with me. It's mostly me blocking easily dodging his clumsy attacks. Tommy seems to get angry but continues.

Then he swings and catches me off guard. He hits me in the face with the dull wood sword. I reach up and feel the scratch. I look at the blood on my hand and then back at Tommy.

He looks terrifed at what he's done. I feel pride fill me. I pick him up quickly,

"You did it! You got a hit on me! That was so fucking good," I praise him and he looks just as confused as before. "Technoblade never loses but you got a hit on me. You did better than Wilbur when he first started."

Tommy seems to be drinking in the praise. He babbles and gets a couple words in, "fight! Win! Win!" He cheers for himself. Both our swords now abandoned on the ground

"Boys! Dinner!" Phil calls from the house and Tommy squirms out of my arms. He sprints towards the house chanting how he won.

Now Tommy likes to try and spar with Techno and tries to help him farm potatoes.

\--- 3rd person (after orphanage)

"Techno have you seen my paint?" Wilbur walks out of his room. Techno is busy making mashed potatoes.

"Nah, Tommy probably took it or something. So you should find him," he says, not looking up from peeling potatoes. He has to make two separate batches, because Tommy and Wilbur refuse to eat the mashed potatoes with the skin in it. Tommy just copied Wilbur on not eating it.

Wilbur sighs and calls out to Philza who is tending to the farm,

"Have you seen Tommy?" Phil stops what he's doing and looks up.

"I thought he was with you guys!"

"Fucker stole all my paint! Let's hope he's not trying to make everything pretty again!" Wilbur yells back. Phil sighs and stop what he's doing. He check the surrounding area and can't find Tommy.

He feels a slight anxiousness that something happened but Tommy goes missing more often than any of them would like to admit. Tommy likes to sneak away and do what he wants. He doesn't understand the harm and no matter what they do he hasn't stopped. Phil has considered getting one of those child leashes. 

"Boys! Tommy search!" He calls into the house. He hears Techno groan. Tommy does this so often they have places the always look; usually he is in one of the spots he hides it ends up at.

Wilbur takes to searching around the house while Techno and Phil take to searching the forest.

Phil decides to check Tommy's old cave. The small boy has always had a thing for going back to it.

Phil gets the the entrance and smiles. There is his youngest son asleep on a leaf pile. He is covered in paint but what makes Phil the happiest is the walls. Tommy painted them. He seemed to not really be going for drawings. It's more just him smugging color on the walls with his hands. He snorts in his sleep and rolls over towards the door way. He opens his eyes a little bit and makes a small cooing noise.

"Make pretty," Tommy yawns, reaching out for Phil. Phil smiled and walks over. He quickly looks over Tommy for wet paint then picked him up. Tommy shoves his head into Phil's neck. He always gets clingy while he is tired.

"Did you do all this buddy?"

"Tommy make it pretty," Tommy mumbles, bringing his hand up to chew on his fingers. Phil stops him,

"Sorry bud, you can get really sick from eating the paint," Tommy whines but he stops trying and just clings to Phil.

While walking back they run into Technoblade who walks back with them. Phil explains Tommy's paintings with pride and notes in his head to buy him more things to draw with.

\---- 3rd (after Orphanage)

Now Phil doesn't know why he thought it would be a good idea to bring Tommy into town. Well he does know, he wanted the boy to get use to more people, it just wasn't the best idea. Tommy immediately gets uncomfortable with all the people, but it seems like he's trying to hide it.

Phil makes sure to keep Tommy's hand in his own, letting the young boy take in the sights.

Someone brushes against Tommy on accident and he growls at them. Phil apologies quickly and leads Tommy to a more quiet area. Tommy grumbles and rambles nonsense to him and Phil nods along. When offered a hug Tommy takes it.

This is how Phil, a man who's defeated the Wither, ends up caring his son around the market. Tommy seems a lot more comfortable like this so Phil doesn't mind. He goes into Niki's shop after a bit and is greeted by the young women immediately.

"Oh hey Phil! Let me finish up here and I'll be right out!" She says and quickly finished up her bread and puts it in the oven. She walks over and sits across from Phil and Tommy. Tommy watches her carefully. "Another one Phil? Two wasn't enough?" She laughs.

"Hey! He practically showed up on my doorstep. This one isn't my fault." Tommy makes a face at him that makes him laugh and ruffle his hair. "He was living in the woods and stealing potatoes."

"Well then, hello there, I'm Niki!" She waves to the young boy.

"Woman," he raises an eyebrow at her. This makes her laugh and Phil looks at him surprised. That's a new word.

"Yeah, she's a woman. This is Tommy Niki. He can't speak much but I don't know where he learned that." They chat for a while and then Niki gets up.

"Tommy you want a cookie? I have some fresh ones from this morning." Tommy looks confused and watches her carefully. When Niki hands him one he looks up at Phil who nods at him. He sniffs it carefully and then bites into it. His eyes immediately light up and he devours it quickly. He lets out a noise of happiness and looks at Phil happily. It's a look of, "holy shit what was that, why don't we have that more often." This makes Phil chuckle and pull out his bag of coins.

"Guess we need to get more huh Tommy?" Tommy nods quickly, babbling nonsense with a few words slipped in.

"How old is he?"

"Six."

"Why can't he talk?" Ah there is the question of the hour. Phil was expecting it.

"We think he was living alone in the woods for like a year, around when he was five. God knows how he did it," Phil explains and Tommy interrupts him.

"Tommy wild!"

"Now who told you that?" Phil's eyes narrow.

"Bad man. Wilby friend."

"Schlatt?" Niki puts it out there. 

"Oh that makes sense. Tommy doesn't like him that much. Schlatt touched him and Tommy bit him." This makes Niki laugh and hand over the bread and cookies. Phil gives her some emeralds, making sure to put some extra in. Tommy tries to snatch the cookies but Phil puts them away, telling him they are for later.

They soon leave Niki to her work and head off to the next stop on their list. Just a general booth so he can get some more supplies for dinner. While he is chatting with the villager he notices something is off. He looks down to his side where he out Tommy down earlier. Except he isn't there.

"Shit, Tommy?" He calls back, pays and starts searching. He calls for the younger boy through the crowds, keeping his eyes low on the ground. The boy still has yet to grow much from the year of malnutrition.

Tommy hears the calls but whimpers and hides himself deeper in the barrel. The noise becoming too much. He chews on his fingers nervously, sobbing openly. He curls up in the at the bottom of the barrel more and then he hears someone that makes him shoot up.

"You okay?" He quickly climbs out of the barrel and throws himself at the small figure. Tubbo falls under him but hugs him just as tightly.

"Tommy!"

"Tubbo!" The boy yells between snot and tears. He shoved his face into Tommy's chest. He rubs his cheek against the fabric of his shirt for comfort. 

"Why are you crying?" The small boy stares worriedly at his friend. Tommy lets out mumbles off,

"Loud... Dad?" He looks up at Tubbo and Tubbo used his sleeve to wipe his tears. Despite being young he feels a sense of protectiveness over Tommy. 

"Oh? Oh! Did you lose your Dad?" He asks and Tommy shrugs. He whimpers as Tubbo sits them both up. "I use to be the same way when I was younger." Tommy makes a face at this, offended.

"Big man!" He shouts, suddenly looking like he feels better. Tubbo stands up and brushed himself, Tommy is quick to follow his example. Tubbo grabs Tommy's hand.

"Let's go find your Dad!" Tubbo smiles and drags him out of the alleyway. Tommy looks hesitant and growls at villagers who get to closer. None of them pay attention to him. He feels the need to keep Tubbo safe, even if it's the latter actually doing the it for him.

Hearing the calls Tubbo pulls Tommy in that direction. Once Tubbo spots the green and white striped bucket hat he runs, Tommy struggling to keep up.

"Philza!" Tubbo shouts to get his attention. Tubbo has grown a lot closer to the family, as Tommy was practically obsessed with the boy. Phil made sure to actually talk to his parents and explain where Tubbo has been going. They aren't happy with Tubbo sneaking off to the woods but they notice the connection between the two kids. They just make Tubbo promise to tell them before he goes to Tommy's. Tubbo already wanders the village and Phil always walks him home before it gets too dark.

Phil immediately notices them and rushes over. He scoops up Tommy and gently scolds him for running off. Tommy looks away with a mumble of, "loud." Phil sighs and brushed the hair out of his face.

"Tommy you gotta tell me when that happens instead of running off. Kay? Then we can both go somewhere quiet." He explains and the boy seems to absorb the information like a sponge. He nods and then points to Tubbo, looking excited. Phil chuckles, 

"Thank you Tubbo, he hadn't been in the village when it was this busy before."

"Found him in a barrel!" Tubbo grins, looking proud of himself. The face Tommy makes as he tries to babble out a defense makes Phil laugh.

\---

Phil first finds out Tommy doesn't like the cold when he finds Tommy curled up against him when he wakes up one morning. The boy is shivering and Phil is quick to pull the blanket closer to Tommy. He holds him close as Tommy seems to drink in the warmth. 

Tommy grumbles and looks up at him.

"Cold bud?" Tommy whines and shoves himself deeper into Phil's chest. Phil laughs and wraps his arms around the boy.

\---

"Happy birthday Tommy!" Wilbur is the first to great the boy. Tommy stares at him,

"Birth day?" Over time his speech has gotten better but he struggles to make full sentences. It's more of just words shoved together to convey what he meant. He is picking up more on what they are saying and the family couldn't be more proud.

"Yeah! Your birthday! You're seven Tommy! You're," Wilbur fakes a sniffle, "all grown up." He reaches and grabs the boy to hug him. He teases him and Tommy groans. He glares at his older brother, 

"bitch!" He swears at him. This doesn't help with the teasing as Wilbur fake cries.

"Already swearing at me! You grew up so fast." He soon releases Tommy. Tommy immediately goes to tattle on him to Phil.

"Wilbur mean!" He huffs as he enters the kitchen. Hearing this Wilbur is quick to call out,

"He swore at me Philza Minecraft!" Tommy whips his head around to glare at his older brother. Phil let's out a long sigh,

"Guys it's too early for this! Wilbur, go wakeup Techno!" He says from his place at the stove. Tommy sniffs the air and climbs up onto the counter besides it. Hr looks over at what Phil's cooking, confused.

"What making?" The boy asks, leaning closer so Phil has to push him back.

"Pancakes, there is a surprise on yours though Tommy," Phil winks at him and Tommy giggles. 

When they all sit down to eat when Tommy bites into his he gasps at what he finds.

"Colors!" He grins, looking at the sprinkles which have leaked color into the pancake. He looks up to Phil, a big grin on his face. Phil feels his heart warm,

"Yeah colors Tommy."

Later they all give Tommy his gifts. Tommy knows the premises from his first Christmas with them. He is practically vibrating from excitement at the three items in front of him. Once he gets the go ahead he grabs the biggest one, which happens to be the biggest one.

It ends up being a training sword. It's one that Techno made himself, designing it specially for Tommy. The boy lights up and is quick to repeat many thank you's.

When he moves on he grabs the second biggest gift, which isn't much bigger than the other one. He is quick to pull off the wrapping paper. He grins seeing the disk. He always had enjoyed music. When he was in a bad mood Wilbur would often play his guitar for him or Phil would put on one of the disks he has acquired throughout the years. He looks over and Phil grins at him.

"It's called mellohi, got it from trading at the village." Tommy is quick to snuggle into Phil's side. He rubs his cheek against Phil's side, trying to show his appreciation. It is also followed with just as many thank yous.

Lastly is Wilbur's gift. Once unrapping he finds a necklace. A blue crystal swirls with power that makes him feel weird.

"That necklace is very important Tommy," Wilbur explains, "if you ever get in trouble, serious trouble you can't get out of, break it and I'll help you." Tommy smiles, not really understanding just yet but he loves it all the same.

\---

When Tommy gets older his speech gets better with every passing day. He grows into a young lanky teenager. He is loud and crude. He swears and has a fire in him that seemly can't be put out.

Everyone is proud of the man he has become.

It still takes a lot for him to get to know someone enough to welcome their touch. As he gets older he rejects it more, still holding the fraize "big man" close.

Phil doesn't know what to do when he comes up to him, talking about leaving. He talks about going to a land called the Dream smp. He assured him he'll be safe and that Tubbo would go with him.

Phil only allows it to happen with the assurance that Wilbur will go with him, a month after he leaves.

Slowly Phil's house goes quiet as all his siblings eventually follow in Tommy's footsteps.

Techno would often go off to fight in championships, but he always came home. That's until one night he comes up to Phil. At that moment he knows Techno needs to leave. He has heard of the wars that have sucked his sons in, from the letters. They have become few and far between but Phil always is excited to get them.

They leads us to present day.

Wilbur is dead, from his father's own hands.

Techno is living in a cabinet in the Arctic.

Tommy has gone missing. After being exiled they assumed he was dead. They found his tower to the sky and assumed he jumped off.

Phil refuses to believe he is barring another son in the ground. He holds onto the hope Tommy is out there.

He knows he is good in the wild after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm obsessed with this head cannon okay? And I have an idea for one last chapter to finish it off. Keep your eyes open 👀👀👀


	9. L'manburg: the pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy has some realizations while hiding in Techno's basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small little thing to tide you over for the next big chapter

Tommy sat in Techno's basement, his room. He feels drowsy from the cold and from not being able to eat in a few days. Techno hasn't left the house for long enough for him to sneak up.

He thinks about L'manburg, his home. 

And then he realizes: he doesn't want to go back.

He always thought being out was the problem.

No it was L'manburg. It was also the people. Everyone betraying each other left and right.

L'manburg is a pit.

In the pit you have to claw your way, tooth and nail, to win. You are against whoever is there. You aren't safe. 

They are all against you.

That sinking feeling you get when entering stays. Even after you leave it, you still will have the experience of the pit.

You can't trust whoever was there with you.

Even the outsiders, egging on the fight, they are against you. The Dream smp are the outsiders.

You can't trust anyone in the pit.


	10. Imposerinnit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break from the minecraft, let's go into among us why don't we.
> 
> Basically Tommy feels too bad to kill anyone and is a horrible imposter.
> 
> Is it slightly out if character, yeah. But it's not a game, the man doesn't wanna kill anyone.
> 
> Tw for mentions of suicide and thoughts of it ig?

"Well my crew, I think we have an imposter among us," the captain, Wilbur, tells us. He gathered us all up with the walkie talkies and decided to lay this on us. It makes my heart beat faster as I frown. 

"Wil, you sure you aren't paranoid?" Phil asks him. Phil is his Dad, so he always seems to be looking after Techno and Will. It makes me uncomfortable at times.

"Yeah, some fucker kept closing doors in my face whenever I would try to go anywhere." Wilbur turns to look at me. My eyes widen,

"Why you looking at me bitch?" I yell out, anxiety bubbling up inside me.

"That's a heavy accusation," Techno speaks up, looking bored.

"What do you mean imposter?" Tubbo speaks up, looking confused. Damn, he's good at acting.

"Someone is here to kill us. It's been happening on other ships around us recently. Besides, lights failing over and over. It can't just be them breaking." Wilbur stands up, pacing around the room. He eyes us all and I try to keep a clear face.

"Who do you think it is?" Corpse speaks up, everyone looking at him. His voice always grabs everyone's attention. 

"Wells everyone seems to be doing tasks and no one's died yet. I don't think we should vote anyone out," Niki speaks up. I turn to look at her, she's so quiet that whenever she speaks I try to pay more attention. Wilbur groans,

"So we are just supposed to wait tell they kill someone?"

\---

I'm in medbay when Tubbo comes in. I quickly shut the door behind him, and shove my tablet back in my bag.

"Tommy I don't think I can-"

"Tubbo calm down. We have to. You know what will happen if the ship lands and we fail. We'll get killed. The people at headquarters will kill us," I whisper as loud as I can. 

"I know your right but, Phil helped me with wires today! I fucking feel bad! I was faking it and had to excuse myself with the "never done them before" excuse! It was humiliating. And everyone here is so nice!"

"I fucking know they are! Do you think I'm not struggling?"

The door opens and Wilbur walks in. I quickly make more small talk with Tubbo and fumble with the test tubes.

"It's lights out already you two, well not literally. When you're done there head to bed," Wilbur gives us a smile and turns and leaves.

After a few seconds I lead the way to bed, feeling on edge and anxious.

\---

The days soon follow and I finally get the balls to cause a reactor meltdown. I rush to go help fix it but Phil and Fundy have already done it. I smile nervously at them,

"Fuck the alarms scared me!" I say and laugh awkwardly. I hope they don't suspect me anymore. Then over the walkie talkies I hear Schlatt say,

"What the fuck was that?" Wilbur is quick to respond to him,

"The reactor melted down."

"Fuck."

I laugh at the convention and go to leave but Phil stops me.

"We should stick together. Less likely for the imposters to kill you. It'd suck to be the first one dead," he jokes. He's always looking out for everyone on this ship. Of course he has his chaotic side just like his sons (probably where they get it from), but he's the most responsible on the ship. I nod in agreement and follow the group to where their next task is.

\---

I sit at one of the tables in the cafeteria with my head down. I don't want to bother trying to fake tasks right now.

"Oi, child, what you doing?" I hear Minx's familiar voice from behind me. I sigh and let out a hum but that's it. She decides to take it upon herself to plop don't next to me, "don't you have tasks to do?" I let out a small groan and she laughs. We sit there in silence for a few minutes until I hear a thump on the table.

I glance up from my arms and look to see Minx copying me. She lets out a curse from smacking her head on the table. I go back to having my head buried in my arms. 

After a few minutes a familiar voice makes me glance up,

"What are you guys doing?" Tubbo asks, smiling slightly. I shrug and rest my head on the table again. Then the chair next to me squeals from Tubbo dragging it out to sit. He then puts his head down.

Now there is three of us.

We wait probably another ten minutes tell we hear Niki,

"Uh, what are you guys doing?"

"Table party," Tubbo mumbles from his arms and then Niki joins us. From glancing up quick I can see she is keeping her head up slightly, so her eyes poke out. She is scanning around us often. If I had to guess she is probably watching for the killers. Too bad they are sat with her.

Then a horrible thought goes through my head, Tubbo and I could double kill right now. The thought makes me feel physically sick. They came to put their heads down with us, not even knowing what's going on. I look over at Tubbo and he looks like he might cry. I guess he was thinking the same thing.

I smosh my face back into my arms and feel a weight of guilt rush over me. We don't have a choice. Sure we have more time but damn. Despite the rude jokes, everyone has been nice to us. We join a crew with some others and we destined to kill them.

It's not fair.

I don't want to be an imposter.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts by another chair bring pulled out. Glance up and there is Techno. He glances at me and them stretches his arms out on the table. He then rests his head into the table, straight down. After about a minute their are some light snores coming from him. The fucker is already asleep.

After probably about twenty minutes Wilbur finds us,

"What the fuck are you guys doing?" His laugh gives away he isn't actually mad.

"Will shhh, Techno is sleeping," Niki tells him, I'm guessing she has that soft smile on her face. The thought of seeing that and then the terror- no. I can't.

I try to fight the urge to sob and let a couple tears escape my eyes. Tubbo then hits my leg with his, a mutual understanding. 

"I have no fucking idea. I saw Tommy here and joined and then everyone just followed," Minx pipes up, her accent thick.

"You good, gremlin?" Wilbur asks and I feel a weight on my helmet. I decide to just not answer and hope they think I'm asleep. After a couple moments I hear a chair bring scraped over towards mine. Then there is something being set on the table. I feel Wilbur's hand in my back, tracing over the details on my suit.

It's oddly calming.

If only he knew he was comforting an imposter.

\--- 

I soon figure out how to use the vents. I decide to just sit in the middle between electrical and medbay. I can feel this horrible pressure in my chest. It's like I'm underwater. I'm drowning in this vent and no one will ever find me.

"Tommy?" A voice whispers to me, I look over and there's Tubbo. So much for not being found. I shake my head and burry it in my knees.

"Is it about the imposter thing?" I look at him and raise an eyebrow, wiping at my eyes.

"We don't have a choice do we?"

"We don't."

"Tubbo, I'm thinking of just telling Wilbur and having them send me out the air lock."

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Tubbo whisper yells at me, I just look away.

"I'd rather not kill them."

\---

I stand by the window in the cafeteria and stare out into space. When I have Wilbur send me out should I just take of my helmet? It would make me die quicker. Or do I deserve to slowly run out of oxygen or freeze to death.

"Tommy what are you doing?" Wilbur says from behind me, making me jump. I turn to look at him and shrug.

"Just watching."

"For what? It's the same everyday," he laughs.

"Well this is my first time being on a ship, was never in space before this," I tell him, I narrowly avoid saying, "my first mission."

Is now the right time to tell him?

"People are worried about you Tommy. They say you've been acting strange," he puts his hand on my shoulder and I shrug it off immediately.

"Wilbur, what to do figure would be worse? Taking off your helmet in space immediately or waiting to run out of oxygen or to freeze?" I quickly ask, refusing to look at him. I don't want to see the disappointment. I don't think I can handle it, so I just stare at the brightest star I can find.

"Uh, well," Wilbur practically chokes out, "it doesn't matter. Because you're not going to get voted off. No one has even died yet." He doesn't try to touch me again. Which is good, I don't need his damn comfort. I'm an imposter damn it, I should just be stabbing shit.  
"Tommy what's brought this up?"

"Wil, I'm going to die," I just spit it out. It's blunt and sounds crude, but it's the truth. No matter what I do, I'm going to die.

"Toms-"

"It's just how it is." I cut him off, meetings his gaze. It's just full of warmth and it makes me want to vomit.

"Tommy you aren't going to die, dude, that's a horrible way of thinking."

"Well it's the truth," I shrug and go back to looking at the stars. I'll be floating with them soon enough. I wonder if I'll become a ghost. That would be cool. I want to touch one.

"The imposters won't kill you and like hell we are voting you off. No one has even died yet," Wilbur awkwardly laughs. He's repeating himself.

"Wilbur I'm an imposter."

"No, you're not Tommy. I know you're not. I- yeah, I think your just fucking suicidal and trying to convince me to throw you out. Like hell that's happening! No, I'm not letting you do this. From now on your going to stick with either me, Phil, Techno or Tubbo. Tubbo seems safe enough. This is an order from your captain," Wilbur rants, pushing me so I look into his eyes. Suicidal? Seriously? I can't even pretend to be a good imposter. 

"Now let's go, I have to do wires in electrical," he grabs my hand like I'm a child and leads me there. It's humiliating. Wilbur is mumbling to himself and I swear I catch him saying,

"Like hell I'm going to let my little brother die like this." It makes my heart ache. Little brother?

\---

For a while I'm swapped between people and then I get to Tubbo being in charge of me.

I've tried to leave the others multiple times but they just yank me back. When I tried to leave Techno's side he threatened to stab me. I of course immediately called him an imposter and he laughed in my face, saying he wished he was.

I shake the thoughts out of my head when Tubbo leads me to cams.

"Why would you fucking tell Wilbur you're an imposter? Are you trying to get killed?" He mumbles to me while switching through cameras.

"I mean, that's kind of the whole point Tubbo. But now they just think I'm suicidal," I shrug and spin in the chair. Tubbo's rolls his eyes at me,

"Of course they think you're bloody suicidal! No one's died yet!" He glares at me and I'll admit it kind of hurts.

"Remember when we were in training camp, we prepared our whole lives for this," I laugh, "well all of its going to waste Tubbo. I can't do it."

"Tommy we don't have a fucking choice!" Tubbo slams his hands onto the desk. He looks pissed. It's fair, he was paired with the worst imposter.

"And yet you haven't killed anyone yet! You can't blame me for not wanting to kill them when you don't either!" The doors suddenly shut behind us, I'm guessing Tubbo doesn't want to be found out.

"You're not making it easier for me! We were supposed to do it together! It's always been just us two-"

"Tubbo, Wilbur called me his little brother! It wasn't even a joke, he thought I couldn't hear him! I've never had a family before this-"

"What about motherinnit-"

"Tubbo once I was sent to that fucking camp, they cut off all ties. They knew I would get thrown out, they don't give a fuck! I can't just murder a whole ship because it's my job!"

"Tommy-"

"I can't fucking kill them-"

"Um," I hear a voice from the doorway and turn and see Schlatt. Well, I guess I'm finally getting what I want. He then turns and starts running. Tubbo goes to follow but I stop him.

"Don't. I want this to happen," I relax back into the chair and wait for the emergency meeting.

"Tommy this is suicide-"

"Who cares?" Suddenly our communicators go off and we all make our way to the cafeteria. I run my hands against the wall as I walk, feeling the cool metal through my gloves. I sigh and take a seat in the middle cafeteria. Schlatt is staring into my soul. 

"So what were we called here for?" Corpse asks. I rest my head in my hand and wait for the inevitable.

"Well Tommy, would you like to explain what I just walked in on?" Schlatt smirks at me and I just shrug.

"Why don't you just say what you gotta say big man?" I look over at his blankly. I wonder what floating in space feels like? I can feel everyone's eyes lock onto me. It feels like Wilbur is staring a hole right through me. 

"What happened Schlatt?" Phil questions him, I look up at him. He looks nervous.

"Well I walk into cams, because the doors were closed, checking for a body. And then I hear Tommy INNIT," he puts emphasis on my last name for some reason, "talking about not wanting to kill us, to Tubbo." They all look to me to explain but I just shrug. I lean back into my chair and throw my feet up onto the table.

"Yeah, I was." This causes ruckus to start at the table. Their are shouts about throwing me out and people arguing about it not being clear evidence.

"Wait, Tommy, dead ass are you an imposter?" Corpse asks me, the whole table goes silent. 

"Dead ass, I am an imposter." And just like that more arguing.

"Tommy you're not making your case better," Phil runs his hand over his helmet.

"He isn't! He's lying! I think he just wants to die!" Wilbur shouts out.

"Then let him!" Schlatt laughs. 

"I really don't know what to do about this," Niki mumbles.

"I mean, we don't technically have to vote him out, but he did just admit it," Sykkuno pitches in.

"No one's even died yet!" Tubbo yells above the chaos.

"I put my head down with you, you gremlin child! And you turn out to be a fuckin' imposter!" Minx points at me, I just shrug at her.

"But he's had plenty of opportunities to kill me," Techno points out.

"Yeah! We've been keeping Tommy by are side because he's been trying to get voted out!" Wilbur tells them, making everyone look at him now. I'm glad, I don't want them to stare at me anymore.

"What do you mean, wanting to get voted out?" Fundy frowns, face scrunches up. 

"I think he is suicidal or something. Trying to get voted out to die. He tried the same thing with me last week. It can't be him. If it would be him, some of us would be dead."

"He does seem like the type to just murder quickly?" Niki meekly points out.

"If he wants to die let him! Why should we take the risk of having him kill us! He just admitted to being an imposter!" Schlatt groans. You know, his horns have always made me think of the devil. It's cool as hell.

"That's harsh ,even for you Schlatt," Fundy says, laying his head on the table. 

"Wasn't there a quote from Tommy about him "stabbing shit?" I don't know it just seems like he would kill faster than this," Phil points out. I groan,

"You are acting as if I'm not here! I literally just admitted it! Just fucking throw me-"

"Tommy shut up, the adults are talking," Wilbur interrupts me, I groan again. "As you can see, he can't be an imposter! Like I said, he's suicidal. Like hell we are throwing him out for that! That's why I've been having him stick with us, so he doesn't do anything stupid!"

"But to be fair, has anyone seen him do any tasks?" Tubbo asks, I look over at him. He refuses to meet my gaze. I'm guessing he is just trying not to seem suspicious. It still hurts to think about him throwing me under the bus, even if I'm the one that put myself there.

"That is true," Techno says dully, he looks bored by the whole situation. "But that's also a Tommy thing to do, just to do nothing."

"Yeah there is no way he's an imposter!" Phil points out, using is old man superiority to get everyone to listen to him, "I mean come on! He's been with me, Techno and Wil alone for hours on end and none of us are dead."

"Well he just admitted to being the bloody imposter!" Minx yells.

"And like I said, he's fucking doing it to try and die!" Wilbur yells right back. I groan and rest my head onto the table. Will they just fucking get this over with already? I've accepted my death, why slow it down?

"Wait Tubbo, why was he telling you this?" Sykkuno questions him. Anxiety flairs up in me.

"I don't know! The doors closed and he just started renting!" Tubbo seems to make them believe him.

If this ship lands I'll be killed anyway. I'm not suicidal, just practical. 

The meeting ends with me having three votes against me, the others skipping and Tubbo voting for himself. When asked why he just laughs.

I push myself up and before I can walk away, Wilbur has grabbed me by the arm. I leads me to his room and makes me sit down at his office chair. He sits on his head across from me. Of course though, I start spinning in circles in the chair.

"Tommy this is serious. You fucking just told everyone you are an imposter."

"And what three people believed me? It didn't do shit."

"Why are you so adamant to die?" He shouts at me. I don't like this, it feels like I'm being scolded by my older brother.

"Wilbur, I'm going to die either way. Why slow it down?" I stop spinning to look at him. I reach up and unclip my helmet, making sure he can state me directly in the eyes.

"You aren't going to-"

"Wilbur when this ship lands, I'm done. I'll be killed. I'm not fucking lying about being an imposter," I laugh, trying to stop the pressure building up in my eyes.

"You can't be an imposter, I refuse to believe it," Wilbur shakes his head. He then follows my actions and takes his helmet off, staring me down. His words make me want to believe it myself.

"I don't know why no one will believe me," then the lights go out. I look up and watch them flicker out. Tubbo what are you doing? Wilbur sighs and stands, his helmet is back on again.

"Let's go, you're not leaving my side now." He grabs my helmet from my hands and plops it back on my head. He grabs me by my arm and we go to lights.

By the time we get there they are already fixed. Some of them look at me weird but I just laugh it off.

They know, why don't they do something about it?

\---

Being monitored by Wilbur is weird. He is constantly on watch.

So to piss him off I start closing doors on us. By the second one he glares back at me, I try to contain my laughter. That doesn't work so well.

"What you mates doing?" Phil joins us at the 3rd closed door in a row. I hold my tablet to my chest and shrug.

"Don't know, going wherever Wilbur is going."

"If he would fucking stop closing the bloody doors on me, we could just go there!" Wilbur slams his head against the door and then it opens. He stumbles and Phil and I start cracking up.

"What do you mean Wilbur? I'm not the imposter remember?" I can barely say between laughs.

"I'm going to fucking regret not throwing you off!" Wilbur groans and starts his way down the hall. I follow with Phil on our tail. Before we get there I smirk at Phil. Just as Wilbur is about to walk in I close the door in his face. He groans,

"I just want to do my tasks! I just want to do my tasks!"

\---

Another emergency meeting is called, Schlatt again.

"Why are we just ignoring Tommy being an imposter now?"

"Yeah, kind of," Tubbo shrugs, not bothering to sit down.

"I mean, I outright said it." I pick at my nails, kind of bored at this point.

"I mean, he's not really doing anything?" Niki points out.

"Besides closing the fucking doors on me all the time!" Wilbur lets his head fall onto the table.

"So you admit that he's an imposter?" Minx looks between the two of us.

"Why aren't you killing any of us?" Sykkuno finally asks the million dollar question.

"I don't want to."

It ends with me getting four votes against me and rest skipping. I'm so fucking close to death. I don't understand why I haven't been thrown out yet.

\---

"You're not like the other imposters I've met," Corpse comes up to me when I'm sat in the cafeteria. Wilber lets me sit here now. I guess he trusts me not to throw myself down the trash shoot. Wait, would I fit in there?

"Ah well, I'm just that cool. I'm the best man there is so," I trail off, feeling bored. There isn't much I can do in the days besides follow people around.

"I thought they were all trained to just kill and not feel anything."

"Ah, well I was, but I guess it didn't work. I'm built different."

"What are you going to do when we land?"

"Die, I guess."

\---

I stare at the trash shoot. It's late so no one should be around. I snuck out of my bunk with Tubbo, saying I needed to go piss.

I mean, I could fit in there. It would be an uncomfortable fit but I could make it work. It doesn't need to be comfortable.

Its either I die now or when we land and I have to go back. Who knows when I'll have a moment like this to myself again. I reach into my pocket, feeling my knife. The camp assigned it to me. They thought I would do best with it. But stabbing people multiple times feels too personal.

Sure I've stabbed dummies at camp, but that's so difrent from real people. I pull it out, staring at myself through the reflection on the blade.

"Tommy what are you doing up?" I turn and see Phil, Dadza. I see his eyes zero in on the knife. I sigh,

"Philza Minecraft, I could ask the same thing as you."

"Wil had a nightmare. Despite being the captain he still is a huge softy," Phil smiles at me. I sigh and turn back to the trash shoot.

"Well I knew that, I'm so much of a bigger man than him." Phil gives a half laugh to that and starts to approach me. "I literally have a knife out right now, is that your best idea?"

"You won't hurt me Tommy," Phil says simply and just like that he'd standing right next to me. 

"I could kill you right now if I wanted."

"You won't," he takes the knife from me gently, looking at it. He flips it over, seeing my name engraved in it. "What does SDI stand for?"

"Ship disposal incorporation. It's pretty close to, what do you guys call yourselves? Sleepy boys inc?" Phil laughs at that.

"We didn't even come up with that! Just some old crew mates, they came up with it. I guess it just stuck," he explains, handing me back my knife.

"Huh, that's cool." I am tempted to put the knife away but I just keep it in my hand.

"I guess." Then we are standing there in silence. "So why did you come out here?"

"Well, I was gonna throw myself away, but I don't think that's even possible."

"Why are you do adamant to die?"

"Phil have you ever had an imposter on your ship before?" I wait for him to shake his head, "well if the ship lands, they'll kill me. I will be brought back to the head minister of whatever department I came from. And I'll talk about why I failed and the whole thing is honestly humiliating. And then I'm dead."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah," I awkwardly laugh, "I guess I'd rather die by my own will then let them do it. You know, I never really understood why we are supposed to take down the ship."

"It's the materials we carry mate, they're worth a lot," Phil explains. It makes sense, the people who run it are just greedy bastards.

"I just hope the other imposter can escape that."

"Fuck, I forgot their was two of you."

"I wish it was only me." I open the trash shoot and throw the knife in. I have no use for it anymore. I press the button and laugh when it just flies out into space. 

"Who else is there?" He chuckled at the knife spinning out into space.

"Can't say." Phil just hums at this.

"You know that thing won't stop tell it hits something?" Phil motions to the knife. I burst out laughing,

"Wait, really? Ha, I am actually a good imposter, I'll just take down a different ship!"

\---

I'm sat ontop of the boxes in the storage room when Techno approaches me.

"You got rid of your knife?" He gets straight to the point.

"Yep."

"Why?" Techno raises an eyebrow at me. He's carrying a gas can, so I'm guessing he is refilling the engine.

"I'm not going to kill anyone, I don't need it." Techno stares at me, like he's analysing me.

"If you hurt Wilbur or Phil I'll make sure you'll die. I'll strangle you to death, a slower death than being sent out in space." I laugh at his threat.

"Sorry to disappoint big man, but I don't think I could kill them. Had Phil alone, with a knife and he's still alive." Techno stares at me for a few seconds and gets back to work.

\---

"Tommy, we got to talk," Tubbo grabs me from my spot at weapons. What can I say, the chair is comfortable.

He leads me into medbay and closes the doors.

"You fucked this up," he starts with, I can see the fury and slight sadness on his face. "What the hell am I supposed to do now? We are both going to die as soon as this ship lands! We are getting there soon too!"

"You can't blame this all on me! You haven't killed anyone either. You've only been sabotaging lights, no chance of them all dying," I lean against the wall.

"I don't know what else to do! My other imposter sold himself out and everyone just, let him stay! When we boarded you where so excited to fucking kill people and now you just sit around all day!" He yells at me. 

"I fucking told you I was going to do it! I'm so sorry I fucked up your thing but I don't know what you want me to do? I threw out my knife the other day. Besides, they're my friends."

"I'm supposed to be your friend! You betrayed me Tommy!" He pushes me, looking a lot angrier then before.

"You didn't want to kill them either!" I push him back.

"It's our job!"

"Well I didn't sign up for this! Neither of us did! I'm not going to go around and kill people for, what, transferring goods?" I roll my eyes at him, anger boiling through my body.

"It's our job Tommy!" I watch the tears spill down his cheeks, "now we are going to die! I don't want to die Tommy!" I frown at the thought. I need to come up with a plan. I can't let him die.

"Okay, hm," I think for a bit and then an idea pops into my head. "We'll sneak out of the ship! I'll say you got caught! The night before we land we can put you in one of the boxes. They'll take me and you'll be safe."

"No, you aren't dying either. We'll hide you too. Get Wilber to report saying both imposters where thrown off."

I vent to electrical after me and Tubbo's talk, popping up right besides Niki.

"Oh shoot! You scared me Tommy!" She takes a couple steps back, wary of me. I understand,

"Yeah, it's like fucking fast travel, cool as hell. I don't know why you guys don't do it."

\---

It's another night and I can't sleep. Tubbo is passed out so I don't even need to come up with an excuse to leave.

I go and sit under a table in the cafeteria.

Of course though, I can never be alone. Wilbur finds me.

"What are you doing gremlin, it's late."

"Can't sleep. Why are you awake?" Wilbur slides under the table with me. I resist the urge to lean against him. I wish he was actually my brother sometimes. I wish I still had a family. Sure Tubbo and I are close, but it's not the same.

"Same as you."

We sit there in silence for a while. I feel so tired. When I try to sleep, I get to see myself killing everyone. It always ends with me turning on Tubbo too.

"How did you become an imposter Tommy?" Wilbur speaks up after a while. I shrug,

"Family couldn't deal with me anymore and I got sent to a camp," I say as I rub the drowsiness out of my eyes.

"A camp?" Wilbur wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean against him. It's nice. The word brotherly affection rings through my head but I quiet those thoughts quickly.

"Training camps. Was there for, like, four years. This was actually my first mission," I elaborate, leaning into him farther.

"Your parents sent you there?"

"Well yeah, they couldn't deal with my annoying ass anymore."

"Tommy-"

"No Wilbur, don't even try to deny it. I've accepted it. It was so long ago, I honestly don't care anymore," I try to keep my voice steady.

"They don't deserve you Toms," I can't help the way those words make me feel. It feels like he actually cares about me. I blink away the tears, "I bet Phil is already writing up papers to adopt you," he jokes, "force you into sleepy bois." I can't help the sob that escapes me, I turn and push my face into the sweater Wilbur's wearing. He turns slightly to wrap another arm around me, my head now in his chest. The thought of having a family again is overwhelming. I wish his words where true, not just a joke.

"You're lucky Techno hasn't found out your an orphan," he jokes and I just let out a small laugh and continue to cry into him. Wilbur rests his head ontop of mine and we stay like that for a while.

"You know, when this ship lands you're coming with us. We won't let them kill you. You're with us now." He says into my hair. "You're part of the family now. Techno even likes you, even if he doesn't act like he doesn't." I sniffle at this.

"Tubbo has to come too," and just like that I gave away the other imposter.

"And Tubbo too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahshshhshshshdjdmmdmd  
> A little break between the feral boi content.  
> But I really enjoyed this.


	11. The call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy calls Technoblade after winning the discs back.
> 
> Heavy trigger warning : suicide

"Hey Technoblade, it's been a while huh?" I sigh, why is he calling?

The voices seem to be yelling about this. There is too many of them to make up what they are saying.

"Why are you calling me Tommy?" I ask bluntly and straight to the point. I trusted this kid to be my friend, he back stabs me, and now months later he decides to call.

"I just had a few things to say," I go to hang up but he stops me, "wait no! I know you where going to hang up. Please I have to tell you this," it sounds horribly urgent. But if I know him, he'll probably just swear at me and then insult me. But despite knowing this I stay on call.

"What Tommy? What possibly could you have to say?"

"I'm sorry, Technoblade. I'm sorry I broke your trust. You aren't a monster. I'm sorry I always called you one. I was wrong."

"You were wrong?" I ask, not convinced that he isn't going to turn this around. I lean back against the wall and listen to his response,

"I was. You where right. And this isn't some desperate plea to take me back. I broke your trust and I understand that big man. I just don't want to leave unfinished business." Something about about those words feels wrong. 

"Unfinished business?" I raise an eyebrow. Phil comes in and nods at me, heading down to the basement for supplies.

"Well, Blade, as you know I am on my last life. So when I die I've decided, fuck it, I'm not coming back. I saw the mess Ghostbur truly was and I'm too much of a man to let that happen to me," I listen to Tommy let out a forced laugh. Something is definitely wrong. I feel concern prickle through me, despite what he did.

"You plan on dying soon or something?" I half joke. There's a pit in my stomach. Tommy sputters,

"What- no- come on do you really- no- well," he trails off for a second, "well I suppose it doesn't matter if you know. You're at your cabin. That's far away. You wouldn't be able to stop me-"

"Tommy what are you planning on doing?" I interrupt, I move from my place at the wall to pace. I've heard about how everyone at L'manburg (well when there was a L'manburg) thought he killed himself. Is he trying to finally do that? Is he really going to?

"Ah well Techno, I'm going to be, wait what's his name? Icaris? Yeah that one. He flew to close to the sun and his wings melted," Tommy explains, like I don't remember the story I taught him.

"The wax melted. He died, Tommy" the pit in my stomach getting deeper. I hope this isn't leading where I think it is.

"Well duh, that's the whole point. I thought you where supposed to be smart," and with that sentence it feels like all the air is leaving my body.

"Tommy, what? No. Tommy where are you? Stay there, Phil and I will come," as soon as I say that Tommy laughs at me.

"You are too late. I'm done Technoblade. Not even Tubbo could stop me. Well, make sure Tubbo is okay while I'm gone?" He asks me.

"I won't have to because you're not dying," Phil comes up after hearing me say this. He looks concerned.

"You really don't have a choice here big man."

"Tommy, why don't you talk to Phil? He's good with this stuff."

"I don't have to make peace with Phil. I have nothing to say to him," Tommy answers immediately.

"He's your Dad-"

"And you're my brother, even if you don't like to admit it," he interrupts me. Phil is then by my side, stopping my pacing.

"Tommy?" He asks and I hear Tommy swear over the communicator. I can't believe I'm here trying to talk my brother out of suicide.

"Seriously?" He groans out, "hello Philza Minecraft. Anyways, sorry I got to go-"

"Don't you dare hang up Tommy!" I interrupt him this time, "where are you? I'm coming to get you?" All I get in response is him laughing.

"It's too late, I told you this. I've made my choice. Oh, the sun is starting to set," he comments offhandedly. I quick make note that he's in the overworld. "Oh by the way! I got rid of the discs. They can't be used against anyone now."

"Tommy where are you? Dream smp, where L'manburg was, Logstedshire?" I make random guesses and motion for Phil to get ready to go. I ignore his mention of the discs, but it just rings more alarm bells. Tommy laughs at me again.

"Even if I told you, you wouldn't get here in time. It doesn't matter Technoblade. I can hear movement but you'll never get here in time. It's over! It'll finally be over! Is this how hero's die Techno? I don't think I'm the hero of this story," he rambles in the typical Tommy fashion.

"Damn it Tommy, where the hell are you?" I don't even stop myself from swearing this time.

"Logstedshire. But it's all done now. Doesn't matter. Don't come here. Good bye Technoblade."

"Tommy don't you dare!" I yell into the speaker. I hear the communicator hitting something. He dropped it? Not to far, probably to his feet. But before I can even move I hear him move, his feet hitting the dirt. He got a running start. I hear his laughter slowly die away.

Farther away I hear a cry and then a loud sickening crack. 

I can't help when my knees buckle underneath me and a cry leaves my throat.

For the first time in forever I find myself crying.

I let Phil hug me.

Tommyinnt hit the ground to hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little thing, I have two big ones coming out soon, just needed a filler. And if I'm sad, why not push it on the block men's characters? BY THE WAY THESE ONESHOTS WILL ALWAYS BE THEIR CHARACTERS, NOT THEM. I also will never sexualize them in any way. I respect them and their boundaries


	12. Five years does a lot to a person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy leaves after exile for a while. After hearing about L'manburg accepting visitors he decides to pay his old country a visit.

Tommy watches the horizon from his boat. He can see the buildings in the distance. His home, or well, his old home.

Since he was exiled five years ago.

Four years and eleven months since he ran away.

He pulls his cloak over his head a little more. His new black bandana covering up most of his face. He keeps his now longer hair back in a ponytail. The ends are dyed pink, in honor of his oldest brother.

Well that's a weird thing to say, because Technoblade is alive. Of course, Technoblade never dies. Tommy kind of hopes to see him. He hopes to see everyone.

The only problem is, Tommy isn't planning on letting them know it's him.

With his clothing, only his gray eyes are able to be seen, which isn't a problem. The Tommy they know had bright blue eyes. After Tommy ran away, he found the blue never came back.

His voice is more raspy from the years alone, only traveling to the village about twice a year. He had a good set up deep into the woods, it had everything he needed. 

But he was even practicing altering his voice a bit, just in case that wasn't enough. He had to not act like Tommy Innt. Seems easy enough right? (Truthfully he fears what could happen if they find out it's him. How far does that exile expand too?)

He also hopes his scarred face will help. The Tommy they knew didn't have scars running up the entire right side of his body.

He looks over at the sun setting and curses quietly to himself. He hopes he can get their in time for him not to deal with monsters.

Last time he was at the village he heard news of the people traveling through the dream smp and L'manburg, so he hopes to fit in as any traveller.

He pulls up to the docks and decided to just leave his shitty boat there. If someone takes it he can always just build a new one.

He walks down the streets, taking in the new and old builds. Déjà vu follows him with every step. He hums softly to himself, Pigstep, a classic. He then eventually wanders to his old house outside L'manburg. Surprisingly it's back to looking how it uses to. It looks like it's in pristine condition. Someone fixed it from the last time he was griefed. There are small things different about it though. They have a slight Philza touch to it.

He wonders if his father is still around L'manburg or if he's moved on to the next server. He looks over at the bench and then decides to go sit. It feels like the first time he's rested in months.

Sure the trip here was long, but it wasn't that bad.

Tommy stares off the cliff and feels at peace. It's nice to see everything is still here and Dream never defeated them.

"Um, hello?" A voice calls from behind him. Tommy then looks over, heart stopping at who it is. His best friend, the person that sent him out in the first place. Tommy wants nothing more than to throw himself at him and hug the man. He's grown up that's for sure. His hair is slightly slicked back. He finally got rid of that suit and tucked both sides of his button up in.

Tommy clears his throat,

"Oh... Uh, hello," he stare back at him. He makes no sign of recognizing him, so that's good. Tubbo walks with a little more confidence and sits next to him. Tommy scooch over slightly to put more space between them. Tubbo hums and stares off into the distance,

"You a traveller?" Tommy give him a nod, no need to speak if he don't need to he figures. That's just an easy way to get caught.

Tubbo looks at the stranger, sitting on the bench where he use to sit with Tommy. The man is leaning against the bench like it's all that's keeping him up. His hands seem to twitch nervously.

"What's your name? I'm Tubbo."

"Don't have a name," Tommy feels the urge to call him "big man" but he knows that would make it so obvious.

"What do you mean you don't have a name?" Tubbo raises an eyebrow at him.

"When you are alone for so long you don't need a name," Tommy tells him, struggling to keep the accent up. He cracks his knuckles nervously, eyes darting to look at Tubbo's.

Tubbo feels cold when he meets them. He can tell this stranger has seen some shit. His eyes don't show much emotion. He's obviously a secretive person but Tubbo doesn't mind. They all have their demons.

"So how'd you find your way up here? No one seems to come here besides me," Tubbo pauses for a moment and mutters to himself, "well Philza and Techno but we all know why." Tommy pauses at that and turns back to look over the cliff. Music would be nice right now. Tommy licks his lips to wet them and replies with,

"Just got here and was wandering around. Saw a bench and decided to rest," Tommy coughs a bit but shakes it off. 

"Oh, if you're staying a little longer I can lead you to the inn." Tommy nods and Tubbo takes that as his cue to lead him there. Tommy takes a second to stand up. He grabs his bulky bag and follows his old friend. He genuinely wonders if Tubbo is still president. There had been many elections since he was gone, but with what he is wearing, he's going to guess not. When Tubbo was president he always wore that damn suit. Tommy refused to ever dress that formal.

Tommy looks at the buildings around them, happy the country is seemingly thriving. In the back of his head he wonders if it's because he left.

Once they get to the inn Tubbo gives him a nod and they part ways. It hurts to see Tubbo walk away but he just takes a deep breath and walks inside. He isn't expecting Niki to be sitting at the counter, reading a book. He closed the door behind him and Niki's kind eyes are on him.

"Oh! Hello there. I'm Niki, I'm the one who runs the inn at this time of night. You're actually the first traveler we've had in today," she has some more confidence Tommy notices. This makes his lips twitch in a smile.

"Hey, I'm looking for a room, I guess. Don't exactly know how long I'll be here. Is it cool if I pay by day?" He keeps a distance away from her. Despite the comfort she use to bring, he has to stay as "the traveller."

"Yeah that'll work, we have plenty of room," her quiet side comes back but she still holds herself a little higher than she use to. That's good. He digs around in his bag and places what has to be plenty of coins. She looks down and smiles at this. She motions for him to follow and he does. She leads him always to the top of the stairs and steps away.

"You seem like the type that would like the quiet. So I figured you'd like the loft room," she hands him the key and he makes sure not to touch her at all.

It's been so long since he was hugged last.

He nods at her and unlocks the door, she heads back down.

Tommy goes inside, locking it immediately. He pulls all the curtains tell no one can see in and gets comfortable. He throws his cloak and bandana in a random direction and flops on the bed.

Finally back.

He wonders if Dream finds him, will he be killed?

\---

The next day Tommy gets up and explored more. He walks around tell he finds a statue. The stone seems to gleam, looking like someone cleans it once in a while. The thing that surprises him is that it's him.

Or well what use to be him. He looks strong. He has no idea who built it but it makes him smile when he realizes he's pogging. They really knew him well.

After a while he walks up to the plack at the bottom.

"Tommy, a brave soldier," Tommy stops to let the words sink in. More like child soldier.

"The vice president," tell he got kicked out he reminds himself.

"And an amazing friend." Well at least they still thought about him. He got a fucking statue and all he had to do was fuck off for a couple years.

He was remembered. He made history.

And then he ran away to never return. The thought makes him snicker,

"What are you laughing at?" A calm voice asks from behind him. Tommy snaps his head around, meeting face to face with the blood god himself.

"Oh, sorry, just a joke to myself," Tommy coughs out quickly. He doesn't make eye contact.

"Over my dead brothers statue?" He can feel the hard gaze Techno is giving him. 

"Dead?" He can't help but ask. They think he's dead?

"Duh. Have you seriously never heard of Tommy Innit Watson? I remember the news spread like wildfire."

"I live alone," he simply leaves it at that. He looks up meet Techno's gaze. Techno is still staring him down. After a second he turns hearing a door open near by. The sudden movement caused a slight breeze from his cape.

It's apparently enough to push his hood down. Then at that moment he meets he's with Phil, his father. Tommy settled at giving a confused look and reaching to pull his hood back up.

Phil was staring at the man's blond hair. The pink tips remind him of his remaining son. It's weird how easily blond hair gives Phil the hope Tommy is still out there. Sure he has accepted that Tommy is dead, but he can't help the feeling of hope when he sees a traveler with blond hair.

But those gray eyes aren't his sons.

"Oh! Hello mate, sorry about Techno. He's always like this." Techno scoffs at him. "Anyways mate, who are you? Techno never seems to bother any of the travellers," he's giving Tommy that kind smile like he always use to. His father's hair has grown a lot longer and is in a braid similar to Techno's. He isn't wearing his cloak that use to cover his wings. Dream refused to let him fly when he joined them there, but things seemed to have changed.

"Phil he was laughing at Tommy's statute-"

"I was not bitch!" Tommy quickly coughs, "I simply thought of something. It wasn't at it," he tells the two, quieting down. They both seem surprised but the outburst. Phil shakingly smiles at it. This stranger weirdly reminds him of Tommy. He reminds himself that it cannot be Tommy. Tommy has been dead for five years, this stranger may remind him of his son, but it cannot be him.

"Techno, let the man breathe," Phil rolls his eyes at his oldest. Techno takes a step back, looking at Tommy still. He can just tell something is up with this stranger. "Would you like to come in for some tea? It's not everyday that someone stands up to Technoblade." Phil gives him a look that makes him want to accept. But that would mean moving his bandana and he can't risk them recognizing him. So he just shakes his head and walks away.

Techno watched him leave and then when he's far enough turns to Phil.

"Something is up with him."

\---

Tommy explores the country more. It's always been small so he hopes he can see everything today. He doesn't want to leave again but he knows he has too. But what damage could spending a little time here do?

He sees the white house standing tall and proud as ever. Tommy is surprised Techno is here and government is still a thing. He wonders what changed.

After more walking he runs into a house. It's small and cozy but nothing special. What makes Tommy surprised is it's the l'man tree out front. He can recognize it anywhere. But that's not all, there is a grave under it. He walks up and reads his own name. They put his grave under the l'man tree.

He was important enough for it to be here.

"Oh, hello!" A ghostly voice interrups his thoughts. He already knows who it is and turns to look at the ghost of his brother.

"You must be new around here! I'm Ghostbur and that's Tommy's grave! I'm still waiting for him," the ghost tells him cheerfully. Tommy scuffs,

"Why? He's been dead for five years?"

"Because I know he still has unfinished business! He couldn't of left us yet," Ghostbur smiles at him sadly. Tommy supposes that Wilbur is right.

"What's your unfinished business?"

"No clue!" Tommy just hums at that and Ghostbur throws some blue at the grave. He then offers some of it to Tommy himself but he declines. Tommy then notices all the blue flowers that surround his grave.

"How'd he die?" Tommy doesn't really care about what he asks him. If he is lucky the ghost will just forget the whole conversation.

"Oh, well I don't really know. I can't remember it when people try and explain it. I just know he made this really high tower and then something bad happened. It-" the ghost stutters, golden tears slipping from his eyes, "they say it was what I did." Ghostbur holds the blue close to his chest as if it'll fix it. Tommy hums and walks away.

So they think he committed suicide.

Which is fair. He almost did.

\---

The next time he sees Ghostbur is when he's on a late night walk. The ghost is crying. Tommy sighs, wanting to make him feel better. He sits down next to him. He seems to notice his presence but doesn't say anything.

"You miss him?" Tommy guess and Ghostbur nods rapidly. "Isn't there a chance he's still alive?" His fake accent slips away near the end. Ghostbur whips around to look at him. He shakingly reaches out to cup Tommy's face with his hands. Tommy leans into the touch, practically melting. Phil use to do that when they where kids. When Tommy was small and hurt. It always got Tommy to calm down.

"T-Tommy?" Ghostbur asks, voice horse. Tommy just shrugs, enjoying the touch too much. He would usually be embarrassed but living alone does things to you. Ghostbur pulls him down for a hug, forcing Tommy's head into his chest. His little brother is in his arms. He's actually here. Tommy practically melts into him, putting more weight on him. Ghostbur doesn't mind one bit.

They stay like that for a long time. 

Tommy makes him swear to secrecy. He insists to the other that Tommy is dead. He knows Wilbur is horrible with secrets.

He insists that Tommy is dead, a ghost. That he looks tired and sad. That he himself just found the ghost crying and hugged him. That he isn't Tommy.

After a while Ghostbur seems to believe him.

\---

Tommy wakes up to commotion the next morning. He begrudgingly puts on his bandana and looks outside. He leaves him hair down and doesn't bother to put on his cloak.

"I swear I saw him!" He hears Ghostbur yelling. There is so many people he hasn't seen in years. Tommy inhales sharply.

"That's impossible! Why would his ghost just appear now?" Tubbo yells back at it, Tommy can even see from here that he's crying. Phil looks like he's in shock, Techno has a hand on his shoulder. Ranboo looks tired, but is trying to deal with the situation. Quackity is by Tubbo's side, he looks pissed. Niki is by Ghostbur's side, trying to calm the crying ghost down.

"B-But I promise you! I held his face! I felt him!" He cries out and then we meet eyes. "The traveller saw him!" They all turn to look at me through the window. I shrug and nod. Phil seems to let out a sob of relief and Techno looks panicked at this.

Too bad they won't ever see "Tommy." Tubbo seems to freeze up, you can practically see the thoughts swarming around him. Ranboo stares at me. Niki hugs Ghostbur. I turn away from the window and close the curtains again.

Fundy just looks at me and shakes his head. His eyes are knowing. 

He has to know.

\---

I'm heading to Fundy's house when Technoblade approaches me.

"Who are you?" He gets straight to the point. I look at him and shrug, continuing to walk.

"Well, I'm trying to come up with a name, I'm thinking Icarus fits," I keep my voice quieter than I would usually be.

"Chosing a name? Are you sure you're not just Dream?" I freeze at the name, feeling a sense of dread come over me. The name makes me want to vomit.

"Don't you dare call me that fuckers name. He can burn in hell," I snap at him, barely keeping the accent up.

"Well, you do have the same color hair as him." He reaches up and pulls my hood down. I feel my hand twitch near my sword but I stop myself. I try and put more space between us.

"Well I'm not him. I'll never be him," I huff at him. Flashes of Dream hitting me while I was at my weakest fills my mind. When I was defenseless and scared. I use to miss him so much. "What's your reasons that I'm him even? I literally am just a wanderer that has stopped here in L'manburg for a bit," I spit out at him.

"Well, Dream hid his face, like you do. Your accent is fake. About as tall as him. Laughed at the statue of Tommy, there is actually a lot more," Techno lists out to him. Techno knew something was up, he was just mixed up on who he actually was.

"Pssht, you think Dream could fake a British accent this good? He's more american than you," Tommy throws the light insult at him. He then continues walking.

Techno goes to grab his shoulder and when they make contact he flinches harshly. Tommy whips around, covering his face. He has his hand on his sword and with the other hand he is covering his face defensively.

"Please don't touch me," he whispers out. This makes Techno stop, clearly thinking.

"If your not him, prove it to me. Show me your throat. Dream has a scar there," Techno commands. Tommy shrugs and moves the bandana a little to show his throat. The only scar there is one on the side of his neck. It seems to trail down from his face. Techno is quick to see that it's from an explosion.

Techno watches him walk away.

He can still hear the voices screaming that something was up.

\---

When I finally get to my destination, I knock on the door. When it opens I take a step back. Fundy stares at me unimpressed. He motions for me to come in.

I step into his horrible built house and move to cover the windows.

When they are all covered I pull down my bandana.

"How the hell did you know?" Fundy laughs in his face, making Tommy's blood boil.

"It's obvious, your not good at hiding it."

"What the fuck do you mean I'm not good at hiding it! You're just a bitch! Everyone else doesn't know! You just suck! You bastard! If I could I'd-" Tommy goes into a coughing fit, his voice not use to the yelling. Fundy just watches and when it settles down he adds,

"You done yet?" Tommy glares at him. "You know for being gone five years you really are the same. But really, where have you been?" He crosses his arms, staring at his "uncle." Tommy lets out an awkward laugh,

"Well you see, big F, I was standing at the top of the tower. You know, all sad and shit, and then I realized: if I died then I would never get to punch Dream in the face," Tommy jokes. In reality he realized he had no one.

"So you ran away?"

"When you put it like that, I sound like a child. I didn't want to be watched anymore. I had no where I could go! I was banned everywhere so I left. Oh by the way, do you know if that exile still stands?" Tommy adds in last second.

"Tommy, I don't think anyone would care as they all think you're fucking dead!" He shouts in frustration. Fundy thinks about how stupid the exile would be if he returned after five years of being dead. He notices how Tommy flinches back at the noise and calms himself a bit.

"Pog. Anyways, I'm just here for a bit, probably. I don't know yet. I've missed this place," he admits. He reaches up to push away the hair that has fallen out of his messy bun.

"You got to tell them who you are," as he says this Tommy frowns.

"Tommy is better off dead."

"No you aren't! Wilbur is still waiting for you! D- he fucking still thinks your ghost is coming back. Techno even moved here after Phil begged him. He fucking begged him. When he found out he screamed. He thinks only one of his sons are left. And, and what about Tubbo?" He can't help it when he starts yelling at him. He notices how Tommy's hand immediately go to the blade at his side. He's keeping his hand on it. He looks into Tommy's gray eyes and sees a fear.

He makes sure to note that this Tommy, is a lot more skittish than old Tommy.

"They deserve to know the person I was before. Not me now. Fundy, they should remember me for who I was."

"You're still Tommy," Fundy's voice breaks a little. They both pretend not to notice it.

"Fundy, it's been so long," his voice cracks, sounding sore. "They remember me as Tommy Innit. The kid who could started wars with disks. Tommy a fire in him. He was strong and an annoying dumbass. He got on everyone's nerves. He was a warrior," he does air quotes for that. "I'm not. I'm a hermit who lives in the woods alone. I can't do anything right. I'm just, well I guess, Icarus. Cool name huh? I'm the traveller who has appeared in town."

"Icarus?"

"Yeah, from the story," there's an unadded comment about how Techno told him the story when he was young. "I flew to close to the sun."

\---

I'm wandering through the Dream Smp when I see a flash of green. I turn to stare at him. He's here. I stare at that stupid fucking mask. I reach for my hip to rest my hand on my netherite sword. When he walks up to me I pull it out. 

"You're back."

"Hello my old friend," I rasp out, pointing at him with my sword. He's in full netherite but I don't hesitate to swing at him. He splashes a strength potion but it was close enough to hit me. I swing again, getting a good hit on him. He quickly pulls out an axe, he swings at me, nicking my arm.

I know if we are just fighting I'll lose. So I quickly aim for the axes handle. The wood breaks and the axes top goes flying. Tommy is quick to go for a low blow and kick him in the crotch. When he doubles over Tommy is quick to swipe his feet. Dream is disarmed and on the ground.

He is quick to point his sword at his throat.

"You stay the hell away from me," Tommy mutters to him. There is a scar in the middle. It looks like he's been stabbed there before.

Tommy then backs away from him, sword still out. After he gets far enough with Dream not moving he hurries back to the inn.

When he gets in there he sees Niki sitting at the desk again. She notices his bleeding arm,

"Oh my God T- come in the back, I'll patch it up." Tommy shakes his head and points up. She quickly grabs some first aid and let's him lead her to his room. He locks the door behind them quickly and unclips his cloak with his good arm. Niki sits on the bed and motions him over. He sits next to her and let's her inspect the gash.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Oh I knew the first night," she waves it off and spreads disinfectant over the wound. Tommy flinches slightly and she mumbles an apology.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You don't want people to know," they settle in silence for a bit tell Niki speaks up, "how did you get this?"

"Dream." This makes Niki's head snap up. Her eyes are full of alarm.

"He's back?"

"Yeah." They settle back in silence until Niki is done.

"You know, I punched Dream." This makes Tommy burst into laughter. Niki finds herself grinning at this. 

"Fuck, really? Why? How'd you get away with that?" He laughs until he starts coughing.

"I found out about him "visiting" you in exile. Before he could even touch me, Phil and Techno were there. They took two of his lives," she tells him proudly. She notices a bit of blue has seemed to returned sense she first met him again.

"Can I ask you some questions about what the hell is going around here now days? I've learned that I died, I guess, but otherwise so much has changed and I don't know what's happening."

"Go for it."

Tommy learns about Ranboo being president. He learns of how Techno still harasses the government, but gets away with it. He learns that Eret is still king and George is living peacefully. He hears about how El' Rapids deformed after Dream left. He hears about how they found a journal of his (this makes him blush) and how they learned about what Dream has done. How when Phil and Techno heard they both avenged him and killed Dream twice.

He learns that L'manburg was closed for a while, not letting anyone but citizens in. How Tubbo stopped doing much after his death. He didn't rerun for president. He now spends his days helping around town, working with the bees, or listening to the discs.

"I want to destroy the discs," Tommy tells Niki after that. When questioned why he just responds with,

"I was greedy."

\--- 

It's been about a week of being here when Tommy decides to stay for a bit. Maybe have a vacation home out here. He asks Ranboo if that's aloud and the man agrees almost instantly.

Ranboo has a glint of warmth in his eyes. He doesn't know why, but this mysterious man reminds him of someone.

Tommy is currently working on a shittily built home in the side of one of the craters that's left when Phil comes up to him. His heart immediately starts racing from seeing him. 

"Want some help there mate?" He gives Tommy that same warm smile as always and Tommy can't help but nod.

"S-sure. That sounds great actually," he makes sure his fake accent is a little thicker. The man raised him, surely he would recognize him out of anyone.

After a while of quiet building Phil speaks up,

"You remind me a lot of Technoblade, you know? He's always been quiet too," his comments are more of just empty conversation but it makes Tommy raise his eyebrows.

"Like I would ever be like that bitch," he struggles with the accent a little there but the sentence feels good on his tongue. It feels good to speak like himself a little bit.

This just makes Phil laugh,

"Now that was something Tommy would of said, you're actually a lot like him too, if you weren't so quiet." Tommy hums at this, focusing more on making sure his windows are placed correctly.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Tommy says after a bit.

"It's all good mate. Besides, Ghostbur said he saw him; so maybe I'll see him soon." He doesn't look up from his work. Tommy is dying to ask him questions. He wants to know what is going through his father's head.

"What was Tommy like?" He asks after a long pause. He is seeking validation from him. He just wants to know that his father doesn't hate him for what he did. That he was still remembered.

"Ah, well," Phil stops to think, "he was loud, energetic, and a ball of fire."

"That sounds nothing like me," Tommy comments as if that'll make him less suspicious.

"You talk a lot like him sometimes. Like when you get fired up. If you would say something he would take offense to, he would go on a rant. I swear, he would just throw in any curse he knew as if it proved his point more," Phil continues to work on the outside of the house, trying to make it look presentable. Tommy absently makes note to tone down his arguing.

"He was also a shit builder like you," Phil teases him, looking for the familiar reaction. As if Tommy's last thought was disregarded, he starts ranting,

"Oh you massive prick! Not a good builder, well we all can't be Philza fucking Minecraft, bi-" Tommy cuts himself off and Phil laughs. Luckily he wasn't fired up enough to lose the accent.

"See! Just like him. You're also blond, but he never liked his hair long. He always wanted to look like Wilber," Phil shakes his head, looking lost on memories. Phil goes on with pride about his son,

"He was good with his words but also fighting. He could easily rally troops with his words. He was also an annoying prick but that made him Tommy."

\---

He sees Tubbo again while sitting at the bench again.

"What are you doing here?" Tubbo asks over the music. Tommy had brought a disc to play this time.

"Oh, I like the view. I even brought a disc this time," he tells him, making his voice sounds more horse. After a few moments Tubbo sits next to him. Tommy doesn't bother to scooch away time. After a couple quiet minutes he hears Tubbo sniffle. He looks to him, Tubbo stares into the blueish gray eyes and flinches.

"Are you okay?"

"Sorry, we just use to sit here and listen to music."

"You and Tommy?" He asks despite already knowing the answer. Tubbo nods and wipes his eyes.

They sit their quietly for a while longer.

"I've found a name by the way. I'm Icarus," he decides to properly introduce himself. This makes Tubbo laugh a bit,

"Like greek myth?"

"Yeah."

They go on talking for a little bit. Tubbo can't seem to figure out why this guy brings him so much comfort.

\--- 

Tommy is going through his chests when Techno walks in. He looks pissed and Tommy is immediately on edge.

He sees Phil following after him,

"Techno, you're being ridiculous," he grabs the half piglin by the shoulder but is shrugged off quickly.

"Oh, well hello? Why did you stop in for a visit?"

"I'm sick of this. Who are you? I know I know you, the voices go wild whenever they see you. You have to be someone, not just a wanderer," Techno takes a step towards him and Tommy steps back.

"Mate, calm down. I literally only met you a week ago," Tommy starts to cough and in his moment of being distracted, Techno pulls the bandana down. Immediately, on instinct, Tommy nails him in the face. He pulls his other arm to cover his face but the damage is done. 

"You bastard! I did fucking nothing to you! But oh no, because your Technoblade it doesn't matter! You're such a bitch sometimes you know that? You fucking-"

"Tommy?" He's interrupted by Phil's voice. He's staring at him like he's seen a ghost, which is a fair reaction. He has spent five years believing is son was dead.

Phil then takes a couple steps forward, disregarding Techno's bleeding nose and pulls Tommy into a hug. At first, not realizing what was happening he flinches back but he quickly melts into it.

He feels overwhelmingly calm all of a sudden. Phil's wings wrap around him and he clings to Tommy like he might disappear. Tommy shoves his face into his neck, sighing contently.

"So I was right, you weren't just a traveller," Techno quips out and Tommy can only grumble.

"Oh god Tommy, my boy, you're alive. You're actually alive," Phil whispers, smoothing his hair over. He mumbles a lot more but Tommy can't seem to make it out. 

Techno then pulls his face up from Phil's shoulder to look at him. He doesn't look as mad as Tommy expects him to be tell he traces over the huge scar on the side of Tommy's face.

"Explosives?" He asks, Tommy just hums in agreement and leans into his hand. His eyes are slightly droopy from the calm feeling that surrounds him.

"You didn't die," Phil states, like he can't believe it.

"I'm too cool to die," Tommy mumbles out.

Soon they relocate so Phil is sitting on Tommy's bed with his head in his lap. Techno is on the floor, leaning against the wall. The way Tommy is acting reminds them of a cat honestly. Sometimes he'll flinch with the sudden touch but otherwise he just sinks into it.

"Tommy, why'd you leave?" Phil gently asks him, as if one wrong thing and he'll disappear again.

"He was watchin' me," Tommy mumbles tiredly, "and then, then he blew it all up. And I was so, so tired." When Phil runs his hands through his hair, that he didn't bother to put up that day, he practically melts. "So I pillered into the sky and was gonna jump off. But then he'd win. So instead I left. No one visited anyways, so," Tommy blinks away the sleep, head feeling a little foggy. After years of being alone the touch just is so nice. He yawns and continues, "so instead I left."

"You could of came to me Tommy. My cabin was only about two biomes away," Techno stares at him. Tommy just blinks at him tiredly.

"I hated you back then. Sure you're still a bitch, but back then," Tommy just sighs and nods off a bit more. "I didn't think that you guys would think I died though. I didn't think about it."

Phil sighs as Tommy falls asleep. After a while Techno speaks up,

"At first I thought he was Dream. He just seemed suspicious." Phil chuckles, shaking his head.

"Leave it to Technoblade to be the one to unveil that its actually his brother, who we all thought committed suicide. I can't believe it's actually him. It seems impossible," Phil laments. He runs his fingers over the scars on Tommy's face lightly. He traces over them all.

"He was suicidal though, he just admitted it. He wasn't just tricking us and throwing us off his trail," Techno thinks openly. The pieces forming in his head like a big puzzle. "That's why his eyes are gray. And they still are." This makes Phil look at him, worry frozen on his face.

"No, please, you don't think?"

"Yeah, I don't think he ever recovered from being there."

\---

Tubbo is quick to hear the news from Phil, who tells him over the communicator.

Before he leaves his house and checks his compass. "Your Tommy" reads on top of it. It use to be spinning but now it's pointing in a solid direction.

Why was it spinning then and not now?

He rushes over to the newly built house and throws the door open. He's promptly shushed by Phil and there he is.

Tommy, alive and well.

While curled up to Phil he looks younger than what Tubbo thought that "Icarus" would look like. He looks tired and it immediately reminds him of Tommy while they where in Pogtopia.

The scars that lace his friends body look downright painful. Tubbo can only imagine what that came from.

"Oh god," is all he can say. After a while of standing there he sits at the edge of the bed, being wary of Tommy's legs. 

Tubbo curses himself for not realizing it sooner. I mean, the guy would constantly sit at the bench, their bench.

"How long have you known?" Tubbo asks, staring at his friends face. It still feels like it'll be a dream. That he'll wake up and Tommy will be dead.

"About an hour," Techno supplies, "got angry and pulled the bandana down." Tubbo soaks the information.

"This, this is real right? He's actually here?"

"Yeah, he's here," Phil pushes back some of his hair and Tommy lets out hum in his sleep. Tubbo chokes back a cry.

Phil grins at him and tilts his head slightly, motioning to the spot next to him. Tubbo goes and curls up at his side.

"He's kind of like a cat. He just melts," Phil explains to him. Hesitantly Tubbo reaches out, resting his hand on Tommy's hair. He can feel him, he's real. When Tommy slightly pushes his head up into the hand he lets out a yelp of surprise. This makes the other two laugh at him.

\---

Now it wasn't just solved in a day. Apparently coming back from the dead, people still have grudges.

Tubbo feels betrayed that he tricked them. It takes a whole long conversation of yelling for them to come to an agreement. It ends with them both crying in each other's arms.

Ranboo honestly doesn't seem to mind that he was lied to and just welcomes Tommy back into L'manburg with open arms.

Ghostbur doesn't seem to understand that he lied and clings to him. He sticks by Tommy's side more often than not.

Phil makes sure to visit him more, usually with Techno in tow. They often have tea, Tommy quickly decided he didn't like the "leaf water." Phil makes sure to always have hot chocolate instead.

Niki and Fundy are just the same, already knowing.

The rest seem to accept his presence, some quicker than others.

The problem is Tommy doesn't know what to do with himself. Everyone seems concerned when he isn't the Tommy they remember. After finding that out he locks himself in his house for a few days.

He ends up in an argument with Quackity about it actually.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you! You use to be fun! What happened to the Tommy that griefed George's house?" He mocks when Tommy refused to join him in trolling the people of the server.

"He died five years ago bitch! You want me to be the Tommy you knew but he's gone! He got exiled and was left alone to rot!" Tommy shoves him back harshly. Quackity is quick to throw the first punch after that and they are torn away but Tubbo and Phil, who noticed the commotion.

Quackity himself was hit more than Tommy. Quackity is quick to recognize that he's gotten a lot stronger than he use to be. Once Tommy is in Phil's arms he breaks down sobbing. It's so un-Tommy like that everyone freezes. Phil is quick to bring Tommy back to his house. Before they leave they see Tommy flinch and stare into the trees. He struggles against Phil for a second until he lets himself be led away.

"Quackity what the fuck was that?"

"I don't even know why we started fighting. I was just asking why he was boring now."

\---

They all watch as Tommy becomes more jumpy. He starts wearing his netherite armor everywhere, Techno swears he even sees him wearing it while he sleeps. He starts to keep his hand on his sword at all times.

"Why are you so jumpy now?" Techno asks him, being as blunt as ever. Tommy frowns at him.

"Dreams here. Unless he is fake but I haven't hallucinated in a couple years," Tommy checks around the potato farm quick and then goes back to farming. "He's not here right now but he's been watching," he admits.

"He's back?"

"He has been since I first got into the country."

After that conversation Techno spends more time with Tommy. He watches out and is able to catch glimpses of neon green. Over this time though he can see the little bit of blue, that had returned to Tommy's eyes, fading.

He tells Phil, getting concerned. Phil brings it up and Tommy denies it completely. Saying his eyes have been gray for a long time and he's just seeing things.

"Tommy, it's okay. It's me, you don't need to put those walls up. Do you still feel the things you described in the journal your wrote at Logstedshire?" Phil just puts it on the table. Tommy flinches at this, his eyes darting away. He looks like a cornered animal.

So Phil decides to use what he knows works. He slowly brings his hands to cup his face, making him look at him.

"Phil he's here somewhere. He's back to kill me-"

"Tommy, it's not about Dream right now. It's just me and you." Tommy sighs at his words and answers his question,

"Sometimes, but it's not as bad as it used to be! I don't hallucinate anymore," Tommy shrugs, suddenly feeling defensive. Phil stares him down in his gray eyes. Him and Techno have been keeping note of how much blue is there and how much isn't. Recently it's gone down and they've noticed.

"Tommy, you can be better than before but still be depressed," Phil tells him gently. This of course causes Tommy to lash out,

"I have nothing to be depressed about! I'm back in L'manburg, I have all my friends again. It's not like I have any problems in my life anymore!"

"Tommy-"

"No, you're treating me like a child. I'm fucking 21 if you've forgotten. But I all of a sudden come back and everyone treats me like some fragile kid."

"Tommy that's not-"

"You got to stop trying to be my Dad still! You obviously chose Techno over me and-"

"Tommy thats-"

"Oh fuck off," and he's gone. Phil sighs and runs a hand down his face. That could of gone better.

\---

After that Tommy disappears for a bit. After a couple days Tubbo panics and goes to his house. He finds Tommy underground, just mining and working. He gives one off responses, looking tired.

Tubbo only leaves after Tommy practically demands he does. Tommy insists he doesn't want to be watched. 

After that argument with Phil his nightmares have been getting worse. It's to the point where he doesn't try to sleep. Phantoms loom over his house.

Ghostbur visits from time to time but he just is promptly shooed away.

Tommy gets more and more jumpy as a week passes. He's only been able to get maybe a couple hours in but it never lasts.

His dreams are filled with visions of Logstedshire, explosions and the tower.

Tommy thinks about the tower a lot in this week. He thinks about how much better it would of been if he had actually died.

These thoughts scare him. So after a long time of just hiding in his base he leaves. He speed walks away from the phantoms and other monsters as he makes his way to Phil's house.

Being as quiet as he can, he sneaks in. He lays down on the couch and stares off for a bit. Exhaustion finally creeps up on him though and he finally falls asleep.

Techno later walks in, too tired to make his way to his base. He sees Tommy dead asleep on the couch and chuckles. He slowly unclips his cape and drapes it over him. He mumbles a "good night" and heads to the spare room.

It was a long day of minor terrorism.

The next morning when Phil wakes up, he first only sees a cape and pink hair.

"Techno, I have a spare bedroom for a reason," he sighs and walks over quietly. When he sees who it actually is he grins widely. He heads back up to his room and brings down a blanket. He covers Tommy up.

He hears Tommy hum, contently and smiles.

Later they end up having a conversation. Tommy admits to the depressing thoughts and that they haven't stopped for the past five years. He slowly builds a stronger support system and hides away less when he feels these things.

But for now Tommy rests peacefully on Phil's couch, safe.

\---

"Techno," a voice calls out for him which makes him turn around slowly. He watches the person in question carefully.

"Dream," he replies coldly. Just seeing him brings back the rage filled attack. To all the blood that was shed that day. The voices start to scream again.

"You've really let yourself go. You siding with the government," he remarks.

"Dream, you must be a fool to think that's the case."

"Well, it's been five years and the government is still here," this makes Techno stop and think. Sure he had his minor offenses at the government but those did nothing in the long run.

"I'm retired."

"Technoblade doesn't retire," Dream simply says.

"I could kill you right now."

"You won't."

"You hurt my family."

"What family?" This makes Techno think again. Sure, he came into the family at a later date. He was older, more mature. He didn't need to rely on Phil. He simply enjoyed the company. But he thought of them all as family. Even when Wilber and Tommy betrayed him.

"What's your point?" Techno asks.

"I want L'manburg gone. I think we should team up. No one could stop us."

"Why would I do that? I'm retired and incase you forgot, you hurt my little brother."

"Think about it Technoblade, Phil would join you if you asked. He's the one you care about mo-" Techno quickly cuts him off,

"Tommy is back. You know this. Did you forget why Phil and I killed you?" The piglin hybrid rolls his eyes.

"Tommy betrayed you," Dream acts like it's the most obvious thing in the world. It pisses Techno off.

"And then you almost killed him," Techno raises an eyebrow at him.

"And why should you care?"

"Because he's my brother."

"This isn't about Tommy Technoblade. This is about finally destroying the government that has caused all of this to happen."

\---

Recently Techno has been acting weirder than normal and Tommy feels anxious.

So what does he do?

He goes to the nether and starts to build a giant cobblestone tower. Be builds quickly, as if it'll stop the nervous twitching.

Once he finishes he goes and sits at the top, looking over the fiery hellscape. He sits on the edge, feeling a sense of calm wash over him. He stares into the lava. It feels good to remember that it's always an option.

He can always give up.

He sits there for hours until his legs go numb.

It's always an option.

\---

One day Ghostbur comes up to him, asking to see where he lived. He's cheerful and Tommy can't seem to say no. He quickly is joined by Tubbo, who hears the commotion and decides he wants to come along.

While going to leave they see Phil and Technoblade. Tubbo asks them if they would like to join to, but they deny.

Tommy is filled with that weird sense of anxiety again.

Ghostbur seems to squirm a bit under his gaze.

They soon head to the nether to continue their journey. When Tubbo sees the tower he feels sick. After that he sticks closer to Tommy's side. Tommy secretly doesn't mind.

Once they get to the old portal to Logstedshire Tommy leads them off the path. He briefly wonders why he didn't just take this way to get back. He then remembers feeling that it would look suspicious if anyone saw him.

He is quick to open up a path he dug out. They walk for a long time tell they get to a portal. Tommy doesn't hesitate to step in.

When they are out he notices the rain. Ghostbur sizzles a little bit. After seeing that Tommy tries to lead them under thicker trees, to protect his brother.

Tubbo notices how much more considerate he's become over time. Now that he thinks about it, his friend hasn't mentioned the discs once.

Once they get to a crappy looking house Tommy ushers them inside. It's quite small, but Tommy never minded. It was home.

Tubbo watches at Tommy smiles at being here. The place looks very much decorated to Tommy's liking. The inside is slightly dug into the side of a hill, like his old house.

"Welcome to my 'ome," he tells them, going through his chests. He doesn't seem to be looking for anything in particular. Tubbo notices the ender chest shoved in the corner. He opens it and grabs what he forgot to give back to Tommy.

"Tommy, I forgot about this, but you should have it back," Tubbo tells him, holding it out. When Tommy turns around and sees it his face drops. He takes it carefully and looks at it.

Then he raises it to his knee and breaks it in half. Tubbo swears his heart stops beating for a second.

"The discs don't matter Tubbo."

Later when the rain calms down Tommy introduces them to his cows. He quickly is tending to them. They seem to be doing fine after Tommy left them for a month. Just in case Tommy is quick to out more food and fresh water in with them.

"Hello Betty, how do you do?" He asks one who leans against him slightly.

The cows seem to like him. Tubbo is glad that when he was out here he had something.

\---

When they are walking back they all feel dread. Ghostbur has been acting weird this whole time.

"You know, Techno asked me to take you out today! He said- he said- I don't remember," Ghostbur rambles. Tommy freezes and starts to run for the portal. Something is wrong. He can feel it in his gut. Something is horribly wrong.

Tubbo is quick to follow after him. Ghostbur tried to catch up, confused.

Once they get out of the portal he can hear what's wrong.

There is fire, explosions and the sounds of withers. Tommy freezes up, wanting to curl into himself. But he quick to grab his sword and hold his shield a little closer. He runs through the community center and towards L'manburg. Tubbo is struggling to keep up, but looks just as panicked as him.

Once they get close enough Tommy stares into the craters. He watches as the Withers follow after people and the animals. Attacking and attempting to kill anything. He looks up at the stuff that is dropping the TNT. He feels sick.

He hears a gasp from behind him and then Wilbur openly crying.

Tommy then takes off, running to find people. Someone to tell him it wasn't who he thinks it was. But before he can get far someone is stopping him. They stand in his way.

Tommy takes a step away, breath hitching.

"I didn't think you would be here today Tommy. Techno says he sent you out," Dream confirms his suspicions.

"Why though?"

"This is what I wanted. This is what he wanted. He simply have similar goals." Tommy quickly looks at the destruction and sees fireworks shoot out. Tommy finds himself flinching and taking another step back.

"Ohz hi Dream!" Ghostbur smiles shakingly and Tubbo pushes him back, stepping by Tommy's side.

"Dream, what the fuck have you done?" Tubbo looks lost. Dream shrugs and Tommy can practically feel the smirk he's wearing.

"Tubbo," Tommy looks at his friend, keeping Dream in his eyesight, incase he tries anything.

"Tommy."

"Fight well," and then he is charging at Dream, sword in hand. Dream is quick to defend, pulling his shield up. Tommy is more sloppy than usual, the loud noises frightening him. But it also makes his hits harder and more direct. He's aiming to kill.

Tubbo pulls out his sword, rushing in to help, even with his shitty armor.

Tommy and Tubbo fight side by side. Tubbo is quick to see how much better Tommy is while Tommy makes sure to protect Tubbo from Dreams hits.

When Dreams sword catches Tommy's arm he cries out in pain. He pushes himself back again to blink away the pain. This doesn't stop Dream from going to rush him, only to be attacked by Tubbo.

After a few seconds Tommy is back to fighting. Ghostbur is opening sobbing in the background.

Then they hear the sound of wings flapping. They all know Phil is there. Tommy decides to ignore him, going after Dream still.

"Tommy stop. Let's just go," Phil tells him. Tommy looks at him with betrayal fierce in his eyes. With that distraction Dream goes in, stabbing Tommy. Tommy looks down at the sword, eyes wide. He watches Tommy grin and then he feels it.

Tommy stabbed him right through the middle.

Tommy falls back and Dream does the same thing. Tubbo screams and runs to Tommy. He is quick to take off his shirt and hold it to the wound.

"Tommy! No, you can't die again. You are all I have left."

"I'm not dead yet," Tommy seems like he wants to just shrug it off. Not noticing how bad the wound truly is. Phil is quick to drop besides his head. He holds up a potion to his mouth and Tommy drinks it, not caring what it is. It fills his body with warmth and he feels drowsy. He decides to close his eyes and rest for a while. The sounds of explosions don't help lull him to sleep.

Dream is left there to bleed out. 

\---

When Tommy wakes up he doesn't recognize where he is. He groans and goes to sit up but is stopped by immense pain. He looks down and sees fresh bandages.

He is soon swarmed with thoughts of what happened. L'manburg is gone.

He killed Dream.

He can't help the laughs the escape him and can't seem to calm himself down. Even when he's gasping for air and can feel someone holding him he can't stop.

Later Phil walks in and Tommy refuses to talk to him. Tubbo is pressed against his side the whole time.

Phil changes his bandages and leaves.

"Tubbo, I don't care what you do, but I'm going to leave," Tommy mutters as he goes to stand up. Just moving hurts so much but Tommy is stubborn. Even as there is black spots in the corner of his vision he searches for some clothes to put on.

"Tommy, you can barely walk."

"They destroyed everything. I came back and then they destroyed it all," Tommy looks at him, eyes completely grey. They both know the unspoken words Tommy is saying,

"It was my fault."

"Tommy, at least wait to heal-"

"I'll just get attached again. You know where I'll be, you're welcome to visit."

"Tommy you're being insane!" Tubbo exclaimes, trying to not be too loud. He doesn't want to alert Technoblade or Phil.

"Tubbo, the thing I came back for is gone. The people I came back for- Tubbo, you and Wilbur know where I live. You can visit," Tommy is filled with anxiety as he says this. A little voice whispers in the back of his head about how they it'll be just like exile again; that no one will come.

"Tommy-"

"Tubbo you can't stop me."

\---

That day he left. He struggled through the snow, almost clasping multiple times. He slightly regrets not waiting tell he didn't have a literal hole in him. The health potion helped a lot, making the wound less severe that it was originally.

On his way out Techno finds him and Tommy only says he's leaving. Techno follows him on Carl. He doesn't try and convince him to come back. Once Tommy's out of the snow biome he turns the other way.

While walking he kind of regrets not taking the nether way, but he didn't want to have to deal with the mobs.

When he gets home he lays in bed for days. He only getting up for water and sometimes a bite of food.

Now when doing chores around his home he has to use a cane. His body aches at the end of the day.

Tubbo visits regularly. They've both made a silent deal to not talk about whatever is happening over at the Smp. Tommy doesn't want to hear it and Tubbo doesn't want to talk about it. They make jokes and Tubbo helps him care for the cows. He even sets up a little bee farm. When the chores of the day are over they like to sit and watch.

At the start Ghostbur visits more days than not. He builds himself a small home near and happily talks to him. They don't talk about sad things. Ghostbur not remembering most things and among the cows Ghostbur leaves Friend there with him.

It makes Tommy happy to know he trusts him enough to leave Friend in Tommy's care.

But one day Ghostbur stops showing up.

Tommy feels a twinge of pain rush through him when he realizes that Ghostbur is not coming back to visit him. He reminds himself he should of expected it. It's exactly what happened when he was exiled.

He wants to ask Tubbo why he stopped visiting but he doesn't want to know the answer.

Tommy doesn't let anyone touch him anymore. He flinches away from it. He has his house and surrounding area lit up too much. When he hears creepers explode it sends him panicking, so he decides to not go near the things.

Months pass and with the quiet it leaves Tommy to think: what was L'manburg to him?

It was his old home. It brought him so much pain, it's killed him twice. He fought and gave up everything for that country. He was betrayed by it also. He was betrayed by the government that ran it.

Tommy doesn't exactly care that it's blown up.

He cares about the people.

The people that where affected by it being blown up. When he asked that everyone was okay, Tubbo confirmed the only person to die was Dream.

He was gone forever.

What bothers him the most was what Technoblade and Phil did. They sides with his abuser. They sided with Dream, the man that almost made him kill himself. He understands having similar interests but they knew what he did.

In the end, Tommy decides it doesn't matter in the long run. He of course doesn't forgive them, but he decides to just deal with it.

After finally figuring that out he's stuck in bed for a couple days, out of grief. He doesn't know what he's grieving through. His former self who would never accept it? 

All he knows is that he's accepted it. It happened and he can't change it. He can't change his family.

So after a few weeks he returns to Techno's cabin. It takes him a day to get there, even taking the nether route. His body never fully recovered from the stab wound, leaving him weaker than he'll ever admit.

But he eventually gets there.

He is surprised to see multiple houses surrounding the cabin. He sees a tall tower and grins. It's well built, a lot nicer than the ones he's made. He wonders who could of possibly built it.

As he gets closer he sees that there is three new houses. Sure he expected one for Phil but the other two he has no idea who the other two could belong to. He doubts that one is Tubbo's.

As he gets even closer he sees a familiar yellow sweater and pauses. He guesses Ghostbur really has forgot. But as soon as the figure sees him, he starts running.

"Tommy?" He calls out and Tommy freezes. There is no ghostly echo or the rasp that he was so familiar with. Before he can even say anything back he's tackled into the snow. Wilbur wraps his arms tightly around his brother. Tommy stiffens up,

"You're all alive and shit. What the fuck. How-"

"Oh god! I thought you left for good!" He hears Wilbur say wetly and he awkwardly hugs him back.

"You're crushing me you bitch. Let's get up, the snow is fucking cold," Tommy grumbles and tries to push him off. After a few seconds he's released from his death grip. Wilbur stays close while Tommy brushes off the snow. 

"I, oh god Toms, it's been fucking years since I've seen you," Wilbur moves his glasses to wipe his eyes.

"You saw me a couple months ago. You're the one that stopped visiting," Tommy grumbles out, leaning against the cane more. The fall and tight hold making his old wound ache.

"Oh, you mean, I don't remember anything from being a ghost," Wilbur explains to him. Tommy hums, wondering why Tubbo didn't tell him about his brother rising from the dead. He quickly thinks back to their unspoken rule and the last time Wilbur was alive and understands.

"You're not still crazy right?"

"Only the right amount of crazy now," Wilbur laughs and sniffles.

"So still bat shit insane," this makes Wilbur burst out laughing and Tommy grins. After a little bit Wilbur insists they move inside. Now Tommy only has one piece of the puzzle missing. He wonders who the last house belongs to.

"So, Tommy, oh god you've aged," Wilbur quips and Tommy's face scrunches up in that familiar face of offense.

"At least I did age! I'm a big man now! In the Americans rules I can drink," he fires back. They keep the light conversation up for a while. They adjust right back into the old dynamic. Sometimes they have to pause for when Tommy coughs, voice getting sore.

"So why are you back?" Wilbur finally breaks out the big question. Tommy pauses before replying,

"What a man can't visit his family?" Wilbur gives him a look, "ah well, with L'manburg gone and- well the whole Dream shit. I, uh, well I don't forgive them, but I accept it. The green bitch is dead anyways." Wilbur nods along,

"Phil and Techno where convinced you weren't coming back this time. Tubbo wouldn't tell them where you lived."

"Well good because I would of clocked then if they showed up. But, I guess, uh," Tommy pauses again, thinking about how to phrase it. "I guess living alone is, well lonely. I'm not going to exile myself again." Wilbur freezes up at his words and Tommy shrugs.

"It's fine, I've dealt with it. It's old news. But sure I had Tubbo this time but, you know what Phil would say, "you can't replace family" or whatever," Tommy looks down, feeling his face flushed. Wilbur awes at him,

"Tommy," he drags out, "you missed us," he teases.

"Fucking duh! I was alone for five years! And then I got them back but then left again. So, I'm hear to invite you guys to my house, for dinner. Tubbo knows the way so he could lead you guys," Tommy explains, looking excited. Wilbur swears he sees a bit of Tommy's old fire back in his eyes. His eyes are still that dull gray but blue seems to swirl around them.

"I'll be there."

"Good, let the pig and old man know," Tommy smiles warmly.

They chat for a while longer. Wilbur makes fun of his hair but ends up braiding his hair in the end. Tommy finds out the other house is Ranboo's and that they've become quick friends with him. They talk about how Phil and Techno brought him back. After a while though he decides he has to return home.

Wilbur gives him another hug, this one lighter and not hurting as much. Tommy makes sure to remind him to actually get the invites out this time.

On his way out he catches Techno, instead of talking to him he just shouts,

"Dinner at my place soon! Talk to Wilbur about it! Be there pig!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo! This one's over 10,000 words! Took me a while. Some parts feel a little weird but I wrote this before L'manburg got destroyed. Some parts may be a little out of character but, this is my story. I ignore cannon and write things to make brain happy.  
> Also thank you for all the kudos and comments! I read all of them and they make me happy :D  
> Also I mostly write Tommy's pov or tommy centric fics because he is who I watch smp wise.  
> And also once I write in one person's pov it's hard to do another.


	13. Campfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little campfire story before L'manburg was even a thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just to let you know this one is very dialogue based! It also has pieces of "Solider, Poet, King" in it!

"Okay, okay so I got a story!" Tommy speaks up. Dream pokes at the fire while Sapnap stares at it intensely. George looks like he's close to falling asleep at this point.

Tubbo raises an eyebrow at him, amused with Tommy's excitement.

"So, I when I was younger I stayed on a private server. I was still a big man but then I met them!"

"Oh of course you're telling this story," Tubbo cuts in. Tommy shoves Tubbo.

"So, I knew this guy. He was the most amazing solider I met. He never died, not once. He had this fucking amazing sword, could kill things so quickly. He could tear down whole cities with a glance!" Tommy tells them excitedly. Tubbo rolls his eyes fondly. Dream leans in closer,

"A soldier?" He questions.

"Better than Dream?" Sapnap raises an eyebrow. He shoots a glance at Dream which earns him a glare.

"Ten times better. People feared his name," Tommy replies, stuffing a marshmello in his mouth.

"Yeah, he could take you down anyway Dream," Tubbo pitches in. Dream makes a noise sounding offended but Tommy continues,

"And then I knew this other guy. He called himself a poet or singer or something but I just thought he was an idiot. But he was shit at fighting but he used his words as a weapon."

"He will slay you with his tongue-" Tubbo sings out.

"Oh shut up Tubbo! I was 10 give me a break!" He whines.

"Okay where is this story going?" George asks, "right now we got a soldier, who is better than Dream-"

"Hey!"

"And a poet."

"Hm, well, we had a ruler. Not really a ruler but he guided us. He wasn't very strict but we all followed him anyways. He was like a Dad or something-"

"Why not "a brow is laid in thorn?"" Tubbo pouts.

"I was 10 Tubbo give it up!" Tommy yells.

"Wait so you actually know these people?" Dream asks and Tubbo and Tommy nod.

"Duh, I met them when I was like 7," Tommy scuffs like it's very obvious, "we where on a quest. The government around us was very shit and we wouldn't stand for it."

"Do you just revolt anywhere you go?" Sapnap quips.

"Duh, have you met Technoblade? It's practically our job," Tubbo shrugs like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

George, Sapnap and Dream are all immediately shocked.

"WAIT!"

"TECHNOBLADE? AS IN THE BLOOD GOD?"

"HOLY FUCK."

"Oh wait, did we never tell you about where we came from?" Tommy rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. He clearly wasn't expecting this reaction.

"Wait! I remember fighting Technoblade when I was younger!" Dream points out. Tommy just nods,

"Yeah I know, I met you that day."

"Wait, oh! You where the little blond kid!"

"Hey!" Tommy scuffs out.

"Wait wait wait, so these guys are your family Tommy?" George interrups, clearly trying to get ahold of the situation.

"Duh, I thought you guys knew!"

"I did too! I mean, we where invited to this server!" Tubbo points out.

"I found out about you guys from bedwars! Not you being Philza's kid- wait Tubbo are you also their family?" Dream interrups himself.

"Well kinda, I was more an honorary member but I never officially came to live with them or anything," Tubbo explains.

"Wait a second, Philza? As in the god of life and death?" As Sapnap finishes his sentence Tommy groans.

"Why does everyone call him that? Like he's fucking amazing but damn. God is a little dramatic," Tommy rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

"So I'm guessing the poet is Wilbur?" George guesses, getting a nod. "Isn't be a published musician? Why'd you call him a poet?" Tommy blushes and Tubbo immediately goes to him in,

"Oh! When we where little, Tommy made up this song! Techno helped him with the words and Wilbur helped him with almost everything else."

"Can I finish my story now?" Everyone grumbles more but eventually let's him continue, "so, we where going to take down the government. We set off in the direction of the main city with a purpose. I want you to imagine how happy Technoblade was. Taking down governments is his shit!" He snickers,

"So we got there and getting into the damn castle was hell! Phil almost got an axe to the wing!"

"His wings are real? I thought they were just a myth," George sits up more, suddenly more interested in the topic. 

"Oh yeah, he's an avian hybrid," Tommy shrugs it off.

"They're all hybrids-"

"Tubbo!" Tommy shoots him a look and Tubbo immediately brings a hand to his mouth.

"You're a hybrid Tommy?" Dream asks surprised.

"I'm an avian hybrid too. Just never got me-wings. Could be deformed or something, but the bone structure is there," Tommy says sheepishly, almost ashamed. He's always been insecure about it.

"I'm a blaze hybrid! So don't worry about it," Sapnap pitches in. He's obviously trying to make Tommy feel better, "I still can't so a bunch of things other blaze hybrids can." It kind of works too, Tommy sits ups little straighter. Tubbo shoots him a greatful glance. He never meant to spill his friends secret.

"Okay, anyways, my story! So we are going down the halls to the king's office. I was like 10 at the time too! 10 and already being so powerful," Tommy snickers to himself.

"You were ten? Why'd they let you come?" Dream leans further in, practically drinking up the information. Who knows, maybe it could come in handy later?

"Oh, I snuck out. Phil tried to leave me in a inn but I followed them. But so we bust into the office. And mind I tell you, we got Wilbur, who isn't wearing armor. He have a blood raged Technoblade. And we got Philza fucking Minecraft, who is just emotionless. And what is the king doing? He's drinking himself into oblivion." This gets some shocked laughs. Tommy huddles a little closer to the fire and Tubbo scooches a little loser. Dream wraps an arm around George and Sapnap leans against Dream.

The forest is making soft noises, mobs can be heard from far away.

"And I was shocked. The guy was black out drunk while all his men were fighting for his life. And so we are all in shock. I mean this guy was supposed to be a terrifying leader but he looked pathetic. And guess what happened?"

"Hm?"

"Did he whip his dick out or something?"

"Ew, Sapnap-"

"He had a stroke and died right there." This gets a round of laughs. Tommy struggles to hold himself together but he can't so he soon joins in on the laughter.

"Wait, after all that he just died? So what did you guys do? Did you take over?" Tubbo laughs louder at Dream's question.

"Of course not! Techno and Phil have never been one for government. It's now an anarchist society. From what I heard it's doing okay still," Tommy smiles softly at the thought.

"What was the point of that story?" Sapnap asks.

"To show off that my family is cooler than any of yours." They all roll their eyes at them.

Little do they know, history repeats itself and makes it hurt ten times more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought of this while high and perfected it while not high. Tommy's story was originally about how he got stuck under a piston and they laughed at him and it was gonna be a different vibe.  
> But I like how it turned out.
> 
> I also have some heavier stuff coming but I wanted to write something more light hearted while I struggle to write the others.


	14. I'm not supposed to be here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy sees Wilbur again

It's so cold. Where am I? Am I still in the prison?

"Sam!" I call out into the void. My body feels weak. I take a step forward, "Tubbo?!" I call out but silence stays. "Techno! Phil! Puffy? Dream? Anyone?" I slump in on myself.

I don't like being alone.

"Tommy?" I whip my head around and lock eyes with him.

"W-Wilbur?" I run into his awaiting arms. He holds me tightly and I grasp back just as hard.

"Oh Tommy, what the hell are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be here."

"I didn't have a choice Wilbur," I look up to him, "I didn't even die a hero. I just died."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I have a longer work coming out soon. I'm at 10,000 words. It'll be a fun one ;)


End file.
